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  1. #1
    earthfairy's Avatar
    earthfairy is offline Winner 2009 - Biggest Computer Nerd
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    Unhappy Having a bad mum moment.....

    DD2 is turning 1 in a couple of weeks & I have just started to look at making an owl cake for her (her nursery is in owl theme)

    We have just moved to Tassie for 12 months whilst DH completes a degree at Uni so we have no family nor friends here. It has hit me how depressing it is going to be.

    I feel like the worst mother. DD1 had this huge 1st birthday/naming day with about 30 people & a big deal was made. Now for DD2 we will have nothing like that for her because we are here.
    My mum is flying over from Adelaide for 2 weeks, so will be here for it, but I just feel sick!!! Now Im thinking, "why even bother going to this effort to make this beautiful cake, when there will be no one to share it with"

    I am now worried that DD2 will look back on photos when she is older & resent not having what her sister had. What do I do?

    I am so depressed right now

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    Oh earth fairy!
    I understand how you are feeling. Make the day as wonderful as you can. It doesn't have to be full of people. Have a cake and go somewhere special for the day like a zoo, aquarium, theme park? Make it as special as Dd1's just different

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  4. #3
    earthfairy's Avatar
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    Thank you! I know that this is what I should be doing & how I should be feeling... but all I feel is guilt. That blasted mothers guilt.

    I totally agree that 1st birthday's dont have to be huge & have heaps of people & hoo haa... it's just the comparison to DD1's that I worry about.

    I am still going to make the cake.... (good luck to me! never used fondant before!) and it could be a disaster......

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    I agree with the others. I think you will regret not making her the cake.

    Will you be returning home at all for a visit in the next few months? Perhaps you could do a belated birthday party with relatives/friends?

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    oh, you poor thing... we were faced with this with our DD2 who turns 1 in August, we were going to be moving 1000km away from everything and everyone we knew to a place where we knew no one, no family, no friends... i was depressed about not having a nice 1st birthday for DD2 that we vowed we would fly home for her birthday, LOL... thankfully, we are now not moving, so all is okay.

    i agree, her day can be just as special, just different, it will be just as special with you and your DH and DD1 and your mum, than with a lot of family and friends - i know how disappointed you must be though... don't be hard on yourself. its not often that you get to share your daughters 1st birthday with just her immediate family - take some really nice family shots and treasure her day, make her the owl cake, it will be amazing and you can make it really special and intimate. she will not hold it against you, i promise... chin up, you are not a bad mummy...

    ETA: i can promise you that DD2s first birthday is NOT going to be as 'dramatic' as DD1s was... it was huge, i was 10 weeks pregnant and I had 50 people in my backyard on the hottest day of the year! It was an amazing day though!
    Last edited by babylove81; 03-04-2012 at 15:30.

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    I think you should still make the cake! It sounds AWESOME!! I LOVE owls! I have a slight obsession at the moment

    I agree with a PP's suggestion of doing something special on the day like the zoo or something if it is a possibility? That way when you still look at photos of the day you are still doing something fun, even if there aren't a ton of people there.

    I honestly don't think it won't worry her when she's older. By the time she's old enough to understand the differences between DD1's birthday and hers she'll be probably old enough to understand that you had just moved and that's why. Plus, there are plenty of other birthdays to celebrate!
    Last edited by smallpotatoes; 03-04-2012 at 15:46. Reason: phrase something a bit better

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    your post just made me realise since moving from fam our ds2 will have nothing compared to ds1 first birthday weekend (2 parties one sat one sun, 20-30ppl at each, cake, jumping castle ect) now im worried too :s but I guess its not really a big deal right. Cant help it if you moved.

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    Hi earth fairy the cake sounds amazing! Go for it! Maybe with the leftover cake you could have a cake smash!? My friend had one for her girls 1st bday and they took photos (professional)which are gorgeous! The baby just gets sat in front of the cake and can smush it and make a huge mess! Its all on her face and shes having the time of her life! Then the photos of her birthday would be special and unique but different to your other child's. Just a little idea.... I wanted to do it for mine but DH didn't like the idea of cleaning it up hahaha
    I'm sure no matter what you decide it will be special xxxx

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    Please post a picture of your cake when it's done, it sounds amazing!!

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    I'm sure H will understand when she is older why P got a big 1st birthday party and she didn't. You can always throw her a biiig party next year to compensate?

    Either way, I'm sure you will find a way to make it unique and special- I love the ideas of some of the posters, eg zoo (wait- is there one is Tas? ) or cake smash. Maybe hiring a photographer and getting a family session done is just what you all need? How much more special could it be?


 

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