A close family friend of mine (my mums best friend) is a psychologist and is a very intelligent, knowledgeable woman and is a mother of two children. She sees my 2.5yr old DS about once a month for an hour or so, usually when we happen to all be at my parents house and there are 6 adults all interracting with DS (who obviously is the centre of attention there and is usually kept entertained and happy). She told my mum, who was talking about the issues I'm having with DS *see below*, that she wants to have a "serious talking to"to me about not labelling DS as anything other than a "normal two year old". I found it infuriatingly belittling that she thinks she has the right to treat me like some kind of idiot who doesn't know my own child and where he fits into the spectrum of toddler normality. If she comes over to have her "serious talk" with me I think I might slap her. I feel humiliated that she obviously thinks I'm being ridiculous and over dramatic when I'm not.
DS is has some behavioural issues where he gets into a kind of hyper-naughty manic state, particularly around other children, and will be extremely rough, pushing, hitting, punching, ramming, throwing things at and making other kids cry for his own entertainment. Because he seems to be on another planet during these times he is unfocused and therefore disciplining him is ineffective - its like talking to a child who doesn't understand english! My closest friend says it looks like is on drugs when he is like this, like an adult looks on speed - eyes glazed over and going 100 miles an hour, being as noisy, fast, rough, naughty as possible. He also has huge tantrums at home, has no self control, lashes out, is deliberately naughty very regularly (tackles or pushes over his baby sister all day every day, hits me every day several times, shouts in DD's face to make her cry, jumps on the lounge, slams doors, wrecks his train set etc). I am a SAHM and also a foster carer and I like to think I didn't come down in the last shower and know a little about what is average and normal, and what is not. I believe, as does my DH and all our friends who also have children and spend time around my DS, that he is on the extreme end of the 'normal' spectrum.
I am just going to have to say to this well -meaing friend that, with all due respect, she only sees him for a short period of time in an environment where he is almost always well behaved (at my parents house where it is a novelty with no other children and a billion things for him to do with adults doting on his every whim) and doesn't see him at his normal or worst self, so STFU. No, no, can't say the last bit so let me try again! I respect her opion but I'll have to take some video footage and then she will be qualified to tell me what she thinks about him.