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  1. #21
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    This is a great thread. I am more a go with the flow person but DH wants more of a routine... Although he does concede that this is not really necessary for a baby under 1. How do you resolve it in this situation?

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    I guess I am more like your friend!! Although I feel that I am pretty free-range (in terms of letting the kids outside to explore and run and play with the neighborhood kids), I still have a fairly strict routine for eating/sleeping etc.

    Eating breakfast is an expectation in our house, but they can choose what they want to eat within reason. Dinner is at a regular time, and if they don't eat it they can have a pie e of fruit and go to Bed. Bedtime is the same most school nights for both my one year old and my 5 year old, doors get shut and they go to sleep. When they wake (if it's too early for me!) they usually play/read books with each other until 7am. We don't co-sleep unless the kids are sick, and we don't use a monitor (I can hear them anyway!) they both go to school/daycare where they follow regular routines as well. As far as playtime, that's unstructured. Tv is off during the day and if the weather is good, they are outside

    I use routines, not for me, but because that's what my kids respond to. They feel safe in the knowledge that they know how the day is going to pan out. Particularly my 5 year old who has some anxiety issues - if we had no routine she would freak out!!

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    Forgot to mention that I did not feed on demand when breastfeeding either. Both my kids had significant reflux and snacking on the boob seemed to make it worse. Feeding 3-4 hourly seemed to improve the reflux issues although they still needed meds... I BF them for 12 & 14 months respectively. I'll also admit to using CC with both at various ages as well.

  4. #24
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    Madame Mayhem is offline Who you are is who you should be, don't change for anyone
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    We go with the flow. As an adult, I would hate to be force fed when not hungry and forced to sleep when not tired. I don't see it as any different for children. We have *very* loose bedtimes and there is no planned naptime during the day, they just go to sleep when they show signs of tiredness (although, I usually try and avoid late arvo naps).

    My friend recently asked me how many feeds my DS2 has per day...I honestly have no idea. I just stick him on the boob whenever he wants.

    This whole method really works well for us and it is SO easy
    This is us too

  5. #25
    futureherder is offline Child led parent here...save me :)
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    It's hard for me to answer this without a novel. I tried 100% child led and felt that she know her body best. Then I realized she didn't because staying awake 22 hours of a day not eating much and losing weight was not a good result. She did this no matter how many cuddles she got or how much time I spent holding her. She also doesn't respond to a strict routine which generally resulted in the same thing plus lots of crying. So we made a compromise I suggest and she leads but sometimes she needs to be told. This has gotten easier as she has gotten older because I can reason with her. However at nearly 3 years I still can't tell you in a fortnight when she will be sleeping or eating but u can tell you when I am going to ask her to

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  7. #26
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    Both.

    DD is pretty easygoing, and I would say it has been more "parent-led going with the flow" than child-led.

    I haven't ever had a strict daily routine with her, as she has fitted around whatever we are doing on any particular day.

    We're happy for her to nap whenever she wants to, and if she's not hungry at breakfast time (for example) then we'll just offer her food again later. She knows that there is breakfast, lunch, and dinner time, but she is not obliged to eat then if she's not hungry.

    Having said that, she set a bed time for herself from very early on, and we've stuck with that from 4 weeks-ish until now (21 months). If she's really tired she'll go earlier. If we're on holiday/ out for an evening with her then she'll go later. But usually it's the same time if we're home.

    I have seen people get very stressed over routines, and not being able to go out at a particular time if the baby is napping/ having to be home at a certain point, and it worked better for us to not have those routines/ end up trapped by them. No disrespect to those who do, but it wasn't for us.

  8. #27
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    baby led all the way here. utter chaos and i love it.
    my current littly is 13 months and he clearly likes a little routine as he has set his own haha
    personally im a very go with the flow spontaneous person so suits me answer my parenting to let baby lead. nothing i hate more than being pinned down to a time frame

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    We do have a routine. I think myself and DS are both happier when there is predictability to the day. I didn't start one till 6 months, and I think it would be too hard to implement one for a younger baby.

    The routine is flexible. Sometimes he naps at 10.30, sometimes at 11.30, but there is the same order of events happening at roughly the same time every day. I like being able to plan appointments and meeting people in advance.

    I do not ever just put DS to bed and shut the door. And even though his bedtime is 7pm there are many many nights he won't sleep till 8.30 or 9 but we cuddle him and rock him and sing to him.

    While I admire the child-led, totally AP lifestyle, I personally need more structure.

  10. #29
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    I'm a routine girl all the way. When it comes to DS's daytime naps, I look for his tired signs and put him to sleep. I pay attention to his pattern and follow that. I don't pop him down for a nap at a certain time, it's when he's tired. Until recently, he was showing tired signs every two hours, so I'd look for the signs every two hours and when I saw them, I'd pop him in his cot. Now he's awake for longer so he only has two naps during the day.
    He does go to sleep every night at 7pm, no later. He's used to it now and gets cranky if he's not in bed by 7pm. He sleeps through from 7pm-7:30, sometimes even 8:30-9am.
    DS is FF so we feed him every four hours, followed by solids an hour later.

  11. #30
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    I have no routine, we do playgroup and daycare and thats about as routine as I get lol it works. Im not organised enough for a routine

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