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  1. #1
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    Default How to tell TTC IVF friend I'm pregnant?

    Hi, I hoping for some advice on how I can tell my friend that I'm pregnant without upsetting her. She's been TTC for a while now by IVF and recently had a miscarriage I feel so bad for them that they have to go through all this,then I get pregnant 2nd month of trying. How can I tell her with as much sensitivity as possible? Should I tell her just the two of us or wait till we are with our hubbys so she's not on her own after? I don't want her to hate me or not want to see me as I'm getting bigger. I'm 13 weeks now so need to say something soon. What would you do?

  2. #2
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    Just tell her. Be honest. I would be gutted to find out u didn't tell me.
    She will be sad for herself but happy for u, give her a little time to process.

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    I'm worried about the same thing. My sister in law has been trying for close to 6 years without result. When we met we hit it off and she shared with me her wants and fears about being a Mum and then joked 'you'll probably get pregnant before me!'
    now I have and I feel awful, but we'll just tell her. I know that even though it will be hard she 'll be happy for us. Don't make a big deal out of it or that will make it worse.

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    Hoping4bubs is right, you just need to tell her.
    she will be happy for you, and of course sad for herself, she will need a little time to process it, but will then be fine.
    its worse when people try to keep it from you or when hey act weird about it, just be normal, but understanding that she might have some sadness.

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    Please do it privately without a lot of other people around. Me personally had a friend tell me out in public with other friends around (and when my husband was away at work) and it was awful. I would have preferred she had done it over the phone.

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    Hi Penelopee

    As an Ivfer I can give a bit of insight.
    Be honest with her, hearing from you directly is much better. I would talk to her one on one when she is in a private place. Dont apologise for being pregnant, she will understand how exciting it is. She might cry or seem upset but its not that she is angry at you. She will be happy for you, its just likely to remind her of what she is waiting for/lost. The emotions can be overwhelming.

    As a tip - when you are hanging out over the next few months be sensitive to conversations. Dont hide anything from her but be aware that there will be times when she might try to avoid talking about baby related topics. Its not disinterest its self preservation

    She sounds lucky to have a friend like you who cares enough to ask this question x

    Congratulations!!

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  7. #7
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    Ps avoid talking about how long it took you and how quickly it happened xx

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

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    I believe you should tell her in a phone call, or in person if that is possible, but make it soon, otherwise it will be obvious you have been avoiding it. She will be graciously very happy for you, although she will probably shed a few tears for herself in private. good luck and congratulations.

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    Tell her gently face to face. I've had friends on both sides of this. And always my friends feel happy for their pregnant friend. Genuinely happy. She may have a little cry at home later but that's okay (we've all been there those of us on the other side). But it's okay. You sound like good friends who care about each other so just be open and honest. If she asks for more detail just go with the flow, otherwise I'd just say 'I'm pregnant'.
    Congratulations by the way. Im sure she will be happy for you.

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    Oh my goodness I just did this a couple of months ago. I was very delicate, but I was very honest too and treated the situation with kindness and understanding.

    I left her be for a week after and she came to me when she was ready and explained how upset she was- for her own troubles, but that it was only happiness and pleasure she felt for me.

    Good luck and I hope your friend can separate the two like mine could


 

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