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  1. #1
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    Default How do i help my wife?

    hello all,


    I am a husband of a newly pregnant goddess and i am hoping to get a little bit of advice from you wise ladies.


    I want to know how i can be a better husband as we have been fighting a lot lately. We live overseas for now (shortly to be returning home) but my wife has been experiencing lots of pain and nausea.

    As she has no close friends here all her complaining gets heaped on my shoulders. I can hardly touch her without being her pushing me away and it is starting to hurt me. It is hard to be doing all the housework and cooking so she can just relax only to have to face this as well. I am the only person close by exclusively devoted to her care but she forgets this sometimes and can be hurtful as she has no one else to unload on. I don't blame her for this.


    I realise i just need to harden up for now but i was wondering if there were any tips you can give to help her cope?


    thanks

  2. #2
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    You sound like you are doing an amazing job supporting her. Wish my dh was as devoted sometimes

    Nice warm baths and ginger nuts got me through the first trimester.

    Just reassure her that you are there for her and that you will get through it together.

  3. #3
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    You do sound a bit bitter about having to listen to her complaints and do all the housework/cooking etc... I hope you haven't let her know how bitter you are as it sounds like she's dealing with a lot right now and probably feels guilty about the pressure on you it's created as is.

    Is hiring a cleaner an option?

    I loved it when my DH would run me a bath and then after rub my legs after, tuck me into bed with a movie or my laptop and bring dinner to me.

    Spoil her and keep in mind she's hormonal and uncomfortable, it's not you, it's pregnancy making her crazy.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BlissedOut For This Useful Post:

    danielle13  (02-04-2012),Mysurprisebaby  (05-04-2012)

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    Validating how she is feeling, letting her know she is doing amazing job!
    Tell her that you admire how well she is coping in difficult circumstances, that you love her and rub her feet
    There was something I saw in a thread here recently that went something like.. 'the only thing worse than dealing with a pregnant woman is being a pregnant woman' - that's not word for word but you get the gist, when you're feeling down remind yourself of this
    Last edited by babyla; 02-04-2012 at 20:29.

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    danielle13  (02-04-2012)

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    Thanks Ladies,

    I have been doing all that but still am in the place i am now. As i said before, i think that i am doing all the right things and just need to harden up.

    BlissedOut has a point that I think feels a little guilty as I spend most of my time at home taking care of her when she thinks i should be going out. I tell her that i want to be at home for her as this is a special time in our relationship.

    I think the ginger idea is a good one to go with. I will stock up on tea and biscuits this afternoon and hope this helps her

    Thanks

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    I found in the early stage of pregnancy and being very nauseous if my husband touched me I felt like he was pestering me for s$x .... Totally not what I wanted at the time. Women in early pregnancy are emotional and erratic! We are coping with a little leech inside us sucking all the goodness into itself! we can't see things for what they are and are tired, scared, sick of being sick, excited, worried what type of mother will we be etc...

    You sound wonderful, just let her know you just want to support her however she wants!

    Congrats on your pregnancy!

  9. #7
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    Thanks Crunchie.

    This sounds exactly what i think she is going through.

    We thought we would be in for the long haul but we were pregnant in the first month so we are both grateful and need to focus on how lucky we are

    Cheers

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    For me, DH couldnt do much right..I was quite a hormonal cow at times Even though I was hormonal I appreciated every little thing he did even if I didnt show it. Im sure your wife does appreciate everything you are doing, sometimes its just hard to convey how you actually feel especially when you are drowning in pregnancy hormones! One thing that always put me in a great mood was DH talking about the baby and showing excitment towards the arrival and the names he liked. We also talked about how many bubbas we wanted and what sports they would play n all that kind of stuff. Basically just day dreaming together about how we wanted our life and what we wanted for our newest member It may seem airy fairy but the day dreaming got me through the tough times that pregnancy throws at you where you're constantly sick and tired. You sound like you're doing a wonderful job...maybe just a bit worn out? If so just relax with your wife wether it be on the bed or on the lounge and just talk, that way you are both chilling out...sometimes we pregnant ladies just need to vent because lets face it pregnancy is hard and it takes its toll emotionally and physically. Give her a massage and as a previous poster said..just reassure her that you are there for her Oh and you are doing a great job, its just one of those things you have to ride out

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    Thanks PL,


    Wifey was quite intent on researching names for a spell until i didn't want to bother until we found out the sex. I think this would help and will revisit it.


    Any other ideas like this?


    Cheers

  12. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by helpinghubby View Post
    Thanks PL,


    Wifey was quite intent on researching names for a spell until i didn't want to bother until we found out the sex. I think this would help and will revisit it.


    Any other ideas like this?


    Cheers
    The pram search! That is a great distraction!


 

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