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  1. #11
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    firstly to steph. Just remember that your body is yours and no-one can make you do anything your not comfortable with.

    [text deleted by moderator]

    Steph, just take it one day at the time. Be good to yourself. You've already decided to keep the baby so take the necessary steps to ensure a healthy pregnancy and get good sleep (decisions always are easier when you have sleep). He's probably feeling 110 different emotions so I'd take what he says with a grain of salt over the next couple of months, and just give him space to ponder the situation. Its a tough one, but you'll be fine. And lastly, congratulations on your pregnancy
    Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 28-03-2012 at 19:47. Reason: response to deleted text

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I agree with AB and Madame Mayhem. His choice was whether to use contraception or not, it ended there.

    As the others say he might just be having a freak out and come around. If he doesn't and continues to act this way I'm guessing it wouldn't have been such a great relationship anyway - he sounds like an immature tosser. Lucky you found out early before you wasted a couple of years on him. At least this way you won't be mid-30s, single and wondering if you will ever get to be a mum!
    Exactly what I was going to say, if he's going to act like that then probably better you find out now.

    We've only been together 3 months on Sunday and I'm 10 weeks...so it does happen

  4. #13
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    Hi Steph

    If you feel in your heart you want to have your baby, have your baby, he will either be there or he wont, time will tell. Ive just been through a similar thing, I felt very guilty and alone at times while I was pregnant as fob put alot of pressure on me early on to abort, then as the pregnancy progressed he would swing from being excited to very cold about it, I figured that was probably fair enough it was such a stressful time for both of us. Give him some time but try to be at peace that the chances are you will be raising your child alone.
    Once my beautiful daughter was born all my feelings of guilt went out the window, I know I made the right decision to insist on giving this beautiful girl LIFE! She is the absolute joy of my life.

    Congratulations on your baby!

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  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephanieC View Post
    Hi my name is Steph. I have been seeing this 'great' guy for only just over 7 weeks now. We weren't using protection, we were both aware of what we were doing. I am 28 have never been pregnant and have always wondered whether I could even get pregnant. Well my q was answered about a week ago when 3 tests came back positive. Told the guy and he started treating me different and told me to get rid of it. We got along so well until we found out. Have had 2 blood tests and a scan to confirm I fell pregnant within the first 3 days of us having sex. I mean what are the chances- to be 28 and never pregnant. Anyway so I made him come to the scan and his eyes were glued to the monitor. Yet tonight he told me because I have decided to keep the baby we are no longer b/f and g/f and it's my fault that the relationship got ruined by the choice that I made. It's really hard- I live in a town where I know quite a few ppl and he is only new to here but has a job where I will be seeing him quite often. So anyway I have made the decision to keep it, but I can't help but feel sad that this relationship could have been something great and I am so worried that even though I have a supportive family and friends that I will always wonder. Btw- there has been nothing more in the world that I than a baby- so maybe I'm just sad by his reaction. Advice? Please
    He shouldn't make you feel guilty. He's old enough to know right from wrong and to know exactly what he's doing. Surely he knows where babies come from. I know you say that you've never been pregnant but if he really didn't want a baby, he should have been cautious.
    He shouldn't make you feel guilty for keeping *your* baby. If you feel that you want to be a mum and that you want to keep this baby, then so you should.
    If he isn't supportive now, he'll never be supportive.

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    [quote deleted by moderator]

    Exactly! And when I was in the exact predicament 8 years ago, a very wise counsellor said to me that the child does in fact win, they get to be born! How brilliant is that!!
    DS1 has the most amazing Dad now and he has just won an academic award! He's awesome.
    So glad I didn't let some loser guilt me into a procedure that would have haunted me for the rest of my life just because he couldn't hack his own consequences.
    It has not been an easy road that's for sure but I don't believe for a second that the child "doesn't win". Single mums are awesome and step dads are amazing!
    Congrats on your pregnancy and here's to another beautiful life being brought into this world.
    Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 28-03-2012 at 19:50. Reason: remove quote

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  9. #16
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    The moderators have deleted quite a number of posts from this thread.

    This is not a debate thread. Its not a thread to discuss anything other than to offer support and advice to a young woman who is in need of assistance.

    Any posts which are not supportive or helpful will be deleted.

    Come on guys. We are here to help people remember ....

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    once you hold your baby, nothing in the world will matter more then your beautiful angel. If he comes around, bonus. If not, his loss too. I take it he is a consenting adult. Even my 8 year old knows that when male sperm meets female egg, a baby grows in the mother. It's not rocket science, and abortion is not there as a get out of jail free card to pull out when things get tough.

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    I honestly think that a lot of guys just don't get it until the child is there in front of them.

    My DH, who is fantastic, has groaned when he has found out about most of our later bubs but has loved bub when it arrives and is a great dad. Guys don't always have a lot of imagination!

    Congratulations and look after yourself and bub.

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    It is absolutely your choice, legally and... well, logically. It's your body which is going to deal with this, and too often it's the man who just abandons the relationship and the child, leaving mum holding a baby... so you really do need to think of what YOU want here, not what he wants.

    Let's face it... he's shown you his true colours here. He's not been a man and gone, "you know what? I decided to not wear a condom, and it's no secret that a man doesn't get to make the decision to terminate or not... so I'll be there to support you with whatever you decide," rather than "wah wah, abort it... you're a horrible poo-poo face and I won't like you anymore if you're pregnant!" etc. He acted like a child (hence my paraphrasing of his reaction...), so you be the adult and make the decision you feel most comfortable with. You're going to have to live with this decision forever, so might as well make sure it's something you're content with, rather than making sure some guy you shagged for about 8 weeks is happy with it. You owe far more to yourself than to him!

    Good luck with whatever you choose, but make sure you're keeping yourself happy... not some dude who treated you like crap when he helped get you both into a tough situation.

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    Will you have much support around you? Do you have family or friends with bubs?


 

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