Crotchety 3yo and crocodile tears.

**TripleTime** · 15-03-2012 14:28

Originally Posted by Lucy in the Sky

I guarantee if you were in most of our shoes, you would not be able to sit down with your son and explain anything! Seriously. DS goes from happy to nutcase in 10 seconds flat. If you try to talk to him you get "Don't say that" at the top of his lungs. If I squat to look him in the eye I get "Don't sit down, stand up Mummy". The crying is so loud he literally cannot hear me and any gentle, pleasant, firm or stern attempts to correct or coerce or negotiate or discipline go unheeded, or sometimes escalate the screaming.

You forgot the the 'don't look at me' 'go away, I don't like you' & my fave of all time '*slams door* get out of my way, I'm going to my room'.
All comes from my almost 3yo's.

**Pregnor** · 15-03-2012 15:18

Originally Posted by Lucy in the Sky

(Hysterical crazed laughter). The timing of this thread couldn't have been better! DS was such a well behaved 2 year old. You could always negotiate with him, explain a situation, calm thing down with a cuddle... now we are in MELTDOWN mode. The tiniest thing will set him off (today it was "I want to wash my hands myself. Don't turn the tap on mummy". - even though it was too tight for him to turn on himself). Then once the screaming-crying starts there is nothing you can do. If I so much as move my arm in the wrong direction it escalates and escalates and can go on for hours. God knows what the neighbours think.
Glad to hear all the mummies of 3 year olds in the same boat. I can't tell you what a comfort it is! Hugs to anyone else going through it too!!!

It's really tough!

I don't think you understand the extent of the wobblies most of us are dealing with! It's fantastic that you are able to stop the carrying on with your son (I really hope it stays that way for you, and level 10 isn't around the corner). But if you can, then that is not the kind of meltdown the rest of us are referring to!!!

I guarantee if you were in most of our shoes, you would not be able to sit down with your son and explain anything! Seriously. DS goes from happy to nutcase in 10 seconds flat. If you try to talk to him you get "Don't say that" at the top of his lungs. If I squat to look him in the eye I get "Don't sit down, stand up Mummy". The crying is so loud he literally cannot hear me and any gentle, pleasant, firm or stern attempts to correct or coerce or negotiate or discipline go unheeded, or sometimes escalate the screaming.

I'm sorry but he actually does have these meltdowns, it has taken a lot of work to get to this point. I was trying to be helpful by suggesting you do not let it get to the point they are unable to control themselves.

In the event of a full melt down I take him to his room and sit and wait for him to be calm enough to talk about it. In the event of 'i dont like you, dont look at me etc' I leave him to it.

**Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**

**Pregnor** · 15-03-2012 15:21

If they are that far past it, my principle is to not but into the drama

**Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**

**madjedjjlill** · 15-03-2012 15:39

I know I will probably get my head bitten off but if my 3 year old behaved like that they would of got a smack on the bum.

**NancyBlackett** · 15-03-2012 15:50

Ifit is any comfort to those of you with 3yos who have just 'flipped a switch' and turned into crazed monsters, DD went through about two weeks just before and over Christmas where she was a hellcat. Very similar to the behaviours you have described.

We were completely at a loss because she had previously been quite delightful as a rule.

Anyway, it seems it was just a development thing and she came out the other side - much to our relief. I don't know if it was sensory, mental or physical or a combination, but it obviously affected her.

Hope this is the case for you too, OP.

**tootiredtosleep** · 15-03-2012 16:14

Dd2 is just like that, she has always been difficult though. We have major screaming meltdowns most days, she will even tell me she is "going to Big W to get a new Mum". Ouch.

2yr old tantys are just the warm up - 3's are so much worse.

Guest · 15-03-2012 17:35

My 2 yr old already displays this behavior so I can only imagine what I'm in for.
Great advice though Pregnor, gentle talking and removing him from the situation is already helping. His meltdowns can get pretty bad

**missie_mack** · 15-03-2012 17:52

Just as a side thought, whilst it is common wouldn't hurt to check for worms.
My DS could be cantankerous at times too

**happygrl** · 15-03-2012 18:01

Originally Posted by tootiredtosleep

Dd2 is just like that, she has always been difficult though. We have major screaming meltdowns most days, she will even tell me she is "going to Big W to get a new Mum". Ouch.

2yr old tantys are just the warm up - 3's are so much worse.

Going to big w. that made me lol
DS is only 16 months so I've still got all that to come.

Hugs for everyone going through this!!!

**sweetseven** · 15-03-2012 19:46

Originally Posted by Pregnor

I'm sorry but he actually does have these meltdowns, it has taken a lot of work to get to this point. I was trying to be helpful by suggesting you do not let it get to the point they are unable to control themselves.

In the event of a full melt down I take him to his room and sit and wait for him to be calm enough to talk about it. In the event of 'i dont like you, dont look at me etc' I leave him to it.

**Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**

It is great that you've been able to find a strategy that works for you. I have the problem that it wont help in a single instance, and I dont have the time available to consistently apply that approach. I try to ignore her behaviours as much as possible, but I do still need to provide her with the necessites she needs (such as food, baths, seatbelts, etc).