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  1. #1
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    Default Finding the right balance - work / at home

    So I've tried just about all of the combinations of the above - I was at home with DD until she was 14 months old, then I worked part-time, and now I work full time (with DD, now nearly 3 years old, in a fantastic daycare centre full-time).

    Long story short, I thought being in a full-time challenging job would suit me perfectly, but now I'm missing my daughter like crazy and wishing I could be at home with her more. The problem is, I earn more money than my DH, and we have about $8k in credit card debt that we're working really hard to chip away at. So I feel like I really have to work full-time for the financial security of my family (we're planning on trying for another bub later in the year, just to add more pressure there!). But I'm really itching to spend more time at home with DD.

    How do I work out the right balance that allows me to earn money to support my family without feeling like I'm missing out on spending time with my daughter?

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    Can you cut back on hours at all? I had a year off with dd and went back to work 6 months ago. I was very explicit with my hours and only agreed to 8:30-4 for 4 days. I pick her up at 4:20 and we have the whole afternoon to go to the park etc before dinner and bed. Dh and I did up a budget and before I agreed on my hours we came up with an amount of money we wanted to earn as a family that would cover bills/ food and fun!

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    Thanks for your post

    I could definitely cut back my hours, but I worry that it will push back our plans for the future (I desperately want to have another bub later this year, and like I said we've got a pretty big credit card debt hanging over our heads).

    I guess I'm struggling with whether I need to just suck it up for the good of my family and our future, or if that's putting money ahead of other things that are just as, if not more important (like spending time with my beautiful daughter). Grrrr so tough! Any other thoughts / experiences would be so appreciated, I feel a little lost.

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    For me, I let the resentment that I was not there to pick up DS (DP did) or drop him off so much so that it just became too much. That on top of management issues where I didn't feel my contribution was equal to that of my male colleagues was the icing on the cake.

    DS would get to the point where he would barricade the door and tell us we weren't allowed to go to work .. It killed me and I realised we could always earn money, but DS is only small for a small period of time.

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    Very true about them only being small for a short amount of time.
    Dh was working in the mines and quit to come back and earn half of what he was on there because he was missing out on dd growing up! Credit card debt is stressful- are you able to transfer it over to a lower interest personal loan or if you own a home put it onto your mortgage so there isn't that immediate stress to pay it off quickly? It's a difficult situation, I really hope you find the right balance soon!

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    I agree guys, DD will only be little for so long, and I can always earn money. I hate how much needing money can get in the way of things

    We've rolled a lot of our CC debt over to a 12 month interest free CC so we're not paying interest, but we definitely don't want to have another kid with that debt hanging over us so I feel a lot of pressure to work full time at least for another few months to get it right down. It's tough when every day at the moment I'm feeling guilty about DD being so tired from full time daycare, and also because I can tell she wishes she could spend more time with us

    Thanks for your understanding guys <3 It means a lot

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    can you cut back in any areas to get the debt paid off quicker?
    we rebudgeted and prefer to live on very little, and have loads of family time (but no holidays, we share a car, cook from scratch/grow our own food, rarely eat out etc)

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    I had to work full time for 3 years from when my ds was 1 til he was 4. It was hard, but it was necessary on a number of levels. I hated leaving my ds and at times the guilt was substantial, eventhough I enjoyed my job.

    Credit card debt is bad and it sounds like you *really* need to pay it off in those 12 months, cause if you don't you'll be up for HEAPS of interest. And if you're wanting another bub the last thing you want is this debt hanging over your heads.

    Personally I'd cut back as much as possible on your spending (make a budget & stick to it), work hard (full time) and pay off your credit card debt as quickly as you can. Once it's paid off then cut back your hours. You might need reduced hours when you're pregnant and you'll regret cutting back your hours now if it means you have to work full time when you're pregnant and needing to pay off debt & save for a bub.

  9. #9
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    maybe there are some things DD would enjoy doing with you that you could do to spend quality time with her?

    That old saying "Quality not quantity"?

    If working full time is your only soloution to $$ matters perhaps "special activities" after work or on the weekends could help you all feel closer

    Maybe a walk to the park for a bbq on the weekends
    Choosing a bed time story to read together before bed
    making a cubby and sleeping in it with her on the weekend or a tent in the yard
    movie nights with home made pizza (let her make her own topping)
    Making cakes on the weekend.


    I too work full time and find its the simple but loving activities that make us feel closer as a family, Its hard to find the time and the energy at times but well worth it to see your babies feeling happy, loved and valued


    I try to do all my jobs on a saturday, food shopping on a thursday night and then make sure sundays are free for my kids/family


 

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