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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Majestic Hiss View Post

    The reason I ask is my mum mentioned kids without a good attachment often go to anyone, and now I'm worried.
    I would have thought the opposite TBH.

    I wouldn't worry for now, just make sure you teach him about stranger danger in future. I have a major extrovert and I seriously worry about him being vulnerable because he's so kind natured and trusting, despite me nagging him for many years about strangers.

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    Hmmm DS always walks upto strangers to cuddle them. A few weeks ago we were at the doctors and this man in dirty work clothes and a terrible sounding cough, was standing at the counter paying his fee. DS walks upto him and cuddles his thigh and then tops it off with a kiss on that thigh.
    It made me kinda nauseous. I grabbed DS and got his wipes out and started to wipe his face and lips like a mad woman
    I dont mind him cuddling strangers, but there's a reason why that guy was seeing a GP

  3. #13
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    My 15 month old DD is exactly the same. She goes up to strangers (just the ones who she likes the look of, lol), and says 'up' and lifts up her arms. When we go to the doctor, she walks straight up to my dr and says 'up, up'. Then she tries to give them big open mouth kisses.

    I know she still loves her mummy, though When she has hurt herself, or is tired or cranky, she only wants me (lol, I get her at the grumpy times!), and I think this demonstrates the attachment between me and her. She will also wander away, but will always look for me and won't go too far, and will continually return to me to check in. I don't think it demonstrates a lack of secure attachment - I think if anything, it demonstrates that they are secure in their bond with you to know that they can confidently explore and that you will still be there for them when they need you.

  4. #14
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    both my DD's are like this.

    DD1 is 4.5 and will happily talk to anyone, join in games with other families at the beach or park etc but she always keeps me in her view and comes back eventually

    DD2 is 17mths and has a 'man' obsession, everyone who bears a slight resemblence to daddy or pop is her target and she will run to them and hug their legs.

  5. #15
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Regarding attachment OP, strong attachments are known for creating confident and independent children, not the opposite

  6. #16
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    My boys are the same, happy, confident, independent and very social due to our style of parenting now how do I teach them about stranger danger?!?

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    Ive had similar experiences with my dd and it started at 4 months which made me nervous and chuckle at the same time. She's partial to men/boys and she has excellent taste (they're always gorgeous!) but now at 5 she's tall and a clasp of the thigh now puts her in a private zone that is harder to break than I would have thought. She's so enthusiastic she doesn't think about the inappropriate position, I know she's not being fresh but it's still an uncomfortable thing for a growing girl to do, not to mention the stranger danger/ freaky family friend with issues worry... So I'm just saying, it's really cute when they're tiny tots but what habits are we allowing to take root if we just laugh it off... Thats My story anyway

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    It is totally normal at that age. Don't stress you are doing a great job.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    My boys are the same, happy, confident, independent and very social due to our style of parenting now how do I teach them about stranger danger?!?
    It come with age normally. If it doesn't look up "the circle of friends' speech therapy charts and start to introduce the different levels.
    Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 11-04-2012 at 07:14.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Majestic Hiss View Post
    My 15mo is very confident and happy (most of the time).

    This morning at playgroup he kept wanting to be picked up and cuddled by one of the mums - she was basically a stranger, we had never been to this playgroup before.

    In group situations he is very happy to wander away from me and do his own thing.

    Does this seem unusual to you? Is it a sign of a confident, secure little man?

    The reason I ask is my mum mentioned kids without a good attachment often go to anyone, and now I'm worried.
    Omg your mum is so wrong! Kids who are content, well adjusted, trusting, loving, secure give love and receive love freely.

    Children who have attachment issues are clingy and sookie.

    Your ds is completely normal and well adjusted.

    Awareness of strangers was a horrible thing to teach my dd who used to be the same. On one hand I wZnted her to love life and people and on the other hand I wanted her to understand caution.

    At 15 months you could say we only hug people we know. He will begin to understand. When he is aprons others you can say would you like to hug nan coz we know her. He will soon start understanding the concept and language.

    When he goes to a stranger tell him no, we don't really know this lady. Then I would turn to the adult and tell them you are trying to teach boundaries relating to strangers. I am sure all people understand why this is do important.

    GL xxx


 

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