+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    77
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked
    21
    Reviews
    0

    Default keeping visitors AWAY!...how?

    What are your thought's on visitors after bub's arrival?

    Remembering back 12mths ago when our first DD was born, i was a bit of a mess. I suffered the "baby blues" on day 2 and did not want to face anyone and wanted only DH beside me and i begged and begged the nurses to let him stay o/night with me.
    It just so happened SIL wanted to see bub's on day 2 along with a whole bunch of other family members that same day! WELL.....
    Let's just say it did not go down well at all when DH called SIL and explained that i wasnt coping too well today and if we could possibly have her visit when we are home.

    She was ****sed off and said she had re-arranged all her plans to make this visit (we live 2hrs away from family) and that she didnt know when she would be free again to see her new niece. DH just apologised. I was FURIOUS WITH HER!

    My other SIL (younger than the bittch SIL) asked if we needed anything and was quite fine about seeing DD when we were ready.

    DH parents were suprised as they thought i was looking and doing fine. ( i put on a brave face for everyone and i just couldnt do it anymore) but were more than fine with it and visited just before they headed home 2 days later.

    So was my SIL out of line?

    I dont want a repeat with #2

    If we are lucky enough TTC #2, i have a firm belief that i DO NOT want visitors in that first week we are home from hosp. How do you go about telling this to people/family without sounding rude?

    I also want minimal visitors in hospital and dont want family making the 2hr trip untill i say it's ok.......is that just un heard of?

    How do i keep visitors away, without sounding like a rude hormonal maniac?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    3,521
    Thanks
    1,318
    Thanked
    1,574
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I myself won't have this problem as most of my family and friends live overseas. But I know you can tell the nurses that you are not up to visitors and tell your family that the hospital requests a phonecall prior to visits. I'm not sure about the home visits though. I'm a bit of a b$&@h when it comes to getting what I want so I would be honest. Tell them how you were feeling last time, how upset you were with their reactions to your request of no visitors and that this time you would appreciate not having any visitors until you've settled at home.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    518
    Thanks
    162
    Thanked
    65
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Unfortunately people will take things to personally sometimes.... What u did was on the money. its what's best for u not them... don't feel bad if they get their nose out of joint .... They have to be more understanding. GL

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,862
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked
    497
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Ferney View Post
    What are your thought's on visitors after bub's arrival?

    Remembering back 12mths ago when our first DD was born, i was a bit of a mess. I suffered the "baby blues" on day 2 and did not want to face anyone and wanted only DH beside me and i begged and begged the nurses to let him stay o/night with me.
    It just so happened SIL wanted to see bub's on day 2 along with a whole bunch of other family members that same day! WELL.....
    Let's just say it did not go down well at all when DH called SIL and explained that i wasnt coping too well today and if we could possibly have her visit when we are home.

    She was ****sed off and said she had re-arranged all her plans to make this visit (we live 2hrs away from family) and that she didnt know when she would be free again to see her new niece. DH just apologised. I was FURIOUS WITH HER!

    My other SIL (younger than the bittch SIL) asked if we needed anything and was quite fine about seeing DD when we were ready.

    DH parents were suprised as they thought i was looking and doing fine. ( i put on a brave face for everyone and i just couldnt do it anymore) but were more than fine with it and visited just before they headed home 2 days later.

    So was my SIL out of line?

    I dont want a repeat with #2

    If we are lucky enough TTC #2, i have a firm belief that i DO NOT want visitors in that first week we are home from hosp. How do you go about telling this to people/family without sounding rude?

    I also want minimal visitors in hospital and dont want family making the 2hr trip untill i say it's ok.......is that just un heard of?

    How do i keep visitors away, without sounding like a rude hormonal maniac?
    Yes SIL is out of line. You just gave birth - if you are feeling bloody terrible/overwhelmed/tired that's more than understandable.

    For what it's worth I was shattered and overwhelmed with my first - I was also in a lot of pain from bad tears and other stuff. I really struggled with the parade of people trying to be lovely and come and see me and the baby. I thought I'd have to set down a low key no visitors rule for my second, but after his birth I actually felt great and it was nice to have people drop by and celebrate. Hope you have a better time of it this time too.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    454
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    58
    Reviews
    0
    I would send a txt will all of the details of bub, and then would say.
    we will let you all know when we are up for visits.
    Us have a sign on your door saying please don't knock baby sleeping please txt. Then u can answer if u want or not


 

Similar Threads

  1. Visitors after you have a baby...
    By GlitterFarts in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 13-11-2012, 17:06
  2. do you like having visitors at your house?
    By Little Miss Muffet in forum General Chat
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 07-11-2012, 16:24
  3. Visitors
    By sunnyflower in forum General Chat
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 07-11-2012, 13:45

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Carmel's Beauty Secrets
7 Day Nail Growth Boosting Method Carmel's Beauty Secrets
The Nail Growth Boosting Method, will help transform your nails in just 7 days. You will also notice a big difference in their strength. It's so easy and only needs to be performed once a month.
Get your Nail Growth Boosting Method at the link below.
featured supporter
Baby Monitors
Looking to buy a baby monitor? :: Read viewer reviews of baby monitors BEFORE you buy :: Buy at a local or online Baby Nursery Shop
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!