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  1. #1
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    Default Argh!

    ** WARNING VENT! **

    Morning all! - I need to get this out before i explode!

    Dear DP,

    I wish you would understand being a SAHM is not as easy as it sounds!
    I wish you would have a bit of sympathy every now and again instead of saying that you would love to stay home and have an easy day like i do.. PFFT!
    Do you REALLY understand how frustrating it sometimes can be getting an almost 3 month old to sleep when he is overtired, sick and grumpy?

    You DONT understand being a MUM means:

    -Sometimes we dont get to have breakfast at the normal time like you and everyone else, i usually end up having breakfast at 11am because i am too BUSY looking after our son!
    -Most of the time we dont get to go to the loo for 5 minutes because we have a crying or whinging baby that needs us, I'm sorry you get 15 minutes in the loo playing games on your phone in the morning, Im flat out getting 2 minutes to sit down and try go to the loo to get rid of this CONSTIPATION! ( sorry tmi! LOL)
    -We dont get to have 10 minute long showers to just relax after our day BECAUSE WE ARE GOING NON STOP! ( just so you know DP i dont even get 3 minutes! Washing my hair is unheard of at the moment!!!! )
    -We sometimes dont get the time to put our make up on in peace so we look presentable for the day!
    -Lunch is almost everytime pushed back to 2pm when the baby has a sleep!
    -We dont get to take our time doing things like you!!
    -We dont get to have a nice drive to and from work listening to fizzty on the radio who will ALWAYS make you cry of laughter.
    -Sometimes it means taking 45 minutes rocking a baby to sleep in the pram over a bump WHEN you have a sore back!

    There are so many more i could write, but i am too tired! LOL

    ARGHHHH, i wish my DP would understand its not always easy! Or just men in general! And yes i do love being a mum, butsometimes i just wish i could have 5 minutes to myself!

    Dont get me wrong DP is a great dad, and he does his part. But he gets an hour lunch time break everyday, 15 mins in the morn to chill on the loo, then 15 mins at work whenever he wants, Gets time to himself on his drive to and from work, comes home has a nice long shower, gets to sleep more than i do most of the time... I just wish he would understand that being a mum is a 24/7 job, we dont get very many breaks, and if we do its not always hours long!

    Sorry for the vent, i just needed to get it out!!!!

    Ps feel free to add on if there is something i have missed regarding what being a mum means....

    Have a lovely day ladies!! X

  2. #2
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    I could have written this myself when I was on maternity leave. Love my DH and he is a great dad but he always made me feel like I was on holidays when I was on mat leave. I remember he planned to rest on a long weekend once and I said 'well what about me? It's my long weekend too!' and he said 'umm, every DAY is your long weekend!' GRRR!

    He is much much better about sharing the load since I went back to full time work but I tell ya, my days were harder/busier while on mat leave.

    I think some partners will just never understand what it's like to be a SAHP and they will always assume its easier/more fun than what they are doing.

  3. #3
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    Hugs... I think most working people will never understand. I know I never did, had heaps of plans about what I would do with all the free time! What I would give to be allowed to walk out the door at 5pm when having a bad day. My DH is very hands on and not afraid of housework without being asked but forgets that it is 24/7 and physically-mentally & emotionally draining. Over new years my brother offered to have our DD's for a couple of nights, he didn't want to leave then. I have been very unwell with pregnancy #3 and needed the break, the plan was that we all go to family fireworks then back to brothers house and settle kids into bed DH & I go home, sleep in out for lunch maybe a movie and back to brothers for breakfast & collect DD's the next morning. So not really a long break/holiday and he couldn't understand why I was upset that he wanted to cancel.

    Sent from my HTC Desire using BubHub

  4. #4
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    DH has a MUCH better idea of the things I went through when ds was a bub now, except ds now is a noisy toddler who wants someone to play with rather than someone to rock him to sleep lol.

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    Well my husband sounds more worse than yours.i am jus waiting to go back to work but definitely this maternity leave has proved that we are not soulmates or " lovebirds " as said by our friends and family.The reality is painful and is hurting me more as he was my choice... My parents were never in favour this marriage.But then it was my destiny....

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    My DH really doesn't get it either. Part of it is that he loves spending time with DD and is very jealous I'm at home when he would rather be at home than at work. He doesn't realize how involved it is. When he is with DD he is great, but it's not the same. I feed her and I also usually feed her to sleep. That leaves him doing play time, or nappies. Occasionally he puts her to sleep if I have fed her to sleep 80% of the way. It's not really the same.

  7. #7
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    Other things:
    -We don't have weekends. Bub still needs us from 5pm Friday to 9am Monday so there is no end to the working week for us. I'm glad you can spend your weekend relaxing but I don't get them anymore.

    Yeah, I had plans for my maternity leave lol... not much of it has happened & I'm going back to work in just over a month .
    Maybe have a note-pad, pen & watch on hand for a day or two or week & write down everything you do. Then give it to your DP & explain that once you do all this, there is not really any of this marvelous 'free time' stuff left.

    My DF thought I would morph into a Stepford housewife (like his mum) when on leave...yeah noooo... Took a bit but he doesn't expect me to be that now. And he is happy to take DD off my hands now when he gets home from work & on the weekend if I want some time to myself.
    Can your DP take bub for a few hours on the weekend so you can have some 'me' time? I plan it so I feed bub then hand her over & off I go! 3-4hours before she needs another feed so even if I don't express I can have a decent break.

  8. #8
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    My DH suffered from these misconceptions when I was SAHM with just the 1 bub. After DD2 was born he took 2 weeks of leave & had a list of jobs he wanted to do around the house. After 2 weeks he was glad to go back to work & had done 1 thing on his list. If he gets frustrated on weekends when his big plans of yard work & window cleaning fizzle I say "welcome to my everyday". I wish I could spend an uninterrupted 10 mins hanging up washing and thinking of nothing. Luckily he is fully capable of housework & dad duties so on the weekends we juggle both.

  9. #9
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    Get your DP to be a SAHD for just 1 day , than he'll understand! DH has been doing it for 2 days now (for practise as he'll be a SAHD soon when i return to full time work in a month) and he is EXHAUSTED !! i know i shouldnt laugh but its so funny watching him trying to settle DD, feed her, bath her, entertain her, try and getting things done around the house ; in his words ''this is never ending!! '...he's been wonderful with helping me out but not truly understands what it means to be a SAHM!!

  10. #10
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    DH was like this initially too, but after a few weekends where I asked him to take the lead in looking after DS he soon got the message that it is a 24/7 job.


 

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