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  1. #1
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    Default Is it normal to be this paranoid?

    My DD is 7 months old and the most precious and beautiful thing in the world! (All of us mums think that though )

    Lately though, especially at night, I keep lying there looking at her and getting worked up about the possibility of ever losing her or something bad happening to her.

    It's gotten to the point where I am comforted by the though that she doesn't sleep through the night, or sleep in her own cot/room so I am constantly aware of her. I like her sleeping next to me because I know she is right there, I hear every sound, feel every movement. I was sexually abused as a child so I think this might have something to do with it.

    I spoke to my friend and she said she experiences the same thing, that it's just a mother's curse to constantly worry about the safety of your children..

    I just love her so fiercely I think I would die if anything ever happened to her. But at the same time, I need to let her go a little bit as well. I won't be able to protect her from anything and everything, all I can do is my best. But there will always be external factors I can't control.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    I think that is pretty natural. I find things like that come in waves, I will think about all of my fears for her, especially in the quiet moments. Then one day you just become aware that you haven't given it much though for a while. If you start to notice that you are being overwhelmed by thoughts of something bad happening to her, that you are not enjoying her because of these fears and not participating in life as you normally would that you might want to talk to your gp.

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    I think that is pretty natural. I find things like that come in waves, I will think about all of my fears for her, especially in the quiet moments. Then one day you just become aware that you haven't given it much though for a while. If you start to notice that you are being overwhelmed by thoughts of something bad happening to her, that you are not enjoying her because of these fears and not participating in life as you normally would that you might want to talk to your gp.
    This

    I come from the same place as you OP and I'm comforted by having my children close to me at night too, I'll worry when they want me to leave but I can't until then whatever works!

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    I still wake and worry that I cant hear my almost 2yo over night

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    This is normal for me too!

    I no longer co sleep with any of my babies (the youngest 10 months) and am so paranoid that something "bad" may happen. Luckily, for me lately, the logical part of my brain is winning and feel I am getting better with my fears.

    If you feel it gets to much for you, please see someone. For so long I felt so drained physically, emotionally and mentally from my fears and wish I did something sooner.

    I also agree, that I think it's a mummy protection thing too and we all just have different degrees of dealing with the protection factor.


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    Yep i do this too... but not only with my dd and ds... but think about my dh, my family and friends... aargh.

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    Oh me too. In fact my oldest one is the worst cause he starts being without me, at school, at church group. It makes me utterly sick some days where I just want him to be back at home where I can constantly watch him. Plus the more kids I have I also started actually worrying like crazy about myself. The thought that sth might happen to me and dh would be alone with the kids or even worse sth would happen to dh and me, is just unbearable. I am a kind of worried person so everyone else might think I am sick lol. But if you have lost people in your life, especially out of the blue, it does make you paranoid. I also dont think it will ever go away. I will prob be the worst mil on earth!!

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    I'm like this too - even when my DD began sleeping through, I used to always wake up at 4am and sneak into her bedroom to check she was ok. I'd often wake her accidentally doing this - it was draining me and not good for DD either. Eventually, I had to say to myself that I had to trust she was ok - and I gradually started sleeping longer and longer at night. I still find it comforting if I do happen to wake up and I hear her moving around in her cot. I also get worried about what would happen to her if I died - and make sure DH knows my views on how I would raise her, schooling etc. I worry over who would be best to raise her if DH and I were both to die. I think it is a parent's instinct to worry like this though.

    If you feel like it is interfering with your day to day living and enjoyment of life, I'd go and see someone.

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    Definately like you OP. I used to have panic attacks when DP would take DD to the shops. After about 10 minutes I would lose my mind. Not about her being with him but the possibility of something, anything happening and never seeing her again.

    I have just had a beautiful DS, 2 weeks ago and am now a little worse. Although, I no longer have panic attacks if DP takes DD out. (she is 21 months)

    I agree that it is a mummy thing. DD has never had separation issues, only I suffer from that. I think mine comes from growing up with a mother that resented my siblings and I for "stealing" my dad's attention from her and never feeling good enough for her to love. I never want my babies to feel unloved.

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    DD is 7 and this never goes away for me!! I fret every single hour of the day, I worry constantly.


 

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