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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Default vent - so annoyed at my sister for breaking my trust!

    Ahh I'm so annoyed at her right now. I'm 8wks pregnant and have told her everything, we are generally pretty close and tell each other everything. She is single and has a few challenges in her life, mental illness and depression kinda stuff. I share as much of my life and pregnancy because it makes her happy. She sent me a sms saying 'this is so exciting for us.' So I try to keep her involved, but there is stuff I have asked her not to tell especially to my dad who is a control freak.In particular in relation to finances, dh and I aren't rich but get by. My dad is worried about us paying our bills and will no doubt get involved and try to buy llots of stuff, pay our mortgage etc. Which is nice but complicated and a massive head f.uck that we would rather avoid. He has already started on about it.My boss has offered to pay our childcare fees but dh and I do not want to put our kid in childcare at 6mths so we are looking at every option to avoid it, but do have it as backup in case there is no other option.Anyway, I told my sister and told her nit to tell dad. Of course dad winges to her about us being poor and she tells him to stop stressing because my boss is paying childcare.Dad rang me and told me and said how great it was and all that. I didn't say much, just we weren't sure and didn't really know about childcare etc. And its a long time away. Dad went on and on about childcare being fine and money is most important and kids r fine as long as they have stable roof.I have major, major issues from ky childhood that I have worked through but my dad failed me in so so many ways. Basically I will parent by doing the opposite of what he did.Anyway, now if we chose to not take up offer I will never ever hear the end of it. Ultimately its our decision for our New family and nothing to do with dad, but man I'm annoyed at my sister for opening her big mouth.She also told mutual friends I'm pregnant when I haven't told them yet.I was planning on finding out sex and telling my sisters only, but I just don't know if I cantrust her not to blab. But I feel guilty for excluding her from this time that is special to her. She said she may never have kids and my other sister had her kids overseas so this is like her pregnancy too. I would love to share everything with ger, she a midwife and mchn and being such a support but she just can't keep a secret!What would u do if u were me?

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    That sucks, it's not her news to tell, it's yours!

    FOB's sister did a similar thing to us when pregnant with DD, we were so upset that she took the excitement of sharing our news away from us.

    Have you told her how upset you are? If she sees it as "her" pregnancy as well, maybe she is kind of confused about what is appropriate and what is inappropriate for her to do/say? Perhaps a gentle reminder might help.

    If you definitely think she can't be trusted, maybe tell her things first but then tell everyone else straight away after so that she doesn't have a chance to share?


 

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