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  1. #1
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    Default Toddler Bully

    Was your toddler a bully? Are they still? Im scared that my 2.5 yr old will continue to hurt, frighten and intimidate other children despite our best efforts. He has been doing this for 18 months and we are at the point of seeing a psychologist to deal with it.

    Im interested to know about other parents experiences with aggressive toddlers (beyond the 'normal' squabbles and hitting etc).

    Our DS bullying is often unprovoked, purely because he feels like it and enjoys the fallout and drama when he makes someone cry/fall over etc. And please don't say its 'normal' or that 2 year olds can't be bullys, they can and I have one!

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    if it were mine...and the normal behaviour stuff wasn't working (time out, sitting on lap, missing out on an immediate treat). I would be looking to a child pysch for advice too.

    I had a foster daughter for a year and her behaviour was extreme. We got her at 2 and she had been through a lot...she was biting herself (and others) and tantrums like i had never seen and other behaviours that were outside my experience.

    I saw a child pysch and she met my DFD a few times and me seperately as well...it helped me so much!

    We came away with some methods of anger management i would have never thought of (punching a pillow, scrunching paper into balls, expressive yelling) and it really did change her behaviour.

    She went back to her mum (yay) and they still use the pillow drumming years later.

  3. #3
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    2 year olds are egocentric and are still learning the concepts of empathy and sympathy. Yes, they can very much enjoy getting dramatic reactions from other children by bullying them around. It's not so much a malice thing or an evil thing. They just arent thinking of the other child in a sympathetic way at all.

    Have a look at the whole situation. Make a big point of praising desireable behaviour. If you havent already, the next time he does it, dont talk to him, dont look at him, just sit him somewhere quiet then go make big deal out of the child who was hurt. If he has the language for it, ask him when he is in a good mood after an incident why he thinks he did it.
    Also, try giving him regular periods of 'heavy work'. This is things like jumping on a trampoline, digging in a sandpit and carrying buckets of sand around, rolling over the top of a really big ball or rolling the ball over the top of him. Even giving him really really big bear hugs. These sorts of things can help with childhood frustrtion and improve behaviour.
    Some suggestions anyway. It's a very tough thing to deal with so I really feel for you. If you are out of ideas completely then seeking help can be useful.


 

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