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  1. #1
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    Default 3yr ds still poos in his pants and refuses to poo on toilet

    Help! My 3 yr old ds still poos his pants EVERYDAY! Except at daycare he is 100% toilet trained! Whenever we tell our ds to use the toilet he does wee's only! He wears undies and never has an accident xcept when he poos his pants! We wait for cues and put him on the toilet with books and leave him be but he just won't go! Then we take him off and he poos his pants! It's so frustrating and its so hard to not get mad wen he does it! We have tried everything star charts rewards asking him to go sit on the toilet Half an hour after every meal etc NOTHING works! The other hard thing is that this child has no set pattern when he poos it is a different time each day for eg 3 days ago it was at bed time yesterday it was afternoon and today it was this morning! I feel like im failing as a parent because I don't know what to do anymore and he still poos his pants

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    Hi allycat, i know exactly how u feel my 3yr old was the exact same so we told him that we would buy him a big farm house if he poo'd in the toilet everyday i reminded him about the farm, then maybe a week or two later he said he wanted to go poo so i brought him to the toilet and we have never looked back since i did bring him over that day to the toy shop and he got his farm, u could also buy the toy first and leave it some were he can see it but not reach it and tel him when he does his poo in the toilet he can have it. Best of luck

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    This is really common in boys. I used to work at a kindergarten (Pre DD), and there were quite a few boys who would wee on a toilet with no problems, but couldn't figure out the whole poo thing. It was also fairly common for children to be better with toileting at Kinder than what they were at home. I can imagine it must be frustrating for you. I hope your DS gets there soon.

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    Hehehe. I'm just giggling as I remember this... my BIL used to give his DS 'poo treats'... a small lolly every time he did a poo on the toilet. Probably not for everyone, but it worked well for them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamma Duck View Post
    Hehehe. I'm just giggling as I remember this... my BIL used to give his DS 'poo treats'... a small lolly every time he did a poo on the toilet. Probably not for everyone, but it worked well for them.


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    You're certainly not failing as a parent! At three this is a perfectly normal thing to be going through.

    DS1 was the same; fully toilet trained in every other respect, but wouldn't poo on the potty or toilet.

    One night we were sitting watching TV, the potty right beside us. I saw he had started to poo, whipped off his pull-up and put him on his potty. He resisted, he cried, he so wanted to do it in his pull-up and I'm quite sure it was a comfort or security issue. But I pressed down on his shoulders until he was sat on the potty... and the poo came out. He was rewarded and regaled, he looked at his poo and flushed it down the toilet, and he never had a problem again. I think he was intimidated or frightened by the idea, and once he actually did it he realised it was ok.

    So maybe just keep that in mind; your son has the physical ability to control his poo, so in many respects he is trained, he just needs to be convinced that the potty or toilet is a comfortable and safe place for pooing .

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    ARG! I'm pulling my hair out over exactly the same thing. Our DS is happily wee trained, but WILL NOT POO!
    He holds it until we put his night nappy, and then 5-10 minutes later he's asking for a change because he's poo'd.

    It's driving me nuts, he's poo'd on the potty before no problems. The only thing I can put it down to is that we kind of hold him near it until we've wiped him down. I know I've had to literally grab him so he doesn't run off (leaving poo all over the house!) and perhaps he's percieved it as having done something wrong, even though we're very giving with the praise when he does it right.
    I was very calm about it when I grabbed him and even said "It's ok honey, just gotta wipe and you're done!".

    But it's the only thing I can think of, that he's worried that he'll get in trouble somehow.
    I'm going to have to try the poo treats I think, because DH has FAR less patience for it than me.

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    this is just what I've heard from rellies - boys have difficulty doing a poo in the toilet cos they cant see it! They can see themselves wee but cant see the poo. thats why they get frightened/scared/upset.

    girls find pooing ok cos they are used to not really seeing wees either.

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    Maybe try sitting him on the toilet with his nappy on every time he starts doing a poo or says he needs to, let him poo in the nappy but whilst sitting on the toilet and when hes finished take him off the.toilet tip the poo into the toilet bowl and talk to him about it, tell him your tipping his poo in the toilet because big boys do poos in the toilet let.him help you flush it saying' see poo goes in the toilet so we can flush it away. While hes on the tg oilet tell him how brave he is and that pooing on the toilet isnt something to be scared of

    Eventually after a few goes you should be able to convince him to take the nappy off mid poo so he actually does do it on the toilet, when he does give him praise and tell him how proud you are that hes a big boy

    This has worked for me a few times with daycare children in the past
    Hth
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    Last edited by babybumblebee; 30-05-2012 at 20:03.

  10. #10
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    My goddaughter has the same issue. Will only poo in her nappy. It's a security thing - when they poo to them it feels as though they're losing something inside them apparently, especially when they can hear it and feel it plop out!

    PPs nappy on toilet suggestion is slowing working for my goddaughter, I think beng able to see it being thrown away helps them realize it is just waste, not an important part of them.


 

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