Quick background: I've been separated from DS' so-called dad since he was one year old. In the 5 years we've been separated he has been in and out of his life, very rarely paid the pittance of CS I was entitled to, cancelled visitation we'd arranged with minutes notice (while I was at work), arranged to have DS on weekdays but not arranged child care causing me to be out of pocket on his behalf of $130 per week and he knew he had me in a spot because I had to pay for the child care or he'd pull the old "I can't take him today" and I'd have no care!
Anyhowsers, his dad is also a bit weird. Also, a very scary man. He's always been very deranged in the bedroom department but I thought he would be like other adults and hide this from children. I was mistaken.
When I broke up with him, he'd literally stalk new dates in an attempt to have them leave me or find something out about them so I'd leave them. He broke into my home and stole my photos and rifled through my belongings - underwear draws, food cupboards, everything. He also rocked up really drunk (drove over on a motorbike) and tried to push me into my bedroom until the point where I had to scream at the top of my lungs for my neighbour's help.
Eventually he got a new girlfriend and moved on. She helped a lot, actually made him want to see him but he still pulled the old "can't do today" games.
I tried mediation but he never showed up.
He had him every second weekend, although cancelled a lot. A lot of the time I'd go to pick him up only to find that he'd left DS with my parents the entire time because he was "busy".
Last year, DS went camping with his dad and came home and was acting strange, asking strange questions. I questioned his dad about this and he assured me he had just been picking up things from his young cousins who were there, too. He'd never picked up any of this behaviour from school and I wasn't happy about it but it made sense.
A few weeks later, XDP dropped DS off to my parents house and the first thing DS did was grab my mum between the legs. We were a bit and and DS continued to try it on at home. I was INCREDIBLY uncomfortable around him as he kept persisting despite us telling him it's so important he not touch people there nor let others touch him there.
Eventually I snapped and asked where on earth he picked it up. Of course he answered "that's what dad does to [his DP]". I was beyond angry so I sought counselling and the counsellor basically assured me that if DS continued that behaviour and did it at school, we'd have the police/docs knocking on our doors.
I told this to XDP and he spoke with his partner and he said he had to "support his partner and not see DS until we've been to mediation". I thought "whatever" as when I tried it he was too damn lazy to show up.
...will be back to continue. Workies.