Prenatal Depression?

[jessii83]

I am 28w pregnant with my second and have a 2 year old. Im starting to wonder if I have slight depression.

I feel like I have no one to talk to and everyone around me seems so needy. Im extremely tired, although having troubles sleeping, cant catch up on sleep, have a full on 2 year old and a needy husband. Which I feel is all starting to kind of fall in on me. Im starting to get teary all the time because Im just kind of over it all and im not sure im coping to well. I can't find one thing that is for me at the moment and its not going to get any better once this bub is born.

All I do is clean house, cook, chase etc. There isn't even a "Me" time movie or TV show. People are telling me to slow down but this doesn't help in the way of the support I feel I need. My 2 year old doesn't nap, so I dont get a rest there. My hubby is having a change in career and also very needy in the bedroom dep (he hasn't had any for a week and this is hell on him and Im the biggest ***** out there) and our relationship seems to be rocky due to all this.

Anyone have any ideas on what I can do to cope, im losing my mind. I have hit a point were im enjoying nothing, feeling mopy and zombie like (same routines) and making everyone else happy when Im just not seems to be hard for them to understand. I just want to hide in a box until this baby is born. My energy seems ok for my 2 year old up until about 2-3pm but by the time my hubby gets home at 5.30-6.00 im done, this is after cooking dinner as well. I really have no idea what to do.

Even just to have some of you lovely ladies pop in some ideas for me, share your experience or show a tiny bit of support would be fantastic.

Thank you so much. <3

Lost Mummy

[GM01]

Firstly, !

I don't have any children at the moment, but I am pregnant (16 weeks) and struggling with bouts of "pre-natal" depressive type moods. Very teary, feeling really lost and sad... not wanting to leave the house. And it's completely irrational! I've got a great job, I'm studying, so many things to keep me occupied.

I've been setting little pregnancy related goals now, to try and make me focus on bub - I have a scan booked today, 3.5 weeks time I have the next OB appt, I've set a goal for getting the nursery started after that. It's helped keep me focused. The more focused I am the less I tend to mope.

xxxxx

Hope you feel better soon!

[Jenga]

That sounds really tough on you! Does your Husband know how you are feeling? You really need some time out for yourself. You are a mum and wife but first and foremost you are a person, not a robot. I'm guessing the last thing you need when feeling like this is a needy husband. Could your husband or family member look after your little one so you can get some time out on the weekend? Can your husband help out a bit more around the house? Hopefully you can get some more support! Hugs!

[Honeymoonbub]

First of all big hugs! Times like these are really tough! And I think as mums we have all been there.

I know I kind of go through phases like this where I feel like I just can't do/give anymore. I have just had two sick kids in and out of hospital and it really gets to you after a while when your life seems like its about everyone else. Of course we put our kids first, but sometimes you just feel so drained!

My first suggestion is to work on the sleep. Everything is worse if you can't get enough sleep. It affects everything you do and how you feel. Maybe speak to your gp for options or google relaxation techniques. Can someone take your two year old for a night, or even just an afternoon?

Secondly, get out of the house. Although you may not feel like it, getting out is a great thing. Do something that you love doing with your DS. Have some fun with him. Beach, park, walk, ride - anything that will make you both smile again.

Someone once told me that being a mum means life was like a big bucket, and your kids and your hubby each have their own hole in the bottom of it. Out poors your love, energy etc from the holes (which is great), but if you don't spend time filling up the bucket you will just end up feeling empty and have nothing to give the kids. Write a list of things that make you happy and make a way to make it happen. If you like shopping then put your DS to bed early on late night shopping night and spend the evening at the shops knowing your DS is happily asleep. if you like a facial find a salon with a crèche.

If you are worried that it is beyond this, don't hesitate to see your doctor. Even if it is just to talk. X

[smootch]

I'm also pg with my second. I was medicated before falling pg with him due to multiple miscarriage but stopped them last Christmas. I feel the fears and anxiety returning but most of all the guilt. The guilt for feeling so crap at times that all I do is put the tv on. The resentment towards this pg because of it. I am now back on my Meds and hope the cloud lifts soon. My dh doesn't get it as I was so well with DS pg so this is very very different and challenging for both of us


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[jessii83]

Thank you so much for sharing and helping with lovely comments. I really appreciate it.

[jessii83]

I'm also pg with my second. I was medicated before falling pg with him due to multiple miscarriage but stopped them last Christmas. I feel the fears and anxiety returning but most of all the guilt. The guilt for feeling so crap at times that all I do is put the tv on. The resentment towards this pg because of it. I am now back on my Meds and hope the cloud lifts soon. My dh doesn't get it as I was so well with DS pg so this is very very different and challenging for both of us


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I totally understand with the feeling crappy and just turning the telly on and having a guilty feeling with this pregnancy. Its so hard.

[jfblady72]

hi

same here ..although i feel ok most of the time except a bit anxious about coping, its just my stupid DH bringing me down with his BS and i worry about HIM not coping with 2 kids, its just emotionally draining when u feel tired already from being pg and get crappy sleep every night and everyone else just sucks the life out of you...its so much harder being pg with a young active child..there is NO time to rest unless u actually have your child looked after by someone or they are in daycare for a day and u are home alone. i also find most days there is no free / me time and emotionally that takes it toll eventually. i would suggest maybe seeing a GP and getting a referral for psychologist who specilaises in PND, it should not cost much as u get most rebated on medicare. the other thing im trying to find is acivities i can take DS to after baby is born so its not left to me to keep him entertained all the time (cos i wont have the energy) after the baby comes...like playgroups / indoor play centres etc / mums groups etc ..im am hoping that i do have more energy after the baby is born cos i find that physically im just struggling through these last weeks......

[jessii83]

All this stress brings on a feeling of not going to cope with the birth of this one and the afterwards general feeding's and wakings.

To be honest im very worried about the birth as I haven't been ablee to connect 100% with this bubba.

[BaronessM]

Hi Jessie83, it does sound a bit like natal depression. The 'everything's too much, nothing's going to change' nature of your post makes me wish for you to approach your midwife for help. You really need to talk to your partner, too, as your needs need to come first right now and extra 'bedroom pressure' will only make things worse for you. At least even if he doesn't understand, it will answer some of his Q's and open up maybe some new avenues of support for you. Maybe he will understand and have some support to offer. Do you have anyone who can sit your toddler or a grandparent who can step in and grab him to give you a little 'me' time? I find when I'm depressed, I put everything else before me, as I feel I'm not worth it. You need even just a bath, a fifteen minute walk, some time EVERYDAY that is just for you, and need to rope others in to help you get it.

Even if you feel no-one can actually change these feelings, as they're yours, letting someone in on how you feel and sharing the 'burden' really can help, and that's a start. Please do get some prof help, as medication or counselling may head post-natal dep off at the pass. Here's to a speedy recovery for you. Maybe even mixing up your daily routine and being spontaneous with your toddler (if you have the brain for it) may help jog your brain into new ways of thinking. Good luck for brighter feelings.