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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    I don't think SAHM's are the "gold standard". There is no such thing - its what works for each mother, child and family unit. I personally could not be a SAHM and I don't think this makes me a bad mother. Fortunately I don't think anybody in my life would ever think this, and I know my DH doesn't. I am sure my kids won't either!
    Sorry I didn't mean that how it sounded. Broadly I think research suggests for the first 2 years a full time parent is optimal. But Every family is different and that research may be out of date. It totally depends on the family and the quality of childcare. There should be rebates for grandparents! Right this minute I'm about bronze standard as here I am typing on this site while my son is watching tv and the house is a mess. I guess it just feels like working mothers are more valued so I went a bit too much on the defensive. Can I blame pmt?

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I think people have misinterpreted my OP. I'm not opposed to rebates or subsidized nannies I just feel it's one sided. The focus is on keeping/getting mothers into the workforce with the implication that this is the best thing for families. I'm not up to date on research but my understanding is for young children number 1 is full time parent/ grandparent. 2 nanny. 3 good quality childcare. Rebates are good no doubt, but why does all the focus have to be on this apparent goal of dual income families? There should at least be some proper tax breaks for families on one income. It should be about choice but is it? A childcare worker can go to work and use the rebate to pay another childcare worker to look after their child. If they love their job that's fine but how many mums are doing jobs they hate? Or working full time juggling childcare because they can't get a decent part time job? Most families do need two incomes and the rebates are great. I would just like to see some help offered to families who want to manage on one income and for mums who want to return to work after taking years off to raise kids. And honestly with all the talk of getting mothers back to work I feel like I'm being pulled to the new social norm that I don't believe is best for kids.
    I disagree that the implication is that working mums is the best thing. The implication of the rebates is that some mums must work to support their family. And some want to work. But the costs of child care make that hard or impossible. I know I've applied for part time jobs only to discover that after childcare fees I'd be working for very lttle and withdrawn.

    Its about removing obstacles that parents face when trying to work with young children. It is not a commentary on what's better. Its all about improving access to work as a pathway to equality. In the past mums have had no choice but to stay home. Rebates give us more choice. That's a good thing.

    They're not saying everyone should work. They're saying if you want to work we will make that easier because its a matter of equality that everyone has the opportunity to earn a living and support themselves.

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  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I started this thread and apologize that it's been misinterpreted. I have nothing against working mums most of my friends are, I hope to get back into work myself. But after 6 years out of work raising my kids it's going to be hard. If there were more financial incentives to mothers to stay home with children maybe more could actually have a choice. I totally support rebates and help for working mums but when was the last time you heard a politician say anything positive about women who put careers on hold to care for their babies? i would just like to see the govt support families and help them to actually have choices. Some mums work out of financial necessity some for their own sanity. It's clear from this thread not every mum is working by choice. I know i am extremely lucky that I don't have to work, i don't think any working mum should feel guilty. But, if the govt really has children's best interest at heart they should help other families who would like to have a SAHM. In addition to helping out working mums. I don't know that many families who feel they have a choice. sorry for rambling I guess I'd like to see alongside improvements to childcare and financial help, some help for SAHM's or families who would like one parent to be home, but can't afford to. Baby bonus doesn't go very far. PPL is only for working parents. Flexible working is only for people who have jobs. I'd just like to see a bit of balance.
    I totally agree that there should be balance... I think that mums that are home with their kids are doing an amazing thing. Just the whole thread comes off as being very anti working mums, when I don't know that many working mums that actually choose to do so. Most of the time it's out of necessity and in no way is it an easy choice! There's already so much guilt without being made to feel guilty by other mums.

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    And OP if you're feeling undervalued. I do agree that it can seem like staying home is not valued. But I find it helps to remind myself that I'm not doing this to get society's approval. I'm doing it because it works for me and my family for now and that's what matters.

    Plus, we do get assistance too. We can get child care rebates too for up to 24 hrs a week, and we get FTB.

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    I think its great. Means there will also be more jobs for nannies, ive been wanting this for years!

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  9. #56
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    Yeah, I'm not understanding the arguing going on in here either. I could be either a SAHM or working mum depending on how much childcare is going to cost for 2 kids once #2 is born. I don't choose one or the other to suit the care of my kids. I'll be doing which ever costs me less so we can live. At this stage I can clear more money than it costs for daycare so I'll continue to work. But if with 2 in childcare I break even there is no point me working to send my kids to childcare when it'll cost the same to have them home with me. I actually enjoy working, but also enjoy being home with my DS. So doesn't bother me which I do, but as I only get basic assistance from the government I'll probably be a SAHM soon.

    Also my sister is a nanny and earns about $20+ an hour (not sure how much exactly), and most days working 8-10 hours, so although it costs the family maybe $160-$250 a day she doesn't have that much after she has taken her tax and super out.
    I'd love to pay her to watch my DS but I'd say a nanny is a luxury, even with a rebate I don't think I could afford it.
    And I don't think there could be much nanny work off the books, as the amounts they earn would be too hard to hide. Plus they have to pay their own super so the only way to have that is to declare their income, and also pay tax.
    All arguments aside, I think we all do the best job we can with what we're provided in each individual situation so should all be just giving hugs and cuddles instead of judgments

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    I think ppl have taken the OP out of context. The post is all for working mums and the benefits they receive. It's just broaching the topic that if we choose to stay at home maybe some more help is needed to be able to create a balance. Yes I get FTB and we don't live like kings either and if I returned to work we would still struggle would work out the same if I stayed at home. Think it's great that working mums are offered all these benefits but maybe the government needs to look at the cost of living itself. It's a sad state that 2 parents have to work because they can't afford not too. Fuel costs ,housing prices ,electricity ,gas other utilities, food costs are all rising and our wages stay the same how can this be.

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  12. #58
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    I've been sahm, dh is now sahd. Financially it cost us less that way. I've loved being a working mum AND a sahm. I think the first 2 years at home with ds ee the perfect length for me

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    I don't see the issue personally. The needs of a working mum and a stay at home mum are totally different. Presumably you don't stay at home intentionally (unless you are job seeking) if you can't afford it.. And it doesn't come with any additional costs. Where as the choice or need to work comes with a HUGE cost in childcare.. And if there were no rebates.. Only very highly paid women would be able to work. Which isn't very beneficial. I'm not sure if people are arguing that stay at home mums should be paid more to stay home? I think something like longer maternity leave as they have in other countries would be great, so that all women could more easily make the choice to stay home for a few years. But perhaps the government doesn't want to encourage that, because they are worried that too few women would return to the work force and gaps would be left? I dunno, just guessing

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    I think it's a good thing, ESP for families like mine where we are both shift workers and may need out of hours care from time time. I hope it gets through, my boss is a Mum, and so is her boss, and that has made it much easier for me, they understand the challenges of being a working Mum.


 

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