wwyd - SIL issue

[Raylin Park]

Ok so this is going 2 b long and i hope u can follow it. My sil (who has never approved of me and her and mil even went 2 the extreme of telling my dh that i was a golddigger) got engaged a couple of weeks ago. Ok good on her. So they have decided 2 have an engagement party so far so good. Got the invitation 2day in the mail. They are holding it on the day after my dds first birthday. Of course this is the day we had planned 2 hold a birthday party for my daughter. Ok so we hadnt told them a date but surely they could put 2 and 2 2gether and work out that we would have her party that day. Her engagement is at night but due 2 us living 2+ hours away it would be tricky 2 have both on the same day. The next day dosent suit either! Mil is already complaining she is missing out now cause we dont drive down every week 2 c her. What would u do have birthday party anyway and invite people and leave it up 2 them or change all our plans 2 suit sil again. We were going 2 have a fairly big party as some family members havent met dd yet due 2 distance and work commitments on our behalf

[missie_mack]

She probably is too wrapped up in her engagement to even realise it is your DDs birthday. Sadly I think it is first in best dressed. Do it the week after or the week before if it doesn't suit Me I would probably be happy they couldn't attend and have it without them

[swizzlestick]

Can you maybe have a small family party on the same day (or day after) in the same town as SILs party, so at least her side of the family can attend? And then do the big party the weekend before or after??

[Nazgul]

I'd hate to say but you should assume that people will know when you throwing an event..
It basically comes down to who gets the invites out first.

[JaneDoe]

Never assume anything - she prob didn't give it a second thought tbh!!

I'd have the bday party the weekend before or after - sometimes it pays to be the bigger person!

In all honesty other than a further strained relationship what's it going to achieve by making it an issue?

Your DD will enjoy herself no matter what day you hold it on, she is at an age were she is totally oblivious to it not being her 'actual' bday!

[waterlily]

Never assume anything - she prob didn't give it a second thought tbh!!

I'd have the bday party the weekend before or after - sometimes it pays to be the bigger person!

In all honesty other than a further strained relationship what's it going to achieve by making it an issue?

Your DD will enjoy herself no matter what day you hold it on, she is at an age were she is totally oblivious to it not being her 'actual' bday!

I agree! Never assume anything. I doubt it was deliberate.

I'd either throw it during the day or pic another day. Your choice.

[RmumR]

id say she's planned it without even realising its your DD's bday.

i certainly aren't thinking of it possibly being someone's bday party when im organising my own events.

as a PP said first in with the invite, is there a reason you can't do it the weekend before or after