Last edited by mumof2boys00; 28-03-2012 at 08:08.
I know how you feel. I moved away from my home town to be with DP and I havent made a single friend in the 10 months weve been here. None of my old friends talk to me either so I get how you feel hun
Me too! i moved away with DH for his job and in the 4 yrs i have lived here, i have not made a single close friend who's my age that i can relate to. I feel socially retarded or something. My other friends stopped contacting me about a yr after i moved. I honestly dont even miss them.
DH is my best friend, he doesnt care that im a loner.
It's ok, your not the only one
I agree with Ferny (with not missing your old friends) At first I was really hurt that none of my old friends would contact me or anything..I was the one ringing them and asking them how they were all that jazz. Now I dont really care..I have DP and hes amazing and we get along like a house on fire. The only time I hear from my old friends now is if they want something and thats rare as well..Funny how life changes and how relationships change as well.
DH and I lived overseas for a year...it felt like it took forever to make friends! I think when you're an adult most people just have their established networks and it can take time to find similar people who have "space" in their network, if that makes sense? The first real friend I made, we worked together and got along well but mostly we bonded because we were "let go" from our jobs on the same day! Not working outside the home would be making it all that much harder I'm sure. The main thing I would say is if having friends is important to you (and it is to most people), don't give up! Keep trying new things. If your DH has work mates, see if he could organise a weekend BBQ of some kind where partners/kids could come along and maybe you'll get to know some of them. If you tried one mum's group and it didn't take, try another (one friend I know went to her "final" mum's group after never meeting anyone and at that meeting there just happened to be a whole new group of women who are now her best friends). Could you start doing activities with your baby like swimming or yoga or music? My gym has a creche and I've noticed the mums who go to the daytime classes often go for a coffee together afterwards If there is a particular cause you're interested in, see if there's a group in Adelaide for it (e.g. animal welfare, human rights). Also, do you know anyone who has friends in Adelaide? My mum made some friends by another friend calling and saying "my friend Jane is moving to your city, do you think you could give her a call and see how she's going?" That happened a few times and those friendships have continued. The longer you go without socialising, the harder it seems and the less motivated you might be, but if you are invited to something even if it's a BH meetup or something with strangers that sounds scary, GO And mostly, be kind to yourself. You're not pathetic!
I've been there. Bedrest, sick child,new city, very lonely. And its no fun at all.
Things picked up for me when I joined a group for mums who were new to my area. Maybe you could try starting one up? Start a facebook group, do a post here in the Adelaide section letting people know about it and see what happens. Do you have community health clinics or community notice boards at your local shops? You could post a notice about it.
We met weekly at someone's house for morning tea. Everyone brings a plate to share. It started out at the organisers house each week and then once a group had properly formed it would move week to week to share the burden. Then monthly dinners out were added.
Because we were all relatively new to the area there weren't cliques already formed and everyone who came was eager to make new friends.
Changed my social life completely.
I hope you find some friendly company.
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