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  1. #1
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    Default How do you tell a parent about their child?

    Today I have my youngest sister (almost 10) and her best friend over for a play date while my Mum is at work.
    They usually play really well with my pair who are almost but my sisters friend A has been so nasty this morning! She has called them dumb and whingey and has been teasing them with toys. I don't want her in my house or making my DD's cry!
    They may be young and might not fully understand name calling but I am furious, I don't want them around negative crap.

    How can I bring this up with her mother? I definitely don't want her back at my house, in fact I want her to go home now but I'm supposed to be having her until this afternoon.
    How should I address this without causing offense?

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    Ahh kids...aren't they wonderful? Why don't you just separate them for a while? Have you told the 10 yr old that we don't call each other names in this house?

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    I think you should bring it up with the mum. Maybe give her a call now and ask what she'd like you to do in this situation?

    I agree with above, seperate the girls and explain that that behaviour is not acceptable in your house, that if they can't play nicely then they can't play at all.

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    I'd just tell her you find it too difficult to look after them. TBH they sound like completely normal 10 year olds. My DS has a friend over and boy do they bicker like an old married couple! I just discipline them (with her mum's permission) in the same way I discipline DS - separate them if need be and tell them we don't speak like that in this house. My DS has a bit of a problem with dibber dobbing, and his friend has a bit of a problem with being a tease. It's normal childhood behaviour so I'd just tell your mum you don't want to do it any more As for the namecalling etc I'm sure she already knows lol.

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    i'd tell the big girls to go outside and play for a little while and think about how they like to be spoken to.

    If after a few warnings it continues...i would call the mum and explain A is having a bit of a bad day today and is not playing nicely like she normally does. If you want her picked up, say so...if you want her mum to have a word with her and let you know what consequences should follow then say that.

    hug

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    Thanks for the advice guys, I'm used to 3 year olds not 10 year olds lol.
    She's usually a lovely girl so I'm really shocked at her behavior today.

    I might just send the older two outside to play and set something up inside for my DD's.
    I don't know if it's hormones making me overreact I just don't like name calling, especially in my house.
    If she keeps it up I will definitely be calling her Mum to pick her up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    i'd tell the big girls to go outside and play for a little while and think about how they like to be spoken to.

    If after a few warnings it continues...i would call the mum and explain A is having a bit of a bad day today and is not playing nicely like she normally does. If you want her picked up, say so...if you want her mum to have a word with her and let you know what consequences should follow then say that.

    hug
    Great advice thanks!

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    Have you spoken with this girl, you need to set boundaries for other children when they are at your house. Let them know what isn't exceptable.
    Do you know the mother well enough to talk to her without offending her?
    I tend not to have kids come over to play unless we are also friends with the parents. For example 2 of ds's friends that do come over to play, we know their parents well and I am able to tell them off and same applies when ds goes there to play.

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    I've met her mother a fair few times but not sure how to word it.

    I spoke to A and just said this is DD's house and it is not nice to call people names here because it upsets them.
    Now I'm worried I've upset her because she's gone really quiet!
    My sister is being well behaved and she never calls names.
    A has much older brothers so I'm not sure if it's normal in their household?

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    it's ok for her to go quiet, just means she is thinking about it.

    Just move on with the day and show her there are no hard feelings.

    10 year olds can be complex...and she might be used to being called names by her siblings...or she might just be having a bad day.

    I get them to help you make a yummy lunch and hope that the rest of the day is awesome.

    If it goes well from here, i prob would not even mention it to the mum...


 

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