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  1. #21
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    I am so sorry you are going through this.
    No decent woman would do something like this, but at the same time, no decent husband would, either.
    I don't think it sounds innocent, and in no way are you over reacting.

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  3. #22
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    Definitely need to sit him down again and make him realize how serious you are about his behavior. It's not just THIS woman he needs to realize, it's any woman he decides to have inappropriate friendships with and you will have none of it.

    My DF used to facebook and text random women in the Begining of our relationship, i know he never actually met any. There was loads of flirting but when she would suggest to meet up he would turn around n say nah god a gf. (lol I read them all). At the Begining he told me this girl was texting him flirting and he told me he told her that he had a gf etc but she would t leave him alone... But then it turned out he was letting it continue.

    I got upset, almost dumped him, sat him down and told him how I felt, how even though he hadn't actually done anything or met these women that he was infact still cheating and as if he was 'looking for someone else'. I gave him an 'out' but he chose to follow my restrictions. He told me that he was just bored and it was funny.

    I kept tabs on him from then on every now and then, he hasn't done it since I'm pretty sure of it and it's been 3 years since. Some men I think need a good wakeup call, others you can only do so much and never change like my friend's bf (always cheats, abusive but she keeps coming back). I hope he's the first.

    *hug*

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I think your problem is with your husband, not the other woman. He is the person who is married to you and should be respecting you and your relationship. This is the person you should be directing your anger and hurt toward.
    Thanks for that. Yes I agree also but I think only part of my problem is with my husband. After all it does take 2 to tango.

    After He walked away from me (his inital reaction to me admitting I had just called her) he came back into the house and apologised again for what he's done and that it'll never happen again. An error in judgement on his part, he says. As mentioned before I'd like to believe him but may need a bit of time to heal.

    All I can say about why I called her is that she has children also so she obviously was in some sort of relationship before. How would she feel if she was in my shoes? If her partner was at the beck and call of another woman. I wouldnt wish this feeling upon my worst enemy. So I simply told her that if she was a 'lady' she'd stop texting and calling a married man at all hours of the day and night. Im terrible with confrontations and would avoid them at all costs, but after (what my husband finally revealed) a few missed calls from her and a first text asking what he was doing... She sent the text that I mentioned before... "Snob! Lol <3" ... I took that last icon as a love-heart...and so I snapped. It just had to be said. And my husbands plan to cut ties with her completely was to ignore her calls/txts. It obviously didnt work as she texted him calling him a snob.

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by pipiemes View Post
    Thanks for that. Yes I agree also but I think only part of my problem is with my husband. After all it does take 2 to tango.

    After He walked away from me (his inital reaction to me admitting I had just called her) he came back into the house and apologised again for what he's done and that it'll never happen again. An error in judgement on his part, he says. As mentioned before I'd like to believe him but may need a bit of time to heal.

    All I can say about why I called her is that she has children also so she obviously was in some sort of relationship before. How would she feel if she was in my shoes? If her partner was at the beck and call of another woman. I wouldnt wish this feeling upon my worst enemy. So I simply told her that if she was a 'lady' she'd stop texting and calling a married man at all hours of the day and night. Im terrible with confrontations and would avoid them at all costs, but after (what my husband finally revealed) a few missed calls from her and a first text asking what he was doing... She sent the text that I mentioned before... "Snob! Lol <3" ... I took that last icon as a love-heart...and so I snapped. It just had to be said. And my husbands plan to cut ties with her completely was to ignore her calls/txts. It obviously didnt work as she texted him calling him a snob.
    I think you have every right to be angry. Its great that you've had more of a talk to your husband as well. This sort if thing would be totally gutting! Good to hear he was ignoring her calls and also for him to see how hurt you are. I think you're really brave for confronting it in the first place. Sorry if I seemed blunt, I just felt you should be angry at him rather than how you said you were worried about 'being in the s$hit' with him for making the phone call to her. There's only one person in the $hit. Take care if yourself and I hope it works out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pipiemes View Post
    Thanks so much for your replies. I keep breaking out into tears and have been constantly hiding from my kids when that happens. My eldest son (9yrs) noticed my eyes were red and knew that my "hayfever" excuse was getting a little too far fetched... I cant let him (or anyone I know personally) read this... Its too embarrassing. She even texted him saying "thanks for tonight... Im thinking of having a BBQ next week. You can bring your family"... ?? ... I did abit of stalking on facebook and found her page. After 4 kids I went from a sz 8 to a sz14 and I can barely find the time to make myself up... All of my effort goes into making my children look nicely dressed, neat, tidy, etc... So I havent really cared about my own appearance in a while... But seeing her pic on her profile made me think... She's a sz10 at least. Tall. Nicely done hair. Wears make up. The whole shebang... Im embarrased because she's prettier, skinnier and although is a mum of 2 kids, is single....

    Thanks again for your replies. I feel just that little bit better knowing that there are other people out there who now know what Im going through.

    Oh no don't ever think for one minute this is your fault, or that whatever you did or did not do is an excuse for your DH to do this to you

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  10. #26
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    WOW-----you are a really brave woman for ringing her and politely letting her know that she is out of line. I really admire you for having the courage to take proactive steps to sort things out. You should be really proud of yourself.

    As for your husband, he is not entirely innocent and time will tell if he plans on staying true to his word. I guess the only thing you can do is watch him closely and see if he changes any of his usual habits (ie: no longer leaving his phone unattended or going outside to take calls / texts etc).

    Good luck, I hope it all works out.

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    Good luck, hope he sticks to it!
    Last edited by Merlsy; 07-04-2012 at 22:56.

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    Couldn't read and not reply! Just wanted to say you are such a brave woman to confront her! I would have fallen to pieces!
    You have definitely done the right thing. Huge hugs to you- I hope you guys can work through this

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    Good on you for confronting that woman! I hope your husband knows how much it hurts you and puts effort in to healing your relationship & gaining your trust back.


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    Well done for being up front with him, and with her. The ball is now in his court to prove himself to you.

    Take care, I hope it all works out for you both

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