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  1. #1
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    Default I'm so impatient ...or just annoyed *vent*

    So my husband is from OS so all his family and friends are over there, I email them to keep them updated with what's going on with DS and send photos to see how's he's growing as his brothers had babies since he moved here and we would have liked the same thing. We were constantly asking for photos but never getting them (we got one from one brother once and it was horrible looked like the lens needed a good wipe or they were in a dust storm). I asked them (for the second time - I asked once before when I was pregnant) for a recent photos of themselves and each individual family group photos because I want to make a book of photos of them all so DS will learn their names and faces. I've had no response and it's really annoying me. I check my email every morning and every night waiting to hear from them and nothing. The last time one of the sister in-laws said she was on it but I never got the photos.

    It's really disappointing because although I don't like my MIL I still put in the effort and don't let her know that I don't like her. I could pretend they all don't exist but that's not fair on DH.

    With digital cameras and emails theses days it's not hard. I know it's not a case of them not knowing what to do. I know they know what to do coz they know how to post photos of other things on Facebook. I understand if they don't want to put photos on Facebook but I asked for them to be emailed or snail mailed if they'd rather that but nothing.

    So frustrated.. I was trying to be nice maybe I should stop the emails with information on what's going on and just wait for them to ask to tell them because they don't seem to care or be interested.

    Sorry vent over

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    Hey BigZ,

    I had a similar experience a few yrs ago with hubbie's family (also OS) when I was trying to put together a bit of a family tree photo wall in our home, it's taken 4yrs and another visit to them to actually get the pictures...

    I found it a lot easier to get them when we were there, in person as they couldn't get distracted or side-tracked. Is that a possibility for you?

    Another thing to keep in mind, my in-laws only ever get together in a big group when hubbie and I go over to visit, otherwise they see each other in bits and pieces and never think to take a picture.

    I know it's challenging, particularly as you are trying to be nice and inclusive (go you!!! ) but there's no point in stressing yourself out over their inability to join in.

    What about skype as a way to communicate, that way they can see your little one grow face-to-face?

    Something else to keep at the back of your mind, is your husband upset by this lack of interest and communication? If he is, then get him on the case, if he isn't then try to channel his dissinterest for yourself.

    No matter what happens though, remember - you tried to do the right thing and you gave it your best shot!

    KT

  3. #3
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    I would stop emailing them, and if they really do care they'll eventually wonder what's going on in your lives and get in touch - you've made the effort so leave it at that for now.

    Dies DH have contact with them? Maybe he can ask for pics/ updates and have more luck...? They could chat on the phone and he could ask then. Perhaps the time differences mean they get the emails at a time that's busy (first thing in the morning etc)... Maybe your emails are going to junk mail folder also...

    Have you met them before? Yeah, just leave it with DH you've done your bit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KatieMarie View Post
    Hey BigZ,

    I had a similar experience a few yrs ago with hubbie's family (also OS) when I was trying to put together a bit of a family tree photo wall in our home, it's taken 4yrs and another visit to them to actually get the pictures...

    I found it a lot easier to get them when we were there, in person as they couldn't get distracted or side-tracked. Is that a possibility for you?

    Another thing to keep in mind, my in-laws only ever get together in a big group when hubbie and I go over to visit, otherwise they see each other in bits and pieces and never think to take a picture.

    I know it's challenging, particularly as you are trying to be nice and inclusive (go you!!! ) but there's no point in stressing yourself out over their inability to join in.

    What about skype as a way to communicate, that way they can see your little one grow face-to-face?

    Something else to keep at the back of your mind, is your husband upset by this lack of interest and communication? If he is, then get him on the case, if he isn't then try to channel his dissinterest for yourself.

    No matter what happens though, remember - you tried to do the right thing and you gave it your best shot!

    KT
    I really wanted the pictures so he could learn their names and faces because by the time we do go back he will probably be talking. So thought a little picture book would be good to flick through with him that he can flick through when he wanted to.

    I don't want a big group one of them all just of each family like each of his brothers with their family and then individual ones. So they don't really need a special trip to get one and I told them they don't have to be professional. So I didn't think I would be putting them out that much. I should have known it would be a bit much to ask considering we were always asking for pictures of the nieces and rarely got them.

    We do talk on Skype with them but it doesn't happen much these days the last time I was sick when DH spoke with his mother and i was laying on the couch just listening and she sounded disinterested in what DH was telling her anyway so that should have been another indication.

    I have asked DH how he feels about it and he has said he's disappointed he feels a bit like they don't care about him now coz since he moved he's not been told about things and he always has to do the contacting no one ever makes the effort to contact him. It's so frustrating for him. I couldn't care because I don't like his mother but he likes her so I encourage him to contact her.

