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  1. #1
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    Default *single parent thread* Why do people think it's fine to pry into your financials?

    Other single parents, do you find that since you've become a single parent people suddenly think it's fine to pry into hyour financial situation and constantly make comments like 'ow you can't afford this or that' or the like?

    When I was still with my ex no-one ever pried, but since I have become a single parent people, friends, family, even my exes family are constantly making comments about my financial situation and asking leading and even direct questions about what/if I receive government benefits etc etc. It drives me insane.

    As a matter of fact I had a fair amount of money saved up before I had DS, but either way it's none of their business - I often get the feeling people feel better about their own massive debts or something by prying into mine...

    Like friends I have who are always going on about an upcoming overseas holiday or renovations or new car etc etc. But I know they're just in debt, not rich! But I wouldn't dream of commenting 'ow you can't afford that you're not on any income and your husband couldn't be on more than $60k a year!' That would just be rude, right? So why do people assume they can pry into mine now just because I'm now single?? This has been going on since DS was born and I've only just now realised how annoying it is! Grrrr

    Rant over!

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    LivinOnAPrayer  (03-04-2012)

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    People are nosy always think they know best.

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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Solo mums are public property, especially if the recieve a pension...

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    Quote Originally Posted by AM View Post
    Solo mums are public property, especially if the recieve a pension...
    So it seems, but why is that? I mean, does it come from a place of genuine care & concern or does it come from a place of disrespect? I mean, at this point, I choose to be single (although I certainly didn't choose it to begin with as we planned our son), but it sure would make life easier in that respect and shut people up if I just settled for any guy who was interested.

    I think being a capable single parent is proof enough that we are quite capable of managing our own finances....

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    I think taxpayers just like to know how their dollars are being spent.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    So it seems, but why is that? I mean, does it come from a place of genuine care & concern or does it come from a place of disrespect? I mean, at this point, I choose to be single (although I certainly didn't choose it to begin with as we planned our son), but it sure would make life easier in that respect and shut people up if I just settled for any guy who was interested.

    I think being a capable single parent is proof enough that we are quite capable of managing our own finances....
    It comes from tax payers working to feed families and the government "letting" them sit at home. I think it's for all people on the dole not just pointed at single parents per say but if peoe need help what is the government to do?

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    http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/f...or-Single-Mums

    See rule number 11, also rules 25 - 27
    Last edited by shelle65; 03-04-2012 at 13:43.

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    Ow yes, the rules... silly me for questioning them

    But even couples get the FTB, CCB and CCR in most cases???

    I know a lot more coupled Mums who 'sit at home' than single Mums. All the single Mums have jobs!

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    Yeah, my mum does it too me all the time. It annoys me so much. If i pay something she always says, "but you've got no money"! How would she know? I don't tell her my every move. I do find though, that my friends do it out of concern. Like I pay $350 a week in rent, alone, and people do ask me how I can afford it. My answer is its a struggle every month but I don't have a choice. The only people who directly ask me if I get benefits etc are my other single mama friends, and thats mainly so we can make sure we are getting the right amount etc.

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    The same way when people talk about the amount of money stay at home single parents get they base it on full pps, full ftb and full rent assistance, then comment that child support and child care discounts are on top of it, yet when they have a partner who works, ftb, rent assistance, ccb and ccr are not counted, only the partner's income. No mention of ftb, rent assistance or ccb, and for partnered parents they are not called welfare, for single parents it all comes under welfare. For partnered parents their partner pays tax so they deserve, for single parents we don't, whether we work or not we will not be 'tax payers' so long as we are single parents. We cannot possibly be both!


 

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