I couldn't read without replying. Massive to you & thankyou for sharing your story. I also know the pain of m/c as i have had 2 early m/c (first pregnancy at 7 weeks & 4th pregnancy at 6 weeks, which i dealt with in private at home, never went to the doctor until after i'd stopped bleeding just to make sure i didn't need a D & C)
Please believe me when i say it does get easier but you never forget. It sounds like you have a lot of support which is great. There is a fantastic pregnancy loss support group on here as well if you need to talk to people who are going through/been through the same thing.
Don't give up hope & i'm sure you will get your bubba soon