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  1. #171
    rainbow road's Avatar
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I'm neither arrogant nor ignorant, thanks.

    I still don't believe the majority of homosexuals choose to be homosexual, nor do I think the majority of heterosexuals choose to be heterosexual.

    I think people who believe this are kidding themselves.

    Sure, some people do make a choice to end or enter *a relationship* based on personal opinion or expectation regarding their sexuality, but I don't think they choose their sexuality.

    I could choose to marry a man tomorrow but in my own opinion, I'd still be gay; if I'd chosen to marry a man though, society would perceive me as straight.

    Of course there are exceptions to every rule.

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  3. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I'm neither arrogant nor ignorant, thanks.

    I still don't believe the majority of homosexuals choose to be homosexual, nor do I think the majority of heterosexuals choose to be heterosexual.

    I think people who believe this are kidding themselves.

    Sure, some people do make a choice to end or enter *a relationship* based on personal opinion or expectation regarding their sexuality, but I don't think they choose their sexuality.

    I could choose to marry a man tomorrow but in my own opinion, I'd still be gay; if I'd chosen to marry a man though, society would perceive me as straight.

    Of course there are exceptions to every rule.
    I think you're one of the least arrogant/ignorant people ever 😃😃

    I can honestly say I've never entertained the idea of being with a man. I never chose it, I have just never been attracted to the opposite sex.
    I hate that I get discriminate against because of the way I was born...

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    I think that's more choosing to have a hetro relationship but still being gay inside? don't want to speak for you, just how I read it caviar?

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  7. #174
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    I'm thinking that perhaps it is possible to authentically choose between a heterosexual or homosexual lifestyle for those who are bisexual. Anyone who is hetero or gay can not choose to change their sexuality. They may inhibit their sexuality and conceal this aspect of their identity to conform to what they are led to believe is more acceptable. Unfortunately, this is why the rate of mental health problems and suicide is so devastatingly high within the gay community, especially among gay kids and youth.

    And any attitudes that perpetuate this lack of acceptance and equality, and consequent pressure to conform to a heterosexual lifestyle (eg opposition to gay marriage), are also contributing factors. Something to think about.

  8. #175
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    I could choose to date a woman now... but that doesn't change that I find men more sexually appealing to me, and that I have no actual desire to be with a woman. If society told me that being with women was more acceptable than to be with a man though, I could go date a woman, marry a woman and live my life with a woman.

    Homosexual people have done this for years... living a straight life. It doesn't make them straight though. Dating someone of the opposite sex is a choice, not their actual sexuality though.

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    I believe that a majority are born heterosexual and become homosexual somewhere along the way. I don't believe that being homosexual is genetic and I believe being gay is a choice in most cases and is due to psycho socialogical factors with the exception of hermaphrodites, totally different story altogether there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Caviar View Post
    I was 15. I was madly in love with her and everything then made sense. I had the option to continue a life with her but I chose heterosexuality because I stood by some life choices I had made. While I did consider the gay angle, I didn't see myself in that lifestyle and spent a few years on my own working that out.

    I'm not sure why anyone would think that this notion is ridiculous other than their arrogance and/or ignorance demands that such a notion be immovable as concrete. Life's not always like that. Lots of people make such choices throughout their lives - either from gay to straight or in the reverse.

    You need to get out more luv
    Wow harsh?
    You don't decide to be gay or straight, you dont decide that atraction, you decided that the same gender atraction you felt did not fit with your lifestyle but you still had that atraction no? do you now say you would never ever feel atracted in that way to a member of the same sex ever again?

    I dont quite know what you mean as the "gay angle" a persons sexuality has no angle or spin to it it is simply a part of themselves,

    I do not choose to be physically atracted to whom I am atracted to I do however choose my partner whom I fell in love with and to the rest of society as a result am viewed as heterosexual but to me it would not have mattered what was between his or her legs.

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  12. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I believe that a majority are born heterosexual and become homosexual somewhere along the way. I don't believe that being homosexual is genetic and I believe being gay is a choice in most cases and is due to psycho socialogical factors with the exception of hermaphrodites, totally different story altogether there.

    *intersexed not hermaphrodite ... that one word shows your knowledge of intersexed peoples.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I believe that a majority are born heterosexual and become homosexual somewhere along the way. I don't believe that being homosexual is genetic and I believe being gay is a choice in most cases and is due to psycho socialogical factors with the exception of hermaphrodites, totally different story altogether there.
    Not sure why/how it's a "totally different story altogether there."
    Hormones and neurobiology still differ greatly between individuals who are phenotypically normal.

    Hormones are easier to illustrate (even though I expect less relevant), so: If you accept that obvious hormonal differences can affect sexuality, why not more subtle differences? It's like saying PCOS can't exist because women shouldn't have so much testosterone, despite evidence proving they do. It gets right back to the concept of continuum.

    And I was unaware that psychology was not influenced by genetic factors (eg. baseline levels of neurotransmitter production), so is the "psycho" part of the "psychosociological factors" really a choice. I know I can't just choose to alter my serotonin levels.

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    I think that's more choosing to have a hetro relationship but still being gay inside? don't want to speak for you, just how I read it caviar?
    It's about choices we all have but either choose not to acknowledge or elect to deny.

    We have this ill founded premise that you have to be one thing or the other and that you were born that way. It is a belief that is churned out again and again, much like the myths we read in women's magazines and eventually believe to be true.

    I choose not to believe that humanity is so stilted and stunted. Although I can agree that society can make it that way.

    I find it arrogant that one corner stiffly commands that being gay is not a choice then sniffs that others who feel differently are deluded by ridiculous notions when, realistically, that is not always the case. And that same corner would rush for a label and say, well that's bisexual. Well, again, not always. But unfortunately, some people do like to have things just so, with a legible, steady, firm label and one they can roundly understand. Others prefer not to be imprisoned in safety and will just arrive at life as it invites them.

    That's the wonderful thing about truly living - that you can find life full of intangible truths and bewildering wonders, that none of them wear a label with the real freedom being in that it doesn't matter either.



 

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