Yes, that's me.
Yes, that's me.
Yep, in most social situations I feel very much the same...
I am lucky to have a very select group of wonderful people who "get" me, and I would be the worlds biggest loner without them lol
Yep, always. I think im odd, I think no one can possibly think the things I do, see things the way I do..
I find it exhausting going out with 'friends' incase they realise how different I am...so I pretend to be like them, say things like they do, act like they do...
One little example...
Walking into a restaurant they are all giggling, turning round to laugh and chat to eachother even as they are walking through the doors...they carry on laughing and chatting and make their way to the bar area..
Me, im panicking as we near the restaurant, wondering if its busy, if we will have anywhere to sit. As we walk in I cant concentrate on anything other than scanning the room to see where we can sit, if there is enough room ,if I can get a chair with my back to a wall and how im supposed to make that happen without them knowing im making it happen on purpose..
Im already worrying about how we are going to split the bill, how im supposed to say the things on the menu I cant even read...the list goes on..
I worry that the waiter will think we are rude for giggling so loudly and tell the chefs to spit in my food...then I sit at the table and have imaginary fights with the chef once I find out...
Yep 100% me! I am so socially awkward and always come away analyzing everything I did/said and feel like a massive loser It's so draining.
I always have friends/acquaintances but seem to always be on the outer and just never quite fit in all the way - if that makes sense? It's like all my best friends always a friend who they're closer to, I'm never their best friend. I feel quite lonely and left out most of the time.
Wow. Now I sound so lame!
Not sure if that's what you meant OP, but if it is then you're definitely not alone.
Last edited by jade24; 31-03-2012 at 18:08.
Yes I feel exactly the same. I could have written your post word for word OP.
Yes same here all the time.
May be why i don't have any close friends hmmm.
Socially awkward. I like that term. That's me!
Its nice to know im not alone.
I have friends in my life whom i really really care about, but its difficult for me to not have panic attacks about hanging out, its like i put on this whole different face so i dont make it awkward. Afterwards im exhausted because i hafto be this version of myself that ive learnt to be in order to have friends, and its really hard to keep up.
Growing up when i would have sleepovers, by the next day i would become non verbal and when my friend left id feel so much relief. Like i just couldnt wait for them to leave...
I like the idea of being social, but making it happen is hard and terrifying at the same time, so i try to avoid it, even tho i really do care about the people in my life.
I totally understand that Diamond eyes i could have written that also it just feels so weird i am an odd ball in social situations an i am trying to get myself out of the house but it's so hard i become shy and don't talk.
I have had this all my life also.
I am exactly the same DE, everything you said - that's me
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