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  1. #1
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    Default 12 month old with cot aversion?

    I am having serious sleep issues with dd (who is almost one! )
    She was a great sleeper until about 4months old. She has had her moments of sleeping through and she was a;lways great at putting herslef to sleep (I could put her in her cot and maybe pat her bum a few times and that would be it) and she would sometimes co sleep too when she was sick or teething.

    It got much worse lately. I think between me starting work part time, her starting day care and I broke my hand. For this reason she ended up in bed with me every night for about 6 weeks as it was much easier than going in her room, trying to get the side of the cot done and not bang her head on my cast etc. Anyway, she doesn't sleep much better in beside me. She's still up at least 6 times a night and I am absolutely, totally and utterly f#cked. Her sleep has been terrible for a while, but the co sleeping has made it worse. I have to get up for work at 6am and I have had a 'relapse' with my PND due to sheer exhauation as well as having recurring cold sores and the flu a couple of times.

    I have tried controlled crying which means she has gone to sleep but it doesn't stop the night waking. I spoke to a psychologist who said she probably has anxiety and an aversion to her cot. She recommended that I take her to see a perinatal psychologist and try make her cot a happy place because as soon as I go near the cot, dshe screams! (and get her out of co sleeping as it is making her anxiety worse).

    Any advice?

  2. #2
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    can you set the cot up as a side car to your bed? this can be a great transition from bedsharing to seperate sleep surfaces.

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    CakeyLoaf  (02-04-2012)

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    Oh poor you. Sounds like you have been having a pretty rough time lately.

    I agree with the previous post. Putting a cot next to your bed to start the transition back is a great idea. Considering you are finding it difficult to get the side of the cot down could you use a portacot until your arm is better and then swap it to the big cot.

    With you being so exhausted it is harder to get back into a good sleep pattern. Is there someone who can help you with the bed routine ( eg dinner bath book/song bed and then resettle)? If you are doing it on your own ( hat off to you if you are) could your mum or a friend come in for a few nights to help with bed time? Sometimes it's easier for someone who is not mum to do it.

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    CakeyLoaf  (02-04-2012)

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    Thanks ladies Tonight was really good (yay!) I gave her milk and put her into the cot while telling her a story in a really boring voice, she rolled around fro a while and I lay in the bed next to the cot and patted her and off she went. Hopefully a few nights of getting back in a rutine and she'll remmebr what to do. I'm really shocked that she didn't scream though when I put her in the cot? I think with it being in our room again and right next to our bed she's confused lol

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    Confused or comforted. Wow that's fantastic! Hopefully the good bedtime settling will continue.

  8. #6
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    Just subscribing so I can reply in the morning hugs to you Hun, I'm going through a similar thing but I had a break through tonight so I'll write it all down in the morning for you

  9. #7
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    My DD turned 1 today and she has never slept a full night in her cot with the drop side in - screams blue murder! In an effort to get her out of our bed we've gone down the side car route as PP mention and so far has been working a treat!

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    Bubbles10  (01-04-2012),CakeyLoaf  (02-04-2012)

  11. #8
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    Up until 5-6 mths DS was pretty good sleeper a large majority of the time he'd sleep through the night etc, however cause I was BF DH thought the bonding time for him and DS was to sit on the couch and pop a movie on and let DS fall asleep on him, I warned DH that it could lead to problems and it did. DS got so used to falling asleep on us that now during the night he needs me to pick him up and give him a cuddle so I took him off to sleep school in hope that he'd get into self settling again, things went from bad to worse, they used a parent contact approach so I was there pretty much the whole time DS was in his cot but he cried and cried and cried, he went well the first couple of days at home then he started to get clingy and would scream every time I went to pop him in his cot, he'd also grip on to me so tight it was like he was frightened , that was nearly three weeks ago and I have been making some progress , I decided if I could at least get back to what he was like before sleep school I'd be happy and well last night I managed to get him to sleep in his cot without any real fuss such a relief.

    Here's what I have done/doing
    *got a night light that changes colour in his room, he focuses on this instead of getting tense.
    *popped toys in his cot during the day however at that stage he was still so scared he cried and wanted nothing to do with them
    *started to sit in his room with him on my lap until he was 1/2 asleep and transferred him to the cot, this meant he was so tired that the tanty wasn't 1/2 as bad as what I was getting earlier.

    Last night he was 1/2 asleep and when I popped him in his cot he woke fully, I patted his bum etc, calm music playing (has had music since a month or two old) night light on etc, he did have a couple of crying sessions and at one stage he also stood up pointed at me and said "dad dad" in a very angry voice, this was then when I realized he has been playing us all along, I was going to pick him up if the crying continued but he showed me that it was all just a way of getting what he wanted. He woke once during the night and I did give him a cuddle but I will be soon faze that out also

    TBH I'm going to take the slow but surly approach, I will adjust the routing when I see he is more comfortable to deal with it eg placing him straight in his cot instead of the cuddle before bed etc.
    I hope this makes sense (spel??) still sleep deprived lol.
    I hope you get some rest soon.

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    CakeyLoaf  (02-04-2012)

  13. #9
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    Ah, just logged in and saw these replies lovelies. Clucky, that sounds so similar to what I'm going through. I known that she is ahving temper tantrums when she does it, I rang my mum while dh was settling her and she was laighing because DD was just sounding so defiant- she wasn't crying she was Pi55ed off! So far for me what's worked is to keep talking in a really low and boring voice. Unfortunately though the wee soul is teething too so she has been waking up in pain- I can see a new tooth poking through so hopefully it settles soon. I'm hoping that since the cast os off my arm I'll be far more able to do stuff and get her back in a bedtime routine.

    Thank you so much for all the feedback, I really appreciate it.


 

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