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  1. #1
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    Default Helpful or meaningless drivel?

    This is gonna be a contentious one, if it even survives and is not removed LOL! I have at times been accused of being cynical, cold and heartless, and that is by my own mother! I prefer the term realist, but that is open to debate. My question is this. Whilst on BH I have noticed that some of the questions asked by other posters need some real answers. There are questions about miscarriages, still births, medical difficulties etc, some are in fact quite harrowing. However- when these questions are posted, I have noticed a lot of replies with a similar content, namely I have nothing to add to this conversation, I have never been in your situation, but hugs, or something similar. Now personally, I find this irritating. These people are asking for genuine advice, or experience from others in a similar situation, and instead get (maybe) meaningless platitudes, when advice is being desperately sought. I am all for being supportive to your fellow man, but should it not be appropriate, support, or am I just shriveled up and dead inside?!

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    Lol, we must both be shrivelled up and dead inside.

    If they're names I'm familiar with I might pop in and offer support without an answer if I don't have the answer, even if it serves to just bring the post back to the new posts page.

    Other than that I find pixilated hugs a bit weird, but I'm sure those who give them enjoy receiving them. It's just not for me.

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  4. #3
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Yes your shriveled up and dead inside

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    You can't win on bubhub, as if nobody replies the OP is liable to have a tantrum that x number of people have read by nobody has replied.

    I understand where you are coming from, as I'm a bit of a cold fish and always feel a bit insincere giving hugs online. But I think some people do appreciate knowing that people have read and acknowledged their question, even if they could not be of assistance.

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    Yay! So far one for one, glad I'm not quite so alone- hugs (hehehehehe!)

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    While I understand what you are saying I think that sometimes some hugs can go a long way even if you have no answer and don't know what to say.
    It shows people that someone has read what they have written and is thinking of them in their difficult time.
    It also bumps up the thread so hopefully someone in the know will have more information.

    Dont see what is so irritating about that.

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    Buttoneska  (02-04-2012),jacobsmamma  (02-04-2012),Mod-Degrassi  (02-04-2012),Rocky27  (02-04-2012),SuperGranny  (03-04-2012)

  11. #7
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    generally if a post has lots of responses and I don't have anything to offer I skip it.

    If its something really sad, heartbreaking or extremely personal/exposing - I will post my thoughts/best wishes.

    If very few ppl have replied, I always posts a reply.

    To me its just about compassion, someone has taken the time to post and if the 'right ppl' haven't seen it yet, then I see it as really sad that noone bothers to support the OP.

    Its like real life, I don't walk past ppl IRL and think I won't smile at them and not say hello becaue they probably know other ppl IRL who can have a 'real conversation' with them.

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    I'm 50/50 on the hugs. If I know the person (as well as I know anyone in cyber space) I'll sometimes hug. I'm not a touchy feely person and that includes Internet touching lol. But...now this is really cynical....sometimes if it's a juicy thread, I wonder if people just give hugs so they can subscribe to the thread. Now THAT'S dead inside lol.

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  15. #9
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    AB - juicy threads I just subscribe too using tools - no need to post.

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    Its helpful if that hug bumps the thread up so that others can see it who might have actual advice.

    i've seen plenty of people post upset that noone responded to their plea for help but there were lots of views. They felt ignored and embarrassed. So sometimes people post to offer mere support when they have nothng else they can give to at least save the OP from feeling shunned. Sometimes there is noone around who can truly help in a technical way.

    I guess this just demonstrates how different everyone is in internet land and you really can't please everyone. Its not wrong to not like cyberhugs and its not wrong to like them. Its just different. Its like how I'm not big on hugs in real life, but I get that others do like them. One of those things.

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