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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Lovegood View Post
    I really cant get over the double standards in here...by the standards in this thread if a woman came on to BH and said she had been drugged, raped and wished to terminate her pregnancy resulting from the rape, everyone would be supportive, give her virtual hugs, offer to talk if she needs it, and so on.

    However, if a man came on here, and had been raped and the rape resulted in a child and he was expressing his desires to terminate his responsibility to the child, we would be telling him to pay child support, and deal with it.

    How unfair. Just because female on male rape is less common doesn't mean it's not existent and the victims don't deserve equal rights.
    EXACTLY!!!

    As per usual the man has no choice despite being violated and a baby conceived against his wishes. It makes me sick that people have this opinion.

    I have a male friend that has been violated against his wishes when under the influence of alcohol, I would hate for him to then be financially responsible if it produced a child as I know he feels used and dirty enough as it is after this act that he felt forced into.

    Male rape may be rare, but it does exist! But attitudes like this is why it is hardly ever reported!

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  3. #112
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    We don't know its consensual do we? We don't know what was going on between them - neither of them are here discussing it.

  4. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetseven View Post
    I would feel much better if child support were paid to the baby and not the custodial parent. (I realise that it wouldn't have any real effect because the custodial parent would necessarily have access to the baby's funds, but it makes it much more tolerable for the payee where there is bad blood between the payer and payee.)

    But child support is not paid to the child, it is paid to the other parent. I can understand where there are many circumstances where there is a rift between the parents and this distinction just makes it worse.
    I don't see how that would be possible. I think this attitude is exactly WHY there is so much bad blood between payer and payee. Child support is paid in arrears for what the custodial parent has already spent on the child. I'll use my example, I now receive $100 per month. I can go and spend that on getting my hair done, buying a nice bottle of wine, whatever the heck I want because in that month I have already spent $400+ on OSHC, $200 on food, and so on. The "my money goes to him/her" is moot because it's merely a small reimbursement on what has already been spent on the child.

    I must say that while I'm horrified with the attitufes about this young boy, I don't think there's any double standard. I've been here a long time and have seen MANY threads about underage girls and older men and have seen even worse attitudes against these female underage children. Talk of what "type" of child she is etc.

    I think the grandparents in this case wanted custody, they should have proven they are willing to do the right thing and paid the pathetic amount. It would've cost them a lot more to have bub live with them. I don't know whether it's right that he should've been paying or not but if I were in a situation where I wanted my child but couldn't have him for the moment, I would be doing absolutely everything by the book to prove that I was above all the nonsense and genuinely wanted the best for the baby.

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  6. #114
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    She, an adult, knowingly had s3x with a child. There is no if, buts or maybes. That's the facts. This is statutory rape.

    I'm unsure what rights a raper has in regards to a child born by the rapee? I would say none? I would hope so anyway.

    So, that taken into account, custody should be taken off the perpetrator once found guilty. She is a sex offender - she had s3x with a child. The law says so. Like any woman who is raped, the victim should be given the option to have the child - sole custody. Not any of this child support bs. If, as is sometimes the case, the victim declines involvement, the baby in question should go into care until the offender is deemed rehabilitated or adopted out to a loving and caring family.

    I don't see any other legal way this could be handled?

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  8. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by GluttonForPunishment View Post
    She, an adult, knowingly had s3x with a child. There is no if, buts or maybes. That's the facts. This is statutory rape.

    I'm unsure what rights a raper has in regards to a child born by the rapee? I would say none? I would hope so anyway.

    So, that taken into account, custody should be taken off the perpetrator once found guilty. She is a sex offender - she had s3x with a child. The law says so. Like any woman who is raped, the victim should be given the option to have the child - sole custody. Not any of this child support bs. If, as is sometimes the case, the victim declines involvement, the baby in question should go into care until the offender is deemed rehabilitated or adopted out to a loving and caring family.

    I don't see any other legal way this could be handled?
    I agree. It's the only answer. An offender should not have custody.

  9. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    I do not believe a 19 year old is a child. Big difference in maturity between a 15 year old and a 19 year old.
    agreed. i was married at that age, and under ohioh law this woman could have been married 3 years by age 19.
    not a child at all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Lovegood View Post
    I really cant get over the double standards in here...by the standards in this thread if a woman came on to BH and said she had been drugged, raped and wished to terminate her pregnancy resulting from the rape, everyone would be supportive, give her virtual hugs, offer to talk if she needs it, and so on.

    However, if a man came on here, and had been raped and the rape resulted in a child and he was expressing his desires to terminate his responsibility to the child, we would be telling him to pay child support, and deal with it.

    How unfair. Just because female on male rape is less common doesn't mean it's not existent and the victims don't deserve equal rights.
    It's not the same. People aren't being harsh on the boy just because he is not a girl. The difference is consent. You can't compare a woman (or man) who is violently forced to have sex against her/his will with a 15 year old boy who had probable consensual sex with a girl just 4 years older. And yes I'm assuming the boy consented (practically although he can't legally) due to the language in the article, reference to statuatory rape, no mention if it being forced etc. You cant compare a violent non consensual act with a non violent consenual act.

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  12. #118
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    I'm feeling slightly uneasy with this woman being called a 'sex offender'.

    It kind of dilutes what a true sex offender is...

    Again - this is assuming WE don't know EXACTLY if the sex between the two people in question was mutually fun or even if they had developed a relationship and the two had an even or equal level of mental maturity?


    Do people think babies should be ripped away from their mothers if they have a criminal record and find themselves giving birth in jail - no, there are accomodating rehabilitation facilities out there.

    I can't remember where I read it or heard it, but there was an interview with a [now] married couple, they had sex when she was below legal age and he was just above it, the parents reported him and his name is now permanently on a 'sex offender' list that is up for public viewing. They get people driving by shouting abuse and threatening him all the time.

    I'm still struggling to base any decision on 'what should happen to the baby' soley on how it was conceived.

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    Quote Originally Posted by trishalishous View Post
    agreed. i was married at that age, and under ohioh law this woman could have been married 3 years by age 19.
    not a child at all.
    Is the legal drinking age in OHIO 21? If so that means if a person got married at 16, they couldn't drink alcohol for another 5 years.... That's absurd. You're either a responsible adult or your not. It seems to me that the laws are all screwed up. That the age of becoming an 'adult' changes depending on which lobby group is pushing a particular law. Eg mothers against drink drivers (MADD) are strong lobbyists behind the 21 year legal drinking age law. Allowing marriage at 16 is probably a hang up from the olden days whereas religious folks and others married of girls younger than 16 (eg 12 year old girls once they reach puberty). Considering society has NOT come up with a standard definition of when someone is an adult (with associated responsiblities) I can't see how we can condemn with 100% certainty a girl who falls smack in the middle of that 16-21 are-they-or aren't they an adult range...

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    ..Apparently in some states in America (Michigan I think) you can get a criminal record for being a 'sex offender' for swearing in public!

    There is no sexual element - but indecent behaviour still gets your name on the sex offenders list.


 

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