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  1. #1
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    Default Problem falling asleep

    I have a 3yr old daughter, a 2yr old son and a 3mth old baby girl. HUsband is working and sometimes unable to make it home for bedtime. My current routine is 5pm - sit older 2 kids down in high chairs for dinner while I give the youngest a bath. Then pop her in her bouncer in front of the bathroom door while I give the older 2 a bath. By this time, it would be 7pm.Older 2 kids play for a bit while watching snippets of cartoons on tv while I feed the youngest her milk. At 7.30pm, I pop the older 2 into their sleeping bags. My 3yr old kisses me goodnight and then I lay her down in her cot in her own room.my youngest will have fallen asleep in her bouncer now so I pick her up, swaddle her and put her down in her cot. now my 2yr old still needs a bottle of milk every night. This is where my problem lies - I need to lay beside him outside of the cot and he needs to hold my hand while he drinks his milk.then when he is done, he will still hold my hand while he tosses around and plays in bed till he falls asleep. This takes close to about 1.5hrs every night. Thankfully, my baby seldom cries during this time and also my 3yr old is able to self soothe most nights by herself. I really need help because I need my 2yr old to be able to sleep by himself so that I can be available to the other kids in case they start to cry. I also would like to use this time to clean up. Since the kids take priority over everything else, dishes and laundry get piled up and I only get around to doing them after they have gone to bed. I even have given up on 'me' time. I just need him to fall asleep on his own. I've tried taking my hand away and he starts being panicky and holds it really tight. I can only let go when he is in very deep,sleep.

  2. #2
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    I can't offer any advice, sorry, as I'm also going through a similar thing with my 3yr old DD, although I don't have any other kids to look after as well yet (baby due in 5 wks!).

    My DD won't go to sleep unless she has my arm to rub - she doesn't seem to know how to self soothe. If she wakes in the night she comes into our bedroom and crawls up into bed with DH and I and grabs my arm, rubbing it and eventually goes back to sleep. In doing this she is keeping us awake a lot of the night as she wriggles and kicks and the moment we think she is asleep again and put her back in her room she wakes back up and we go through another hour or two of her grabbing and rubbing my arm. She also sucks her thumb a lot, but that doesn't seem enough for her to go off to sleep by herself.

    With another bub due soon I'd welcome any answers as to how to get her to self soothe herself to sleep in her own bed, in her own room. (sorry, I don't mean to hijack your thread!).

  3. #3
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    Would it work you having your older two on a large mattress in a spare room or your bed and put them both to sleep by themselves? They would have each other for company or at least you would be able to soothe them both. then you could transfer them to their cots later on.

    Another suggestion is to tell your son you'll be right back... and keep popping in every few min till he sleeps.... It might take a while tho. I saw another mum suggest the "kissing game" to get her child to sleep in another thread.
    http://www.babycentre.co.uk/toddler/...tandingsleep2/

  4. #4
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    It sounds like you have become your sons 'comforter' is there any chance he is really fond of something else that he can take to bed with him, and he can use that for comfort? If not, I would suggest maybe getting a blankie, and start holding his hand through the blankie IYKWIM, then when gets used to that, see if you can leave just the blankie??

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  6. #6
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    Thanks for your suggestions. I have read somewhere to put 5 things that he loves (and are soft enough not to hurt him) in his cot. And after some time, he will learn to comfort himself with these items rather than with me. SO I tried it out on Friday night. He decided to throw all 5 items out of his cot and scream his lungs out the moment I left the room. I had only managed to wash 1 dirty spoon when he started crying. And because the walls are paper thin in my house, there was a chance he would wake the others up. so I ran back in and surrendered to holding his hand again. Husband is starting his new job in a few months where he will have to travel interstate for work. This would mean I'm on my own. Yikes! We're flouting the idea of an au pair just to help me during bedtime. But I can handle the rest of the day and it sounds really silly just to get an au pair for bedtime. I will try the blankie idea. And the kissing game sounds really fun.

  7. #7
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    Chookfeed: I'm glad you're posting your worries here. At least I know I'm not alone. I met this insensitive woman today at the playground who, when heard of my problems, asked me why I didn't just have only 1 child so this wouldn't even be an issue. Grrrr.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinybubu View Post
    Chookfeed: I'm glad you're posting your worries here. At least I know I'm not alone. I met this insensitive woman today at the playground who, when heard of my problems, asked me why I didn't just have only 1 child so this wouldn't even be an issue. Grrrr.
    I can't believe someone would say something like that! I only have 1 child at the moment and am still having sleep problems with her, so her statement is rediculous. Some children just seem to sleep better than others. I'm hoping my new bub (due <5 wks) is a better sleeper and am going to implement different things this time to see if it helps. As for my 3 year old, I'll just persevere. I bought her a bedtime ladybird that projects stars onto the ceiling to see if that would work. It will stay in her bed and if she wakes through the night she can just turn it on. I still don't know how to get her to self-soothe herself to sleep in the first place. I might have to read the above suggestions.

    I hope you find something that helps you get some time and sanity back into your bedtime routines.

  9. #9
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    I've found 'mummy just has to do a wee/start the washing/get a drink' with a longer wait between returning (if dd is happy) to work. we cosleep, so she's near by to dh as well if needed.
    I also don't feed in bed anymore, we have bed boob on the couch, then dh carries her to bed. we nightweaned gently at 18 months.


 

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