Am I being silly?

[donniesweet]

From when I was about 3 months pregnant, DF and I have been regularly arguing. Mostly about tiny issues or sometimes unresolved issues.

It's been 4 months since I gave birth and my hormones are still flying high and we're still arguing except now it's a daily occurrence.

Our last argument was because I got upset at him as he spent an extra 3 hours on the computer, fb stalking the photos of other women when he knew I was waiting for him in bed. Am I being silly about this?

I am so lost and confused. I'm doing my very best to beat my depression and anxiety but he just doesn't see it. Our relationship is falling apart and I don't know how to fix it.

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[Babiesoneday]

Hard to say if youre being silly or not. Why did you wait for him for three hours? Dont be a doormat. Are you sure he really spent all that time looking at women on facebook or are you being irrational? Do you have any reason not to trust him or is your anxiety getting the best of you? Maybe you should ask yourself these questions.

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[donniesweet]

Hard to say if youre being silly or not. Why did you wait for him for three hours? Dont be a doormat. Are you sure he really spent all that time looking at women on facebook or are you being irrational? Do you have any reason not to trust him or is your anxiety getting the best of you? Maybe you should ask yourself these questions.

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I didn't necessarily wait for him. I fell asleep feeding DS and I was expecting DF to wake me up. He knew I was waiting for him. I am 90% sure that's what he did. It's a frequent occurrence. It's not that I don't want to trust him, but being such a young mum, I do get extraordinarily insecure, especially when he has a strong and long history of cheating in previous relationships. It doesn't have that I am fairly depressed and suffering from anxiety.

What's a better way for me to cope or manage emotions like these?

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[Babiesoneday]

I can sympathize. I was a young motger too. Married a2 18, dd 1 at 18 & ds 1 at 19. Im no longer in that marriage. I gave him eight years of my life but he never grew up. I left him five yrs ago. Hes still plyibg the same games, internet porn, cheating etc on the woman hes with now and has during their entire relationship. Im convinced some men never do grow up. Most do tho, but im a firm believer it isnt until they meet the woman they want to grow up for. Hopefully you are that woman. What I learned from my experience is that there is no wylay to earn trust or learn to trust. U eitger give your trust and risk gettinf hurt or you hold on to it. My best advice is to let go. Trust. If you get hurt, then its over(the shock of the pain, not necessarily the relationship) and you can go from there. Holding back on trusting him is not going to nake the pain any less severe if he does hurt u or let u down so stop sriving yourself crazy focusing on it. Depression and anxiety during and after a pregnancy can be very serious. Have u sought a drs care yet?

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[karisha]

I don't think your being irrational and would almost certainly be p'd if in your situation as well.
You need to stop and think - can WE fix this. A relationship works both ways and if you are doing all the giving, him the taking it will never work. Ask yourself - do I want to spend the REST of my life like this??? Bubs is too little for it to have an impact on them ATM but the older they grow the more it will affect them. Walking away is hard but some times necessary. Often it makes your other half realise what they face loosing and so fix their ways - of not then its not worth it. Good luck x

[waterlily]

Wow how rude and demeaning! How does he think that's okay? I'd have been furious. Quality time with DH and myself is a rarity do we cling to it!

I think you need to talk, also people are not mind readers, never assume he will do something, ask him to.

[Babiesoneday]

I agree w waterlily partially here. Men dont know anything! Him coming to bed may not have been as high on his priority list as urs. He may not have realized it was important to you. And dont jump to conclusions that you know what he was doing on the comp all that time. If u continue to assume he is doing that just bc he has in the past at times, all that proves is that u really r not trying to trust him

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