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  1. #1
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    Default Clingy 10 month old and childcare

    Hi everyone,

    My little girl is having a lot of trouble letting go of me at her new childcare centre. We have done about 3 orientations and I have tried to leave her there twice, but had to come and get her - the first time after half an hour and the second time after one hour, because she cried non-stop both times.

    Can anyone suggest ways to help her? We're going to do another week of orientation, in which I'm going to take her in every day, for as long as I can each time, but I'm starting to worry that she won't separate.

    Has anyone been through this? How long does the separation anxiety development phase last?

    I can't afford not to work (I don't think) and we can't afford to have a carer in our home, so we're a bit stuck. I'm expecting to return to work in around 3 weeks and don't have much flexibility. I'm starting to panic.

    All ideas would be appreciated.

    Thanks again

  2. #2
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    my boy started in jan and we were called back after an hour for the first few visits - i liked the fact that they called me back when he was unhappy. then we extended his days and there was always big tears at drop off, but spying on him at pickup he seemed settled. the carers would distract him with bubbles, balls and hugs when i left. they said he would still say "mama" and get distressed occasionally during the day but cuddles would settle it. We still get big tears at drop off 50% of the time (3 months in going two days a week)but i can hear that they stop as soon as i am out the door. Nowadays he does big tears even when i leave him with dad or his favourite grandparents so this happens even in non-daycare settings. But when i pick him up from daycare he is obviously happy and entertained and the carers say he is gong well. this week he saw me at pickup, came and gave me a hug and then ran off playing again and wasnt in the least bit interested in me or gong home - i had to laugh!!!!
    you feel terrible but they do get there, it is a big change for them & take heart from the fact that you can know your carers will always call you if he is distressed.
    Last edited by mum2one99; 07-04-2012 at 21:07. Reason: spelling

  3. #3
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    sorry, forgot to answer the main point!!! in terms of how to help her - quick confident goodbyes, always leaving her with a carer who is free to cuddle her, and something she loves like bubbles etc to distract her when she gets upset.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by mum2one99 View Post
    sorry, forgot to answer the main point!!! in terms of how to help her - quick confident goodbyes, always leaving her with a carer who is free to cuddle her, and something she loves like bubbles etc to distract her when she gets upset.
    Totally agree!! We started dd at daycare when she was 12 months and I started staying with her for as long as I could before I left. I think it only made it worse!! After few weeks I would make sure she was with a carer she knew to distract her, give her a kiss and say 'see you later' and walk out all within 5 mins. All up it took 4 months before she stopped crying when I left her and she even managed to wave and say bye bye to me! Of course this only lasted a few weeks and she has changed again and we are back to screaming when mummy leaves!
    It is such a hard thing to do but I'm sure he will get used to it eventually! Stay strong!!

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    Whoops I meant 'she' will get used to it! I got confused with the pp!!

  6. #6
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    Go to sleep with a favourite teddy so it smells like u by morning, leave it for her to snuggle up to when u leave.

    Make up a family album for her to look at when she is sad at daycare.

    Thinking of more things will get back to u.


 

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