    Maybe I just need to get them
    All on Skype and get pictures that way, by taking them ourselves. :-)

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by KatieMarie View Post
    Hey BigZ,

    I had a similar experience a few yrs ago with hubbie's family (also OS) when I was trying to put together a bit of a family tree photo wall in our home, it's taken 4yrs and another visit to them to actually get the pictures...

    I found it a lot easier to get them when we were there, in person as they couldn't get distracted or side-tracked. Is that a possibility for you?

    Another thing to keep in mind, my in-laws only ever get together in a big group when hubbie and I go over to visit, otherwise they see each other in bits and pieces and never think to take a picture.

    I know it's challenging, particularly as you are trying to be nice and inclusive (go you!!! ) but there's no point in stressing yourself out over their inability to join in.

    What about skype as a way to communicate, that way they can see your little one grow face-to-face?

    Something else to keep at the back of your mind, is your husband upset by this lack of interest and communication? If he is, then get him on the case, if he isn't then try to channel his dissinterest for yourself.

    No matter what happens though, remember - you tried to do the right thing and you gave it your best shot!

    KT


    I really wanted the pictures so he could learn their names and faces because by the time we do go back he will probably be talking. So thought a little picture book would be good to flick through with him that he can flick through when he wanted to.

    I don't want a big group one of them all just of each family like each of his brothers with their family and then individual ones. So they don't really need a special trip to get one and I told them they don't have to be professional. So I didn't think I would be putting them out that much. I should have known it would be a bit much to ask considering we were always asking for pictures of the nieces and rarely got them.

    We do talk on Skype with them but it doesn't happen much these days the last time I was sick when DH spoke with his mother and i was laying on the couch just listening and she sounded disinterested in what DH was telling her anyway so that should have been another indication.

    I have asked DH how he feels about it and he has said he's disappointed he feels a bit like they don't care about him now coz since he moved he's not been told about things and he always has to do the contacting no one ever makes the effort to contact him. It's so frustrating for him. I couldn't care because I don't like his mother but he likes her so I encourage him to contact her.

    Maybe I just need to get them
    All on Skype and get pictures that way, by taking them ourselves. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    I would stop emailing them, and if they really do care they'll eventually wonder what's going on in your lives and get in touch - you've made the effort so leave it at that for now.

    Dies DH have contact with them? Maybe he can ask for pics/ updates and have more luck...? They could chat on the phone and he could ask then. Perhaps the time differences mean they get the emails at a time that's busy (first thing in the morning etc)... Maybe your emails are going to junk mail folder also...

    Have you met them before? Yeah, just leave it with DH you've done your bit.
    Yeah I think I will stop them coz I think they are not interested. If they want them they can ask and I will send them again. I will tell DH I am stopping them so now it's up to him if he wants to send them he can do it.

    I have met them all and got along well with everyone except DHs mother.

    Oh well I tried, I am done now

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigZ View Post

    I have asked DH how he feels about it and he has said he's disappointed he feels a bit like they don't care about him now coz since he moved he's not been told about things and he always has to do the contacting no one ever makes the effort to contact him. It's so frustrating for him. I couldn't care because I don't like his mother but he likes her so I encourage him to contact her.
    That's the bit that really sucks... it will be particularly hard for you because you have every right to be frustrated and upset because you're trying to create some feeling of family even though they're in a different country, but can't really complain to DH as he's feeling upset too. Ahhh BigZ, I think it's important to acknowledge that you are trying and you're doing a great job - families are just a pain!!

    I wish you the best of luck with the skype idea, I sincerely hope it works for you!! If it does, let us know!!!

    KT

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    Quote Originally Posted by KatieMarie View Post
    That's the bit that really sucks... it will be particularly hard for you because you have every right to be frustrated and upset because you're trying to create some feeling of family even though they're in a different country, but can't really complain to DH as he's feeling upset too. Ahhh BigZ, I think it's important to acknowledge that you are trying and you're doing a great job - families are just a pain!!

    I wish you the best of luck with the skype idea, I sincerely hope it works for you!! If it does, let us know!!!

    KT
    Thanks, I don't like my chances because DH has his Skype on all the time when he's home and sometimes the pop up will come on to say that they are on he'll try and call and then no answer. So the book might just be my family.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigZ View Post
    So the book might just be my family.

    they sound like the type you want your bub to grow up to be like anyway

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    Quote Originally Posted by KatieMarie View Post
    they sound like the type you want your bub to grow up to be like anyway
    Very true very true, I've been thinking its their loss anyway. :-) not mine, not DSs (well maybe a bit coz its nice to know your family and feel appreciated by them) just theirs coz when we so go to see them they will be strangers. I'll be waiting to see if they mention it on Skype next time though. that's horrible isn't it. I should just say something but I am not that close to them so it doesn't feel right, I would say something to my family if they did that, but then I also wouldn't expect them to be so rude and just ignore it.


 

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