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  1. #11
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    I thought I didn't follow routine but after reading some responses it seems in a sense I do.

    As babies I never enforced any routine on my children. They were fed when hungry and slept when tired. I don't believe in CC either so everyday was definately very different. But I notice as my kids are getting older a routine starts to fall into place. My youngest has one day sleep and I know what time he is ready to go down, generally it's the same everyday. Our meal times are at the same time and all our kids have certain bedtimes, with our eldest in bed by 7:30. We are not strict on this though, if we have people over or we are out for dinner they handle it quite well (although their behaviour the next day tells a different story). I have friends whose kids do not have any boundaries like these at all. It amazes me that they will happily fall asleep at our outdoor table at 10pm, or on our mat in our living room at this time, because my kids will not sleep anywhere unless they are in the car or in their bed, and so TBH I could never parent like my friend. IMO because of this parenting style my friends children's behaviour is reflected by this and I'm sure the children must long for some regularity. They also seem to rule the roost I cant handle chaos, I need to know that after a big day for everyone my kids are settled and me and hubby can put our feet up at the end of the day and have some time for us and enjoy some peace n quiet too. My kids also go to school, play sport, I study at uni, we run a business etc etc so we NEED balance and familiarity and therefore I guess routine of sorts.
    Last edited by Gruffalo; 24-03-2012 at 00:31.

  2. #12
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    I'm gonna go against the grain here. I follow a routine "by the clock". But then I'm not a "go with the flow" person and never have been.

    While growing up, I have always decided I'll do day to day tasks by the time, iykwim. Ie. If I was telling someone, I would say "I'm going to eat lunch at 12 and then I'm go for a shower at 12:30".
    I am a very impatient person who needs to know what is happening when.

    But that's just who I am and has obviously influenced my parenting style.
    I have to say DD has thrived off it. She's an incredibly happy "easy" baby who gets lots of cuddles and playtime.
    She has slept 12hrs solid since 6 weeks and I def don't close the door and "that's it". If she's upset, of course I go comfort her, but if she's just protesting, I leave her and she goes off to sleep in 5 or 10 mins.

    But she does start and end her day at the same time each day. She eats at the same time each day. She naps and baths at the same time each day.

    I am a big believer of baby's being comforted by knowing what is coming and when.
    Also a big believer in that name I dare not mention!!
    But like I said, thats just me. It works for us and I couldn't imagine doing it any other way.

    But saying that, I can def see how this wouldn't work for everyone and totally respect every parenting style.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RubySunrise For This Useful Post:

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  4. #13
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    I have had dd on a routine since she came out of hospital. But i am a very organised & routine person myself so it suits me. Some times it has been frustrating when it hadnt gone to plans. And i often get called a sleep nazi by mil & sil but as a result i have a baby who has slept 12 hrs a night since 8 wks old, and at 17 mth - 3 hrs in the day, 7pm bed time & 7am awake each morning. I also rarely have a grumpy child because she is never over tired or cranky because she gets her sleep in her bed when its time 4 sleep. But i have a child who needs to sleep in her bed, she doesnt just drop off to sleep anyehere so another reason it works 4 us. I hope it works again for child no 2. But OP i am likr the friends u mention but very opposite to u..

  5. #14
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    Thank you so much for this thread...

    I am a go-with-the-flow surrounded by strict routiners!! Some of these are Mums who havent even done it on purpose , but their child has formed their own routine.

    My 2 both have some factors that make them a bit outside the norm ... so going with the flow is a must ...but I have had a few conversations lately where it has been implied that this makes me a lesser parent and that I'm damaging my kids My littlest is incredubly settled , especially if I am wearing him , but he hates the pram. A friend recently told me that I just need to put him in there and make him get used to it...but if we are both uite happy babywearing and it's better for him being sick ...if it works for us why force him when he's still so little?

    I personally think each to their own , you do what works for you and your family.
    But this thread has reminded me of that..this is what my little ones need and they are only little for such a short time ( and they have both faced a lot in their young lives)

    haha..sorry about the vent/rant.. up at the 3rd or 4th time at 4:40 am with my 4.5 month old while all my friends babies seem to be sleeping through the night

  6. #15
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    Great thread!

