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  1. #21
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    Yep same here. I had a big group of friends which half had kids. And towards the end I realized that they weren't really "nice people" and didnt want my kids growing up with them. But some of the others we loved but were still in the party stage and wasn't interested in kids. So we've grown apart.
    It sucks and is really hard. I have my family and partner and no "friends". But wouldn't change it for the world. Its like finding the write man in a way haha. We'll all eventually find a good group of women that feel the exact same. Like we have in this forum but hopefully next step is in the same town lol.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Youngish87 View Post
    Why is it when you have a baby you lose most of your friends?
    im 24 i have a 14 month old and i use to have heaps of friends before i had my son. i had about 7-10 mates i would see on a weekly basis and prob 3 i would see on a daily basis. now i have none! not even 1 i could talk to about things i only have my fiance.
    when my son was first born about 3 came to the hospital to see me and bubs. i would ring them up weekly see if they watched to catch up even if it ment me catching a bus somewhere to see them and they would always have a excuse like "oh i have a cold and dont wanna get bubs sick" funny u dont sound sick and ur fb says ur out and about shopping. i feel very alone. i dont have adult conversation unless its when my fiance comes home from work. i tried mothers group but everyones back at work. i feel also like i have failed with my son cause whenever we make to 2 hour drive back to my parents house where my 3 nieces and 2 nephews live my son dont seem to like having other children around and dosent cope with them. i seriously dont know what to do and im completely lost. any advice is helpful. thank you.

    cant really help with advice cause i have no friends really either but i am here to lend an ear, i am 26 and have an 8month old pm if u like and we could chat on facebook or msn or something where abouts are u located

  3. #23
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    I think best thing to do is make new friends - friends with kids - friends who understand.

    Honestly now I have a 3 year old and newborn I have little patience for my childless friends.

    My 'bestfriend' tells me how tired she is, how little sleep she gets, how hard it is getting up early for work and how lucky I am that I dont have to go to work.

    She says to me she cant wait to have kids so she has time. More time for house work. More time to cook healthy meals and lose weight. Because my house is cleaner than hers and I cook and clean and exercise so clearly these things come automatically with motherhood and require no effort on my part. Obviously my children clean my house or something?! Or maybe I cook every night because we dont have a double income to live off take away & my kids need clean clothes.

    She complains she cant do all her laundry because she has so many clothes they dont have enough room in a 3 bedroom house just her and her husband to put them away.

    BUT if I say IM tired... Well... She understands. She has a freaking cat.
    'cosleeping' with a cat is NOT the same. Unless shes breast feeding it... :-/

    *takes deep breath*

    Sent from my X10i using BubHub

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  5. #24
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    Couldn't read this without replying. I know how you all feel. In November I had a circle of best friends -6 of us. We would catch up at least once a month etc etc. I told them all I was pregnant in early January and since then have seen 1 of them. Not even so much as a text msg from the others.

    It's gotten me so depressed that I've considered talking to a professional about it but I now realize that it's a normal part of life. Just so sad that my bestie has been in my life for 12 yrs and now barely talks to me. I just hibernate at home and figure that I will join a mummy's group once bubs arrives. I guess that vision of your bestie being there and sitting on the couch with you watching movies on the odd Saturday night is really another Hollywood lie

  6. #25
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    Same thing has happened to us

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

  7. #26
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    I'm sorry that I don't have any advise for you but the same thing happened to me, I felt like a leaper to everyone that wasn't a granny. I just seen my 2 friends tonight and DS is 5 months. That's the first time in 4 months. My family don't even come around so much any more it's crazy. I really feel like they don't like me now. It can't be DS coz he hasn't done anything. He is a wonderful baby. I don't even talk about him because I figured that they didn't like me talking about him that's why they don't do anything with us any more. DH and I thought we'd have so many visitors that we stocked up on bickies and coffee and tea. I ended up polishing off a packet balling my eyes out cause I thought people hated me now.

    I don't get the people that get all snooty about it though when they have babies at the same time. That's kind of the course of life, you get married you have babies, or you have babies you get married or you just have babies. (not trying to offend anyone i know it doesn't work that sane for everyone) You don't do it to copy anyone. At least I don't think most people do it to copy anyone I think you do it more because it's a natural part of life.

    I don't think people hate me anymore either I just think they don't want to feel like they have to dote over DS like the oldies to. But I don't expect them to.

    I do wonder if i've ever made anyone feel like this and I hope not coz I love kids they are so fun to be around. I may have made one feel like this that I can think of but she hated being a mum and there were so many rules and she needed more attention than the baby and it drove me nuts coz we had so many arguments over me giving the child more attention than her. so I stopped seeing her as much as I used to coz I couldn't handle her anymore. I wonder if people can't handle me anymore, but I do make an effort not to talk about DS. Maybe they are just not ready to be around kids so much. The only people I see are mum friends and that's not a lot because everyone's busy with their bubs.

    Wow sorry that's so long with no real advise to offer

  8. #27
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    Dont worry you will meet new ones who are on the same boat as you. For me, I prefer one good quality friend rather than a bunch of pretenders.

    As for your son, he might prefer the above too for himself. My Dd1 is shy and prefer exclusive friends.

  9. #28
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    How do you meet new people at this age? Mind you I'm only 29. I honestly thought real friends world stick by you. I would have them forever. It still saddens me.

    I really must find a mums group for when bubs arrives in August. Are any of you guys in Adelaide?

  10. #29
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    wish there was atleast one happy post of someone who has had a friend stick by them through all and one their child come there still friends and what not but seems like it really is apart of life. (life is now officailly cruel) its sad that we all have to go through this and not have a friend we can vent to when we have a bad day or someone we can say hey wanna come over for coffee or set up a play group. its pretty sad how this has to happen but i guess it just proves we will make new friends one day and have to go through this sad/lonely part first. least by everyones post there strong women and are great and advice (even thoughs who think there not)

  11. #30
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    plus if anyone wants to chat to me please feel free to message me


 

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