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  1. #1
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    Default 9yr old looking after twins

    I am frustrated that DD1 father and wife leave her took look after 7 month old twins so they can sleep in. She has a bossy complex about her already without giving her the responsibilities of an adult! They always ask DD1 to give them a bottle change their bums.... Things they should be doing. I can fully understand helping... Hey can u grab me a nappy instead of sitting outside smoking screaming can u change his bum and rock him to sleep. Her behaviour at home has now come to beating the dog.... Cause she thinks she is boss of the dog...this happened this morning. If i am outside she won't say anything to the dog unless necessary .. As soon as i go inside she threw the ball when the dog came running back she flogged ir and told the dog it was naughty then continued to hit it????? She does the same with her sister... Who is 2 pushes her around physically drags her and yells at her n tell her what to do.... What am i doing wrong... I spoke to her father this morning in a nice way and said hey can u pull back a bit on it... But as usual im the cow.

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    I'd be pulling her up big time. There is no need to hit anyone, dog included.

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    M.2.  (10-04-2012),MamaC  (10-04-2012)

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    I did i took her monster high dolls away for 1 week .... And has been grounded from the wii until further notice since this post due to having an i don't care attitude towards me. If she cannot care i don't believe she should have anything special.

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    Wow that makes me really sad for the poor dog!
    Sounds like a good chat is in order in addition to punishment. Soun like your onto it

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    Quote Originally Posted by TripleTime View Post
    I'd be pulling her up big time. There is no need to hit anyone, dog included.
    Yep!

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    She beats the dog for returning the ball she threw, and tells it its naughty, she physically drags and yells at her sister? That is seriously concerning. I'd be worried first of all that she's been treated this way herself. And if this is how she treats animals and people, how is she treating the 7 month olds?

    I wouldn't just be tellng her father to pull back a bit, I'd be tellng him there is a serious problem developing and the two of you need to have a consistent, effective yet loving approach to discipline and she is not to be in charge of the twins at all. You need more than just taking away her toys for that kind of violent behaviour. Maybe look around for a triple P parenting program or 1,2,3 Magic or similar for help. How is she at school, behaviour wise?

    I'd also be doing things to show her how to be firm but kind, like take her and the dog to proper dog obedience training, or volunteer to help exercise the dogs at the RSPCA.

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  10. #7
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    agreed missmuppet!

  11. #8
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Yep Miss Muppet I was just about to type that myself... teach her to care... take her to RSPCA to be a dog walker, or player.. sometimes they have volunteers that come in to play, walk and groom the dogs.

    Also, treating her siblings like that is just NOT ON.. ever! In our house, when one of the boys hurts the another one, I make them be the doctor... and then think of a way to make it up. Eg. Yesterday Jordan screamed at Gabriel and slammed his bedroom door in Gabriel's face to stop him coming in. Not acceptable. So Jordan had to stay in his room and think of a way to make it up to Gabe.. which ended up being an apology and a hug, reading him a book and playing trucks with him.

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    She isnt bad with the kids at all no anger toward them that i know of she has always been good to babies this is a recent hands on thing. I am worried i see how the other child in their care is raised but there is nothing anyone can do. I am seeking help in dealing with her attitude cause i am at a loss haven't given up just needed outside help in other ways .. I try and explain the best way i can... Ie ... U cannot hit the dog how would you like it if that was done to you the dog has feelings and will bite back one day... And that is something i don't want to happen no dog should ever feel the need to bite in defence.....no matter what i say about this to her dad i know for a fact it goes in one ear and out the other... They are lazy in raising the children they have. Im not perfect but i don't let my 9 year old raise her sister.. I think taking her to training with the dog is a great idea. Just can't help thinking that this is my fault some how. Thou i never physically abuse her. And she hasn't seen it in this house. Her father said this morning it could be because i am expecting.... I don't see the link between her recent behaviour and the pregnancy if it was for jealousy then she wouldn't be excited wouldn't talk to the belly and i don't think she would be interested in him at all. Did that make sense?

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    Her behaviour at school is great lots of awards and i keep contact with the principle we worked out a reward system.... And remind her everyday that good behaviour is rewarded .... Recently she got new going out shoes and dolls because she has worked so hard. She spent the first week of the holidays at her dads and got them when she came home..... If i knew this was going to be the case i would have held of a day or two until she showed me other wise.

    Sent from my space ship


 

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