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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneDoe View Post
    I think you sound a bit strict routine wise TBH there's gotta be some balance!!

    If you can't 'break routine' for things like Birthdays, Easter, Christmas what can you compromise on?!!

    How will your kids ever learn to cope with change if they are so regimented in their routines?!

    Our school has school functions that go later than 5:30, our kids also play sport that goes late as well so no way would they be able to start a bedtime routine from 5:30 when sport or functions are still going then, all on school nights! Hell sometimes things finish after 7!!

    Your kids deserve a relationship with their grandparents so you need to find a solution that works for all!

    Why not take their PJs and bath and change them there and if it's an hour away I'm sure they can sleep in the car and you can put them straight to bed when you get home?
    I have to agree. DD has a very strict routine and has done for 2 years but now we always make allowances for special occasions and we sometimes let her stay up till 8 if we have a family/friends BBQ. She loves it and so do we!!

  2. #12
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    I understand that you want to stick to her routine but it all sounds a little over the top to me tbh. The time missed with their grandparents is so valuable its unfair to take that away from them. ds is in a strict routine, my parents come over and do bath time with him then sit and have a drink while i do story and put him to bed. I think its a little extreme to never have anyone over after this time. Mil and i don't get on 100% but we both put ourselves out for dh and ds sake, i love seeing how happy ds is when nanny visits! compromise is a magical thing in a relationship and it can mean the world to the other person.

    good luck

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2girls1boyplus1 View Post
    So instead you just won't see them unless it's a public holiday?

    That sounds harsh to me, perhaps you could invite them over or visit on friday nights or Saturday's?
    You sound like you want them to work around your preferred hours but you don't really sound like you care about working around theirs...
    They are only available sunday nights... they arent flexible with us. We are happy to have friday nights or saturday day and night, but no... only time they have is late sunday afternoon and night :-(

  5. #14
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    The thing is I am not harsh. I am against going out on a school night or having people over passed 5pm. Its a rule Ive lived with a s a child, and I think it is a good one. It is not my fault if they are only available those nights... why should I have to be flexible when they are not? We were free all day saturday and friday and saturday night, but it wasnt good enough for them... they wanted the SUNDAY night... they rang at 5 and said they can come for a few hours and celebrate my girls birthday and have dinner... I didnt have enough food, the house was a mess, and they were to arrive at 6.30 for dinner... I told them no... good thing too because my daughter passed out from being tired at 6pm. I cant keep her awake more than 14 hours... it isnt fair to her.

  6. #15
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    it does sound like they are being unfair...is there a reason that they can only do Sunday?

    As for the last minute inviting themselves over for dinner...that is rude imo!! If you want to celebrate someones birthday, you make plans in advance!

  7. #16
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    Pfft if it was Sunday Arvo or nothing I'd tell them to shove it. How rude!!

    I can understand where you are coming from.

  8. #17
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    Wow they didn't even see her on her birthday? If she had passed out at 6 couldn't they come over after that? My 3 kids live on the other side of the country to their grandparents and only see them a few times each year. It really breaks my heart for them as I grew up next door to mine and loved that I always had a very close relationship with them.

    Can you all sit down together and work this out? Maybe they need to realise your reasons so you can find another time. I also see you're pregnant with number 2 which is great, but I found once a second and third baby came along we definitely became a lot more flexible with our routines. Just something to think about.
    Last edited by Sonja; 02-04-2012 at 11:46.

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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    As for not wanting to celebrate Easter & Christmas with them because they're religious ... is that really what you are saying? If so, what harm does it really do for you to see the in-laws at Easter & Christmas?
    We dont celebrate Easter and Christmas... I dont want my daughter celebrating either, because if we don't believe in the day, then why should be celebrate? Why would I want my child to celebrate, or think she has to? Its quite silly. If she were older its a different matter, I can help her understand why they celebrate and then she can choose to celebrate if she wishes. I dont want to force religion on her by making her celebrate something we dont believe in.

    Thanks for your post though. Maybe I am too strict, but my father had the same rules, and its hard for me to see any different when I think they are fair. Its not that I am not flexible... I am. We are free Friday at 5pm to sunday at 5pm... How is that not being reasonable?

  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by tr1na View Post
    We dont celebrate Easter and Christmas... I dont want my daughter celebrating either, because if we don't believe in the day
    I don't believe in the religious side of Easter and Christmas but I love all the fun that comes with it, my DS loves Christmas an this year he will be old enough to understand Easter,
    For my it's all about the fun and get together with the family.

    As for routine my DS who is 2 has always had routine and does not like to very from it however when we have a special event he is so busy with everyone he does not notice he is past bed time the next day we just fall back into it as if nothing changed

  12. #20
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    I have 7 month old twins. I had to stop taking them out, and fitting around everyone else, as I couldn't get them into a sleep routine, so people come to us.

    I invite grandparents, aunts to come and do dinner, bath and story, I then put then to bed. Once every few weeks the routine is shot as we go out to family for dinner/ an occasion. They're put in their PJs and usually sleep on the way home. The girls went to bed at 9pm last night. It was a Nightmare! But I won't have them miss out.

    My SIL is always inviting us over to dinner when DH is away. I went the first few times, I get there at 5 for dinner at 6, like I'm told but dinner never starts until 7pm. And the girls are too big to share a ports cot now, and don't sleep in the pram. I won't put them to sleep on the floor. It's too difficult for them to come to us, they're teenaged and cone and go all evening due to work and commitments. Instead my SIl and niece come to me at their convenience. I get a text that morning. I rearrange everything if I can to accommodate, and try to every 2nd and 3rd time, I hate it, but they would never see them otherwise and that's not fair to DH.
    DH works away, and the girls always go to bed later when he's home as he wants cuddle time, so they always go down later, I restrict it but won't take that away from him.

    I dislike having people over in the evening, and DH's family always disrupt the routine, but we just can't be accommodated at others places at the moment in the evenings, and it's not fair for them to miss out.

    My and DH's family seem a little more accommodating then yours. Maybe once a fortnight thru come to you and a have a later night on Sunday. I'm sure it won't take long for your DD to learn a new special routine for this night.


 

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