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  1. #1
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    Default 1st posting and hate it!

    Hello, just wondering who else out there hasnt coped very well with there first posting? did you find it got easier? and who is still struggling? it is horrible we moved from amberly (where i lived my whole life with all my family and friends and everything i no and love) to richmond where i no noone but my monster in law.
    i feel sorry for my 2 yr old ds who left all of his friends as well. I am still learning where everything is and i am not the most confident driver so finding it hard to get the courage to go out. we moved in January and i havent even met 1 person yet we talk to the neighbours but thats about it. Dp hates it here as well so we are a family of unhappy at the moment. i no it is just something we have to do and will end up being a small part of our lives but atm it is horrible! i just want to go home i want my ds to socialize with children but we cant afford childcare and playgroups just arent my sort of thing.. being the new person to a group of people scares the crap out of me. anyway just thought i would see if its only me who isnt coping?
    2 of our friends have also been posted one to adelaide and one to wagga and both of the girls have moved back home with the kids cuz they hated it. i could never take my ds away from dp they both adore each other.
    well i am taking the time of having no friends to do anything with to exercise and get skinny again lol trying to see the positive cuz i hate being so negative at the moment its not healthy and who would want to be freinds with someone so negative!

  2. #2
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    The first posting is hard, but they all come with different challenges. Hang in there I agree with the other poster, try a defence playgroup, they are very different to other ones and it's a bunch of women in the same situation. Just remember though that you do need to put yourself out there. I was so shy when we had our first posting and spent ages alone, miserable till I got to the point of just saying bugger it all, went to playgroup and put myself out there. Terrifying but totally worth it. I've made some fabulous friends that I will call close friends for the rest of my life.
    Hang in there xx

  3. #3
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    I find the first 6-8 months are the hardest with every posting
    I also hate feeling like a sore thumb in new social situations. But you really need to push yourself a little and most of the time the other person will also be feeling the same. Remember that if you don't like one group just move on to the next till your comfortable. DCO are great for finding local contacts, Child health clinics and community/church run groups have been my main source of information since having kids. Previously I just got into work and made contacts that way.
    I also found planning trips/exploring around the area for DH's days off helped to make the places feel like home sooner.
    If you are really struggling DCO have social workers that you can chat too.

    Sent from my HTC Desire using BubHub

  4. #4
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with the posting . I'm in the minority - I don't see how it gets easier with every posting. I'm sorry if that sounds blunt but it's my honest opinion. At the end of the day, you are still living away from your loved ones and away from everything that is familiar to you.

    It's not exactly ideal to force yourself into social settings if you don't feel comfortable with it. I remember feeling exactly how you are describing after our first posting If you don't wish to go married/separated and don't feel comfortable with playgroups etc, then my suggestion would be to fly home as much as possible and ask family members to come and visit. Having family members visit me was the highlight of my life when we were posted to Sydney, it was enough to keep me going. I organised it so that after one family member left, there would only be a small space of time before another arrived.

    Many hugs

  5. #5
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    So sorry to hear that you are having a hard time of it. I am a shy person but decided to get out into a playgroup for my DS who was 6 months now turning 2 in June and a DD who is now 6 1/2 months. I started at the defence ones as they know what is happening as they have all been there. This was my first posting as well, and we moved 4000kms away so no family anywhere near me and had never been to the NT before so knew nothing about the area. Best thing is to have family come visit, when you can get out and about and see things. Talk to the health nurse that does they baby checks they can tell you of some friendly child safe places to go. If you make the effort to get out there it can get better it just takes a bit of time. Hope things get better for you soon. Just remember you are not alone as much as it may seem that way right now.

  6. #6
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    I hated my first posting too, it was 8 years ago & was the furthest from family we could get. It is so hard to adjust to the lifestyle & not having family & friends around, but it does get easier. Put yourself out there & go to a few playgroups, the first couple times Sux but once you feel comfortable & start to relax you'll attract new friends :0) try swim class for your bub, that helps too. Good luck luv, you won't know yourself in a couple years time :0)

  7. #7
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    Our Darwin posting is great for defence support :0))

  8. #8
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    Highly recommend reading the booklet that defence families get in the mail. Besides listing playground they also have other stuff like craft or cooking classes.

    We are moving from bris at the end of this year to either Syd or melb and I too am not looking forward to leaving family and friends. But such is our lot in life.

    Try a local park and you will probably see the same families every day/week. That's how I meet my mummy friends.


 

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