    I do a bit of both...I know DS1 normally needs to be in bed by a certain time but this changes on creche days or if he's up earlier than normal or sick or seething or...

    I demand feed dS2 so definitely go with the flow there at 10 weeks.

    Im curious whether ff makes.it easier to.have a strict routine? Genuinely curious as second time around I still don't have a set routine although we roughly have patterns but I always wondered if it's because I bf?

  7. #16
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    I tried having a routine for so long and it wasn't until I stopped and started going with the flow that I really started to enjoy being a mum.
    DS is fairly predictable now in terms of how long he'll be awake so I can roughly plan the day after he's up if I need to. He eats and sleeps at different times each day.

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  8. #17
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    We are very child-led.

    I was upset the other day when sitting in on a nursery class DS was attending, they had the whole 2 hours mapped out in 15 minute blocks. Free-play, play-do, drawing, eating, musical instruments, singing, story time, then bubbles.

    When the cars at free-play were put away my DS (24mo) got upset as he'd only just started playing with them, then when the instruments were put away he had a complete meltdown. I understood why. This lady gave him this awesome bell to play with, showed him how to use it, they had heaps of fun and very shortly after he quite suddenly wasn't allowed to play with it any more, he couldn't understand why.

    We do a variety of activities here at home, but the kids often pick what we do, when and for how long. If something's enjoyable we roll with it, even if it makes lunch a little later.

  9. #18
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    We mostly do baby led to a degree. DS who is 3 can eat when he is hungry, but it is usually always me who instigates it. (I will generally ask him if he is hungry and then he will say yes or no.)
    Bed time has no routine! I generally go with the flow. It depends on what has happened during the day. If Ds has been active, than he goes to sleep earlier, I just keep an eye on the tired cues and again instigate it. Some nights he goes to bed AT 8PM and other nights its 10-11pm. He naps during the day and that can be at anytime. He has even napped at 4pm-7pm! Which meant that sleep was at 12am!!
    I basically follow his lead.we eat when we are hungry, and sleep when we are tired (its usually around the same time each day anyway!)
    DS is a lot like me so a routine wouldnt work for us as I would end up with a grumpy tantrum throwing boy.

  10. #19
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    As a new born baby I was told in hospital that my daughter must be fed every two hours due to here size. I would have to wake her up every two hours to feed her, if I left her to sleep I got in trouble by the paediatrician (woops lol).
    When I got home I let her do what she wanted which was feeding every 2 hours during the day and 2-3 hours at night.
    Once she cut down her sleeps to 3 a day and was sleeping longer at night I used a routine of set(ish) sleep times and feed times. It worked for me and she was sleeping through the night from very early (luck?)
    As she has gotten older I have changed her routine as needed,eg. later morning sleep, to one sleep, however bedtime has been very consistently 7.30 since she was sleeping through. Obviously teething and illness will change the success of this, however 98% of the time we get an uninterrupted sleep. If we go out she will stay up later but as a previous poster said I definatly pay for it the next day.
    Breakfast lunch and dinner and very similar times and she always eats so I'm happy with that.The only difference will be she might want an extra snack if she is hungry here and there. She knows how to ask for these things so no problems there.
    I believe it depends on the parents personality rather than the child. Children adapt to what they become used to, however adults less so. I am a organised (controlling ) person and I dont think I would handle having no structure, therefore a routine has worked well for me and my happy healthy daughter

  11. #20
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    We are a bit of both here....

    I find with 3 children and one of those being at school, we have to have routine at certain times to help things run smoothly. For example school pick up, snack and free time, homework with a parent then we jump to dinner, shower etc.

    If I left it up to my DS to choose what time to do his homework we would be doing it just before bedtime when he is to tired to concentrate properly.

    In the afternoons we have a snack time then nothing else until dinner or they won't eat it. So I won't just follow their cues and give them what they want. Dinner time is at the same time very day as is bedtime (generally speaking).

    One of my children thrives on routine while the other is go with the flow, so we try to accommodate both of ther needs.


 

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