Crotchety 3yo and crocodile tears.

[sweetseven]

My little 3yo has always been so well behaved and helpful, but the last few weeks (starting at about 3yr1mo) she has been cranky.

The slightest little thing will upset her for an extended period.

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One day, we were getting her breakfast. Miss3 fetched the weatbix and her bowl and put her weatbix in her bowl. Then whilst Miss3 was fetching the spoon, Miss5 got the milk out of the fridge and I poured the milk into her bowl.

She started screaming so loudly that the neighbour jumped the back fence to see what was wrong with the child.

She continued to scream for a further half hour and refused to eat her breakfast.

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One day the dress she wanted to wear was in the dirty washing basket, so she couldn't wear it. She refused everything else I offerred her, and when I gave up and dressed her in something, she pulled it off and ran around naked, screaming, for four hours. Until finally she decided she was cold and allowed me to dress her in something else.

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When we arrive somewhere in the car, someone will go to get her out of her seat, and she'll object and nominate a different person to get her out. She'll scream every time anyone she didn't nominate goes near her, and refuse to get out until her nominated person assists her.

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There are many other instances, but those are the most memorable.

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It really does seem that she is trying to assert her independance, and going about it the wrong way.

[the girls mum]

Bahahaha sorry to laugh but omg she sounds a lot like my 3 yo on her 'i can do it days' - sorry not much help but I def think its an age and indepence thing!

I usually pick my fights so its not too much of me saying no or trying to help with things she can do if that makes sense?

I let her dress herself now and pick her clothes which sometimes makes it look like she is homeless haha but I just go with it.

She is 3.5 now and a bit calmer. xx

Goodluck x

[Pregnor]

My son does similar things. Its really hard isnt it?!

I just try and ignore the behavior the best I can, and try and talk to him about whats wrong, and why he is upset. i.e. with the weetbix, i would have taken him into his room, given him a cuddle and said something like 'im sorry that you didnt get to put the milk on your weetbix today, but its already done. you can do it tomorrow ok? but only if you can calm down and eat your breakfast, can you calm down for mummy?' and maybe talk about something we are doing later in the day that he needs to behave f

[Pregnor]

oh and there are lots of threats of leaving him in the car/at home, taking him to school naked etc.

[KatieKitten]

Omg you are describing my life right now ! That's exactly how my 3yo Is behaving!

I've tried focussing on her good behavior. Seems a little better

[sweetseven]

With regards to picking fights, well that isn't really possible at the moment, because she'll go off about everything.

I get changed out of my nightie into day clothes, and she screams, "No! I want you wear different clothes!".

She just asked for toast. There was no bread left in the fridge, so I got a loaf out of the freezer, all the while she is screaming that she wants bread from the fridge not the freezer. I try to explain there is none in the fridge but she wont listen.
I then put the bread into the microwave to defrost. Again she screams because it was supposed to go in the toaster. I try to explain that I need to defrost it to cut it before it can go in the toaster. Then I go to cut the bread. I ask her how many slices she wants, and she says two. I cut off the crust, then cut her first slice, then proceed to cut her second slice and she starts screaming, "two, not three! I not want three! I only want two!". I hand the two slices to her Dad to put them in the toaster, whilst I cut the rest of the loaf so it will be easy for everyone else. "No, not Dad put it in. You put it in." Then she realises that I am cutting more bread. "No, I not want you have one." I finish cutting the bread and put it away in the fridge, then get her toast out of the toaster. She is pleasantly surprised to see only two slices coming out of the toaster - she genuinely expected it to be three - and this calms her down somewhat. She specifies what she wants on it (butter, vegemite, peanut butter, and honey) and I comply. She objects to the jar of vegemite I use, pointing to the empty jar and insisting she wants that one instead. At least she accepts the explanation that the other jar is empty this time. Finally she is given her toast. She examines it and complains about a bit of crust missing off one corner (which pulled off when I was cutting it) and thus refuses to eat it.

At least this time, the objection didn't last, and she is eating her toast.

[Pregnor]

To be honest I would have stopped the carrying on before it got that far. I would have told him if he was going to behave like that, he would not be getting any breakfast. I would have sat down with him and explained that that is not how we speak to people, and if he wants me to do something nice for him, he needs to ask nicely and be patient. If he can't be nice he needs to go back to bed and have some more sleep. Sometimes I have to take him kicking and screaming into his bedroom. I will wait in there for him to calm. If he cant calm down I just leave him in there for a little while.

I know its different for different kids though.

[chookfeed]

This is my first forum post, but I couldn't read this and not reply as it sounds so much like my 3 yr old daughter's behaviour. She has been throwing tantrums if I open the car door to let her in, as sometimes she likes to do it all by herself. She also has tantrums over me opening the door to put the cat out/let the cat in as she wants to do it herself. She has also refused to wear certain clothes, but then goes on to pick the most inappropriate clothes eg jumper and long pants in 35 degree heat!

Those are just a few of the many screaming fits she has thrown trying to prove her independence.

[Lucy in the Sky]

(Hysterical crazed laughter). The timing of this thread couldn't have been better! DS was such a well behaved 2 year old. You could always negotiate with him, explain a situation, calm thing down with a cuddle... now we are in MELTDOWN mode. The tiniest thing will set him off (today it was "I want to wash my hands myself. Don't turn the tap on mummy". - even though it was too tight for him to turn on himself). Then once the screaming-crying starts there is nothing you can do. If I so much as move my arm in the wrong direction it escalates and escalates and can go on for hours. God knows what the neighbours think.
Glad to hear all the mummies of 3 year olds in the same boat. I can't tell you what a comfort it is! Hugs to anyone else going through it too!!! It's really tough!

To be honest I would have stopped the carrying on before it got that far. I would have told him if he was going to behave like that, he would not be getting any breakfast. I would have sat down with him and explained that that is not how we speak to people, and if he wants me to do something nice for him, he needs to ask nicely and be patient. If he can't be nice he needs to go back to bed and have some more sleep. Sometimes I have to take him kicking and screaming into his bedroom. I will wait in there for him to calm. If he cant calm down I just leave him in there for a little while.

I know its different for different kids though.

I don't think you understand the extent of the wobblies most of us are dealing with! It's fantastic that you are able to stop the carrying on with your son (I really hope it stays that way for you, and level 10 isn't around the corner). But if you can, then that is not the kind of meltdown the rest of us are referring to!!!

I guarantee if you were in most of our shoes, you would not be able to sit down with your son and explain anything! Seriously. DS goes from happy to nutcase in 10 seconds flat. If you try to talk to him you get "Don't say that" at the top of his lungs. If I squat to look him in the eye I get "Don't sit down, stand up Mummy". The crying is so loud he literally cannot hear me and any gentle, pleasant, firm or stern attempts to correct or coerce or negotiate or discipline go unheeded, or sometimes escalate the screaming.

[TripleTime]

Sounds so much like our house.

A does the XY must do it, usually DH being told off by her & me having to do what ever it is she's melting over.