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  1. #31
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    It was my understanding that the question was not referring to newborns but older babies, I didn't expect my dd to Learn to sleep through from birth, but as I began to encourage her she slept through no problem. It wasn't continually hard work but once the hard work was done to begin with she caught on very quickly. I think it can be taught from all ages, but some might take a little longer than others. The same as learning to read or ride a bike

    No one is saying babies that don't sleep well have horrible parents, or that their parents are not trying hard enough along with other posters simply answered the question and are now being made out as pushy and unaware of our child's development

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by andthentherewerethree View Post
    No one is saying babies that don't sleep well have horrible parents, or that their parents are not trying hard enough along with other posters simply answered the question and are now being made out as pushy and unaware of our child's development
    I have to disagree, the amount of times I've been asked if dd3 who's 5m is a 'good baby' I couldn't even keep track! My response is, ah yep... And then the follow up question is, she sleeps through right?! And I respond, nope, she's hungry I feed her, end of discussion, I get looked at in ways un mentionable! It's why I don't attend bishy mothers groups, avoid GPs who don't agree with extended BFing and so forth... Makes me upset, inadequate and insecure!




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  3. #33
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    I'm not sure to be honest, but I do know that "sleeping through" tends to be the holy grail of parenting. It seems that once your child starts "sleeping through" then you've made it.

    For the record...DD1 didnt sleep through until 15 months old, DD2 didnt sleep through until 8 months old. I cannot begin to tell you how many times it was "implied" that I was doing something wrong because they werent sleeping through earlier. It was rather bemusing that other people were more concerned about it than I was.

  4. #34
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    All babies are different & there is no magic recipe for a baby sleeping through the night.

    I would not necessarily say that it is a milestone for babies or even children to sleep through the night, however from a capability perspective they are able to sleep through the night early on - however most don't for varying reasons.

    Its a very complex area because it combines a physical need to sleep, a developing brain & body & a psychological need for comfort, security & assurance.

    Even adults wake up through the night, & go from different levels of sleep continuously so the only difference is that usually we don't cry out & ask for someone to feed us or change us when it happens.

    Sleep is just one of those things…I should know i havent had a proper one in a loooooooong time

  5. #35
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    i do hate the "oh, i taught my baby to sleep through at x weeks old"...because, it is not something that can be taught at that age...it is something they can do. It's like you cannot teach them to crawl, you can encourage them...give them a good environment to promote it....but they will not do it until they are ready.

    I have a 7 year old...he would self settle, loved sleeping alone (would not co sleep....still won't lol) but he would wake up several times a night...and did till he was about 2.

    I have a 18 month old...is a shocker. has the same bedtime routine each night...but can take from 10 mins to 3 hours to settle (with me or DH in the room with her, she LOVES co sleeping lol). She then will vary from waking every 40 minutes to sleeping in 7-8 hour stints. She often wakes and then resettles herself...but just as often wakes and cannot settle for some random unknown reason.

    With both kids, i have tried lots...everything except letting the poor bubba's "cry it out" or try "control cry/comfort" as i don't think it is good psychologically.

    I work with my kids, i give them a nice calm safe environment and i fully believe they will sleep through when they are ready.

    My DS, from 2, has slept 12 hours "most nights", sometimes he still needs a cuddle and i go to him. He has a drink bottle on his bedside table cause he still sometimes needs a drink, he is old enough to do that without me now lol.

    DD does not eat/drink over night...i have offered a bottle of water but she doesn't want it. She wants a cuddle...or to balance cleverly on my head lol

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  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovehats View Post
    I'm so glad that you started this thread. Sleeping through is a big topic in my house at the moment, with DS turning 6 months DH is now wondering "why doesn't our baby sleep through the night yet???" He goes to bed at 7.30 and wakes once for a feed about 3am and wakes again at 7.30am. We have had a bedtime routine from 3 weeks and have a consistent day routine and he can self settle easily. I feel that is very good, but not quite good enough for DH, as "everyone else's baby sleeps through" :-(

    I asked about this at my mothers group the other week and most mums told me that their baby sleeps through, and then when I exclaimed "wow that much be so nice for you to sleep" 2 or 3 said, well I still have to get up x times to put their dummy back in, but they stay in bed for 12 hours... lol.
    What really?! That doesn't count lol. My children were born to rebel against sleep. It really isn't something I did. I LOVE sleep. I am not a fan of middle of the night antics. Luckkily I go to an awesome mothers group where nobody is competitive or tricky like others have described. If anything, everyone let's me get away with sitting down more lately cos they know I'm getting the least sleep.. But they all like to pipe in with their funny stories about sleep deprivation. Mums should stick together, not aim to outdo each other

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    I think both.

    Babies will eventually sleep through in their own time, but you can definitely 'teach' them to sleep through. If you ignore a baby's cry, they will learn not to bother, and will stop waking if they know no-one will come. Thats why books such as 'Save our Sleep' have such success- because they work.

    I'm not in any way saying it a a good thing (not saying its bad either but not for me), and its not what I do with my kids, but I know MANY people who swear by these methods and it does seem to work.

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    I think both.

    Babies will eventually sleep through in their own time, but you can definitely 'teach' them to sleep through. If you ignore a baby's cry, they will learn not to bother, and will stop waking if they know no-one will come. Thats why books such as 'Save our Sleep' have such success- because they work.

    I'm not in any way saying it a a good thing (not saying its bad either but not for me), and its not what I do with my kids, but I know MANY people who swear by these methods and it does seem to work.
    that is a good point annabella.

    In a sense we can teach babies not to bother (as behaviour is learned), or we can try to take away the reasons for crying where possible & teach them to settle themselves - in that sense they can learn skills to sleep themselves. But them learning these skills is also dependant on their individual capacity & different developmental stage….so in essence it would have to be a combination of both & a good reason why not one particular method works for all children.


 

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