Autism, spirited, or just a bit different?

[Johanna82]

DS is 4 in June. I work at the daycare he goes to a couple of times a week and I got called in to speak to the director today. She used to work with special needs children and was also his teacher last year so knows him well.

She said that she is concerned with his behaviour and how he might deal with prep next year. We've always thought he was a bit "full on" as in he doesn't stop, lots of full on tantrums, very defiant when he wants to be, I can simply not get him to do something if he doesn't want to or can't take him out without difficulty. But he is also very affectionate and loving, very sweet and very smart when he is interested. The director's thoughts were that he might be mildly autistic (although she said she is not a doctor and doesn't want to label him). She has seen signs since she met him as in a speech delay and unusual attachment to his dummy (which he easily got rid of when he was ready). He just gets up in group time to do his own thing, has a short attention span, has some issues socially he is off in his own world sometimes and doesn't always want to participate and she is concerned as to how he will go in a mainstream school next year. We are wanting him to go to Steiner anyway which she agreed would be great for him.

I guess I want to view other's thoughts? She is recommending me a paed to go and see. I'm scared as I'm not sure what the process is? Part of me thinks it might be good to get some advice on how to deal with his behaviour as I feel we can't discipline him as if he has his mind set on something theres no changing it, the other part of me thinks I dont want to label him and go through lots of testing if he is fine and just spirited or strong willed.

I appreciated talking to her but am now a bit scared as I'm not sure what to do... Thoughts please?

[Babymay]

Firstly hugs - this cannot be a fun time for you. I don't have any personals experience here, but bumping this up as I know heaps of people here do. What I did want to say though is apparently autism is considered to be on a 'spectrum' meaning that there are very mild cases through to more severe. Sounds like if anything, your lovely boy would only be at the mild end of the scale.

Hopefully someone can give you some advice on what the procedures in testing and paeds appointments etc are all about.

[Johanna82]

Thank you Babymay

[Zombie_eyes]

Hello, both of my sons have autism, so ive been through the investigation process twice now.

My advice is, gp, then paed.

The paed will tell you everything from there.

For us it was gp, paed, psych assessment, speech assessement (they have language disorders which we already knew but it was still needed) and an ot assessment. Then back to the paed for final dx.

It can be a lengthy and expensive process, but finding out for sure is definitely better than letting it go on and on and then finding out. The cut off age for funding is a dx before the age of six. (we missed out woth ds#1..and the financial strain has been quite high)

Goodluck if it turns out to be nothing, great, if it turns out to be something, the earlier you get help the better it will be for him.

[Johanna82]

Thanks Diamond Eyes. I guess we aren't sure what to think at the moment it's hard cause we are looking at things like his behaviour and mannerisms a bit differently since the chat. Whether thats a good or bad thing I'm not sure. But we will try to take things step by step and see how what the paed says

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[babyla]

Everything diamond eyes said. From a school perspective, getting started now with all the diagnosis required (if it is autism) is a massive benefit for when he does start school. Waiting lists at schools for applying for funding etc can be a long process, this can be alleviated by having an earlier diagnosis, which can greatly benefit the child and their family.
Hope this helps.

[onkybear]

I have been where you are now and first off My mum approached me about dd and didnt think anything of it until the ent sent us to a pead. It turned out to be the best thing we did. Look up the raising children website. They have a special section for Autism and it explains all the different area of the spectrum, signs etc. I would think that if the director has called you in she must have a geniune concern, and from what you written I think she may be on to something. Next step is gp to get a referal to a developmental pead and go from there. Goodluck and we are all here if you need anything

[Johanna82]

I've checked out the site onkybear and I guess I can now see why the director would be concerned. As hard as it is as it's still sinking in we will be going to the GP ASAP to get a referral to the paed the director highly recommended. We just want to get the ball rolling so we can find out what is going on...

It's great to know we have support here!

[onkybear]

When you first hear it, it make the world spin. There is the yes no maybe tug of war. The comes the but this kids does that and they dont have asd. It is all normal to feel all of those things and many more. But the earlier intervention starts the better. The more you understand asd the more you will start to understand why your son does what he does. Pretty much every situation now I can understand why dd is doing the behaviour she is. It has made things so much easier. My best nest advice it make sure you and dh are on the same path. Talk it out. You will need his help and support, and he will need yours.

[Johanna82]

onkybear that is exactly how I'm feeling. This morning I looked at him and thought no it can't be it's just normal 3 year old behaviour, then at work today I'm looking at all the other kids thinking he does this and that and they aren't diagnosed... Going round in circles really. But DH and I agree that we will get him looked at and go from there. The GP is booked in Monday so will see.

Thank you your words mean alot

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