Am I just a loser or what...

[Bonkers]

sounds like my partner... but we have 2 toodlers. and when ever his home he trashes the house, dosnt clean up after him self, i always find his dirty socks everywhere, an when his home (his a furniture removilist so he dosnt always work) he puts the kids and my routine outa whack. he also thinks the kids (3 and 2) should be staying up till like 8pm, which i dont want, there only young so should have a prop bedtime, i did, and plus thats my time which he dosnt understand, he thinks my job is so easy, an when he comes home when the house isnt spottless he gets ****y and asks what iv been doing all day... i have to vacume like twice a day. grrrrrrr

[Amiedoll]

Most definitely not a loser My Hubby can be bit of a **** about this stuff sometimes too (especially when I'm not working, which I won't be when Bub is born), but he would never say anything so insensitive while I'm not well I'd be having a chat with him about this stuff, if I were you. Its not on to be treated like that and if he is not aware of how much that bothers you then it will more then likely happen again.

[roz2288]

Wow thats sounds exactly like me and my dh with the cleaning etc my dh is getting use to me say for the past 8 yrs if you don't like things the way I do it go and do it your self we are not maids I also have a son that goes to speech and ot and physio and have 2 other children so juggling everything isn't easy and I think men think what sahm's do is easy

[HugsBunny]

Are you a loser? Hell no!

Is HE a loser douche bag who thinks you're his personal maid? Hell yes!!!

Seriously, what's your address? The bub hub army is coming to knock some sense into him!!

[BlissedOut]

He sounds like a prick.

... and I'm a wife who likes to do things for my husband because he works hard, but if he ever criticized me for letting a few things go I'd be furious. I do them to ease his load and if my load is too much, I can't/won't. He appreciates that.

What a hypocrite he is, I'd feel taken for granted too.

[Keerah]

Can I come over and throttle him? Please?

Sounds extremely selfish and jaded to me. You are amazing, don't let him bring you down!

I agree with this. I dont have kids but I dont allow anyone to treat me like that, even when I wasnt working I wasnt a slave!!

An ex friend of mine had 2 kids, Oldest was 5 and their daughter was 2, they had newborn twins. The twins were in hospital till they were 5 weeks old (premmie and feeding issues with 1) But with them it was the other way around. The mother did nothing and she was very violent and abusive towards her hubby and wouldnt do anything for herself. She treated everyone like her slave, including me (that didnt last) Her hubby was miserable, I did stuff with the kids to take pressure off of him (he would have been happier if he had of been working but left his job because they lived remote and such) He didnt deserve that treatment, he stayed with her for the kids sake, which because of the fighting made the kids unhappy.

Went on a tangent there But what I am trying to say, is you dont deserve that. You have been through alot with the doslocation and then the c section and there is only so much one human being can do.

To me it sounds like you everything you physically can. He helped bring the kids into the world so he should help look after them.

Also the classic, if you make a mess you should clean it up!

*rant over now*

Huge giant hugs to you. You are doing fantastic!

[DueInAugust]

I agree with a lot of the things said.
My DH works hard and is lucky to have me to give him down time at the end of the day. He knows that if nothing has been done it's for a reason and he helps out sometimes (When I let him). But it was not always like that.

I agree with the strike. But I found I had to go further than that.
I had to go to my brothers wedding and was gone for just over a week out of the contry. I had DS with me but had left half-full washing baskets and a few thing I asked DH to do while I was gone.
DH has enough work clothes for 4 days so had to do his own washing and cook for himself also. I told him the house better be the way I left it, which was my usual clean were it has to be.
I got home to a cleaner house than I expected and a very happy to see me DH.

I also had a friend leave her DH with a list of what had to be done just for the 2kids. She was gone 5 hours. He changed his tune.

I do hope things have sorted out for you. It is hard to adjust to being a SAHM. I miss working sometimes just for the adult conversation!!!

[Caviar]

Oh I used to go out with the man you describe.
I got rid of him real quick.

You're not a loser.
You just have three kids, not two.