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  1. #1
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    Default ectopic pregnancy

    hi everyone i am new to this site. my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years finally two weeks ago i was so happy to find out i was pregnant. A couple of days later i experienced pain and bleeding and the doctors told me I was having threatened miscarriage I was in and out of the hospital for the next few days then I was told I had an ectopic pregnancy and I had to have surgery and one of my tubes was removed i was devastated. I have no children and all I want is a child I am only 23 years old. I am currently struggling with the loss and feel alone my husband is trying to be supportive but i feel like he doesnt understand what I am going through. I work as a counsellor, I took a week off work and im due to go back tomorrow and i am really scared im going to breakdown I know this sounds horrible but i am not looking forward to going to work and listening to other peoples problems when im struggling with my own.
    I am really scared about the future and if I will be able to concieve I was wondering if anyone else has been through the same thing? and how you coped with it?
    they have told me i have a 1 in 10 chance of having another ectopic should i try again and possibly have another tube removed or skip ahead to ivf i just dont know what to do
    thanks
    14.3.12 my angel
    Last edited by md13; 20-03-2012 at 14:59.

  2. #2
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    *hugs* I am so sorry you're going through this.

    I had an ectopic in December and lost
    my tube too. I won't lie, I'm still struggling now like you, I feel my husband didn't understand. He was supportive and said all the right things but I just don't think he took the loss as badly as me. I still can't be around babies and I hate talking to my pregnant friends. I feel bad/selfish but I can't do it without bursting into tears.

    You need to do whatever you can to get through it. If works too distressing, could you maybe take some personal leave for a while?

    I'm so, so sorry for your loss *hugs* it's such a horrible thing to go through.

  3. #3
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    I've had two losses. So I understand to an extent. I read your story and couldn't just not say big big hugs.
    It's still very fresh and emotionally raw for you. That's perfectly normal. Give yourself time and each day to heal a little further. I went back to work about week after mine last year and a week later I did break down at work. My boss was extremely understanding and had no issue. He just said you've had a traumatic time. It's okay. Go home and rest. I'm sure your workplace will be understanding too. I felt very wobbly that day when I went so I warned my boss I was out of sorts. Again very understanding. Just do the same. Heading back to work is hard because it's part of accepting that life is moving on. I'm sure being a counsellor you know all this. And I think it's perfectly understandable you wouldn't want to hear everyone's problems. Just take it one day at a time.
    Big hugs for you. I'm so sorry.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Tamtam For This Useful Post:

    md13  (20-03-2012)

  5. #4
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    @Anjalee thank you for your reply and sorry for your loss also *hug*
    I know what you mean about not wanting to be around pregnant friends I feel guilty about it but i just cant deal with being around them i am happy for them but it just reminds me of the loss. How long did it take you to recover physically? and were you told how long after you should start trying again?

    @TaMTam so sorry for your losses *hugs* could not imagine experiencing two. Thanks for your reply it really helps knowing that others have been through it also it is good that your boss was understanding I hope mine will be the same.

    It is frustrating because as a counsellor logically i know what helps with grief and loss however applying it in order to help myself is another story.
    I am going to make sure i go in to work tomorrow (im kind of wanting to take tomorrow off but i know if i stay home i will get more depressed) I think the first day will be the hardest but after I get through it i know i will feel better.
    *hugs* to both of you ! your replies helped me a lot thank you!


    14.3.12 my angel
    Last edited by md13; 19-03-2012 at 22:24.

  6. #5
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    I had two doses of methotrexate before I ruptured so I was told to wait 6 months, but I think if you don't have methotrexate it's a 3 month wait?

    I found physically I felt horrible for about a week from the keyhole surgery and I was a bit achey for maybe 2 weeks?

    It's such a horrible thing to go through I don't even have any advice because I think everyone just handles it so differently

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    md13  (20-03-2012)

  8. #6
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    I chickened out of going to work today hopefully i can pluck up the courage to go in tomorrow havent been out of the house yet. Did anyone else experience weight loss after an ectopic? i have lost 4 in a week i dont know if that is normal or not

  9. #7
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    Take all the time you need, everybody copes differently. I had an ectopic Sept last year, I was also told I was miscarrying and to pretty much wait it out. I waited and then my right tube ruptured so I had to have emergancy surgery to remove my tube. I was in struggle town for a while, even now it stings to think about it, I would have been due in 7weeks. But the postive to my story is, we decided to start trying again 6months later, physically we could have tried after 3months, but emotianally it took 6months. Our first month trying I fell pregnant, I'm now 10weeks and baby is very healthy. Take the time you need to grieve, a loss of a baby is hard, especially when you have also had to deal with surgery. Goodluck in the future.

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    md13  (20-03-2012)

  11. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milktini View Post
    Take all the time you need, everybody copes differently. I had an ectopic Sept last year, I was also told I was miscarrying and to pretty much wait it out. I waited and then my right tube ruptured so I had to have emergancy surgery to remove my tube. I was in struggle town for a while, even now it stings to think about it, I would have been due in 7weeks. But the postive to my story is, we decided to start trying again 6months later, physically we could have tried after 3months, but emotianally it took 6months. Our first month trying I fell pregnant, I'm now 10weeks and baby is very healthy. Take the time you need to grieve, a loss of a baby is hard, especially when you have also had to deal with surgery. Goodluck in the future.
    Hey Milktini first I want to say i am so sorry for your loss and having to go through the surgery.

    congrats on your pregnancy! its great to hear and it gives me hope for the future.


 

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