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  1. #11
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    She's so lucky to have you for a friend. IMO I think she is sooo tired that the thought of refusing to BF him overnight is simply too much to deal with. Especially if she has to work. But I do think that once the feeding has stopped overnight then he might sleep better. It also sounds as though he actually needs to have a feed to get back to sleep. Even if she could set up a phone interview with a sleep school, it might be all she needs to build up some courage to wean him off and re-teach him how to move into another sleep cycle. I really feel for her. My dad was a single parent of 3 kids. The youngest was 6 months and he said ithat being a parent with toddlers was the hardest thing he's ever done. But you get through it and you learn who your friends are real quick. Especially the ones who help out because they want to! Your friend sounds like me in a way. I'm always too scared to ask for help. But if you keep offering, I'm sure eventually she will accept your offers and get some much needed sleep! X

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

  3. #12
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    There is a lady called the baby calmer. She does Skype consultations and sounds like a very lovely lady. She has a Facebook page.

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

  5. #13
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    Thanks ladies. I managed to convince her to let me take both our sons to the park today. She had an interview in the morning and wanted to clean her house. I quickly installed her seat into my car and left.
    She said that "just an hour would be fine". Yet I took them to the park for an hour, then took them to Macca's for lunch and another hour of play.
    Her son didn't ask for her once. When we drove off, he was happily waving at his mum saying "Bye byeeeeee mummyyyyy" lol.
    I sometimes wonder who the one with this separation anxiety is
    I did send her some photos with my phone of the 2 boys having fun. She's a worrier and sends me messages every half hour to see if he's behaving well. She thinks he's going to act up around me, but he never does. Kids always behave worse with their parents than around other adults

    Now that she knows how quickly the car seat can be put into my car and how well behaved he is with me and DS, she might be more inclined now to ask me for help when she needs it.

    Majestic Hiss, I have been told about this lady before. Will look her up in the morning.

    Also, a video conference with a sleepschool might be a good idea too. If that is possible ofcourse. She doesn't want to travel all the way to Sydney if she doesn't have to. I guess its a last resort kind of thing.

    I do believe she is hesitant to wean him at night because it would mean even less sleep. Though it would be temporary. The thing is, he doesn't "feed" anymore. She has bugger all milk. Its purely a comfort thing.

  6. #14
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    I understand your friends anxiety regarding weening, Ds is 21 months also and I get a horrible nights sleep every night as hr wakes at least twice often more and on a bad night hourly and will only go back to sleep with milk or literally hours og crying / sooking / asking to nurse, in a way it is easier to nurse but he takes 20 - 40 minutes each session before he is asleep again

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    Misschief  (29-03-2012)

  8. #15
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    Nemmi, how are you going to attack this problem? Are you going to continue feeding him at night until he weans himself? Do you think he will wean before her turns 2?

  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misschief View Post
    Nemmi, how are you going to attack this problem? Are you going to continue feeding him at night until he weans himself? Do you think he will wean before her turns 2?

    I always planned on nursing Ds when he wanted but have reached a point where I realise he needs to stop nursing over night as it is bad for my health and well being

    For me now it's not about lack of sleep as factoring in the time I am up nursing i'm not getting anymore sleep, the thing for me is I hate it when he is crying for something I know I could easily provide him.

    Unless something radical happens I dont think he will stop at 2 as he's been nursing like this pretty much his entire life.

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  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nemmi View Post
    the thing for me is I hate it when he is crying for something I know I could easily provide him.
    Yes that would be heartbreaking
    On the other hand you know that he doesn't really "need" to feed anymore. Its not that beneficial for his health and wellbeing, than it was in the first 6 months of his life IYKWIM. Its mostly a comfort thing at this age.
    As long as he eats his veggies, meat and fruit and drinks enough cowsmilk, he shouldn't need the breast milk at night anymore. Maybe 2 feeds during the day until he's 2?
    So if he's crying his eyes out because he wants a feed, you at least dont need to feel guilty for malnourishing him.

    I have a friend who went shopping with me a few weeks ago. She has a 3.5 year old son and he's still breastfed 3 times a day. It was near lunchtime (BF time for her DS). We had both our sons sitting in trolleys.
    Suddenly I heard her say: "Stop that! Dont pull mummies shirt!" Followed by her son: "Booooobieeeeeee mummyyyyyy pleaseeeee!!!"
    She said she nearly died with embarrassment and really wants to wean him, but is just too scared that he will resent her for it and that it will damage their bond

    Im worried that my other friend is going the same way. Her son even runs upto me and her mum yelling "boobie boobie boobie!". This is quite hurtful for her to see, that her son goes to other women asking for boobie if she doesn't give it to him. So she just gives in. Its easier for now I guess, even though its mentally exhausting her and she's on the brink of a depression.

  11. #18
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    Yeah Ds has limits of a day ( I haven't fed in public in a long time and wont as he can have food / drink / cuddle etc) and only nursing when he wakes / goes to bed but night is very different and he just screams and screams of a night.

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