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  1. #1
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    Default Why Is It When You Have A Baby You Lose Friends

    Why is it when you have a baby you lose most of your friends?
    im 24 i have a 14 month old and i use to have heaps of friends before i had my son. i had about 7-10 mates i would see on a weekly basis and prob 3 i would see on a daily basis. now i have none! not even 1 i could talk to about things i only have my fiance.
    when my son was first born about 3 came to the hospital to see me and bubs. i would ring them up weekly see if they watched to catch up even if it ment me catching a bus somewhere to see them and they would always have a excuse like "oh i have a cold and dont wanna get bubs sick" funny u dont sound sick and ur fb says ur out and about shopping. i feel very alone. i dont have adult conversation unless its when my fiance comes home from work. i tried mothers group but everyones back at work. i feel also like i have failed with my son cause whenever we make to 2 hour drive back to my parents house where my 3 nieces and 2 nephews live my son dont seem to like having other children around and dosent cope with them. i seriously dont know what to do and im completely lost. any advice is helpful. thank you.

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    I know how you feel. I had so many friends I socialised with but since DD they just ignore me now. So now Im determined to just find a few mummy friends and join a play group later. Maybe you could too? For your son... It'll be good for you too. Its hard to make new friends but it'll be worth it. Being treated the way I am now by my friends makes me realise I wasnt important to them. Cheer up. There are other people out there who are willing to be your friend I was told before I had DD by one of my 'friends' that they wished they had my life. Find a partner to settle down with. Have kids at a young age. Etcetc... Maybe thats the case for some of your friends? Hope I helped somehow.

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  3. #3
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    I hear that. DOnt worry though, you make new ones!!
    ive lost contact with a few of my pre-baby friends but i joined a playgroup, and now i have some wonderful 'mummy-friends'

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    Probably because people change after having babies.

    It sucks, but you're at different stages in your lives now. Before you were all at the same stage... but a baby changes that, because you now can't go out partying or even just be available at the drop of a hat because you have someone who is reliant on you to consider.

    This is annoying for childless people... they want you as you were, not faffing about with nappies and baby junk, or talking boring nonsense about motherhood (because to non-parents, it really can be that dull), etc.

    It's just how it is.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SassyMummy For This Useful Post:

    Becks23  (09-04-2012),Happy2be3  (10-04-2012)

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    Because there idea of a great weekend is getting rotten drunk and mine is like movies / music and dinner etc.


    I feel your pain op, I am also 24 and have no friends either.

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    Same happened to us, first at 15, second at 19, third at 23/4.
    People without kids just don't understand..

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    to everyone (including me)

    When i had my first DD (i was 21) , all of my childless friends lost interest in me too but i think it's just something that happens. I still haven't really got many friends & am always looking to make some other 'mummy' friends. My 'best' friend of 10 years, who i have grown apart a bit from over the last few years, has recently gone all cold on me for no reason that i can see.

    She has a DD who is a couple of months younger than my DD2 (we went through our pregnancies together, was great) & has recently found out she's expecting again ( iam due in a few weeks, she is due in Nov) but i found out through the grape vine 3 weeks after she told everyone else & i said to her 'we'll be having our babies in the same year again ' & she hung up on me, WTF ??

    So i figure i don't need that sort of thing in my life anyway, so haven't bothered contacting her again.

    Sorry for the novel lol i just think sometimes in life your just better off cutting your losses
    Last edited by loumia; 09-04-2012 at 16:52.

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    I'm not as close to all my old friends from high school - they are still going to the pub every night of the weekend etc where as I am pregnant with number 2.

    My advise is to find some mummy friends. I have a new circle of close friends, all with young children. We all understand the constraints of having children and help each other manage the children when we go out for dinner etc.

    It does suck, but like Sassymum said - it's just different life stages

  10. #9
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Quote Originally Posted by loumia View Post
    i said to her 'we'll be having our babies in the same year again ' & she hung up on me, WTF ??
    I know someone that's rather narcissistic and is completely convinced that the only reason that DH and I had a baby was because she and her DH were .
    If I'm honest it was a big part of the reason we didn't start ttc again earlier, because she's currently utd and would run around telling everyone that we were just having a baby because they are.
    Again.
    That's probably your 'friends' problem. She's probably focused on herself and cranky that you're 'stealing her thunder'. I say do what I did and ignore it. Get on with your own life. After all, if she IS cranky because you're having a baby at the same time as her she probably should get over it. There's millions of women pregnant at the same time as anyone else in the world. We aren't special and individual because someone else's genetic code me up with ours! Lol.

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  12. #10
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    Also, to the OP, I hope you find some new friends soon. It's very hard when you're the first out of your group of friends to have a baby because quite often people just straight out can't understand why things have changed.
    They expect you to just dump the baby on family and take off when you like.

    Damn shame when you can't do that because you don't have any family to do that with!


 

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