Do you keep quiet about your gifted child?

[mim1]

To all of you, scream it from the roof tops, not saying something continues the stigma around it

Thanks daysta. You are right of course, but how to say it remains a challenge. For young gifted kids I find other parents (and teachers) automatically assume I've pushed my ds and it's all just in my imagination. I suppose people who didn't get 100% on tests throughout school naturally envy those that do get that 'magic' number. Ironically as someone who got lots of 100%'s, it's not really a great marker of skill or overall ability in my opinion ... there's a lot more to a person than numbers .

[faroutbrusselsprout]

To all of you, scream it from the roof tops, not saying something continues the stigma around it

You're so right. Just hard to find the right way to do it. I know most people will genuinely be happy for him and say "well of course he got chosen!"

[happygirl1982]

To all of you, scream it from the roof tops, not saying something continues the stigma around it

This!!!

[pumpkinears]

I don't think I have a 'gifted' child... however I do let others know that Julian put together a 100 piece puzzle, by himself, which he'd never seen before, without even a picture to guide him and it only took him about 7 minutes...

He's 3.5yrs old

And now I've just told all of you

That's amazing!!

[River Song]

we have really struggled with this...i talk to my sister and my mum..and 1 of my close friends...other than that, i play it down.

DS was bullied severely in prep and year 1...he came home in tears often.

One of my sadest moments was when he came home half way through prep saying he was going to pretend he couldn't read/do maths from then on because the other kids were calling him names and refusing to play with him. He was also hit/kicked/choked in the playground. There were MANY meetings at school...the most memorable was when i was sat down by the head teacher and told that he didn't fit in because he was different and would most likely not fit in with the other kids until at least year 5/6.

ANYWAY...change of head teacher so i gave it another year...his teacher last year was fab. Gave him loads of work that challenged him, projects to for him to do at home that he got to hand in and then take to the head for some praise, she kept an ultra close eye on him and stamped out most of the bullying.

This year...we went backwards again even though the school launched a "gifted and talented program". The class teacher just did not get DS...even though he finished year 2 maths in year 1 and was working on year 3 work, she made him start again. She wanted him to go back to level 18 readers when he was at level 40...she told him he had to prove himself and that his writing was too messy (he has poor fine motor skills) to be good at English.

Anyway...the gifted an talented program was pretty rubbish, less than his year 1 teacher did with him. The did have extension club 1 afternoon after school and this was his highlight. The teacher of that group was so excited by what he could do...so i loved taking to her about him.

So...all of this...and i am still trying to answer the question lol

I have pulled him out of school and found a school dedicated to gifted and talented Education. Excitingly, it's a public school so i am saving thousands in school fees! Their programs are amazing and have a proven track record of delivering...and they have a support group for parents of g&t kids...they know how hard it is!

He will be homeschooled for 6 months as they cannot take him till next year and this has led me to talk more about what he can do (because everyone wants toknow why he is being homeschooled) and I am doing OK with it. I cannot wait to see how much we can do when we are home together...he always learns rapidly in the school holidays so i am not setting any limits on what we do and will just take him as far as he wants to go.

[mim1]

smileygirl ... I didn't realise there were any public primary schools that specialise in gifted kids. Sounds great. His experience at his current school sounds dreadful though to you & him. There are community support groups for parents of kids with g&t kids, sounds like you might benefit from that. Go to www.giftedresources.org and they usually have info in their newsletter about support groups available.

[bumMum]

can I just pop in and say something? dont hate on me..
I think its really sad if a school or family cant acknowledge academic acheivements.. yes.. Never noticed that before. My schools always gave awards for high acheivers of all sorts and had the accelerated classes.
however.. sorry.. but it seems like lately every second person thinks their two year old is gifted iykwim. how do people decide their child is gifted?
I dont doubt that some children are "ahead".. I was always ahead as a child in everything.. and then around highschool my peers caught up..
ALSO.. sometimes people who have gifted children IQ wise.. seem to fail to realise their children are emotionally/socially quite delayed or lack confidence and those types of skills.. which are also really important.
my sons school gives awards for doing well in class, being kind to friends, sports, being helpful in the community..
I was always taught that bragging of any kind only serves your own ego and I think thats sticks me.

[2girls1boyplus1]

can I just pop in and say something? dont hate on me..
I think its really sad if a school or family cant acknowledge academic acheivements.. yes.. Never noticed that before. My schools always gave awards for high acheivers of all sorts and had the accelerated classes.
however.. sorry.. but it seems like lately every second person thinks their two year old is gifted iykwim. how do people decide their child is gifted?
I dont doubt that some children are "ahead".. I was always ahead as a child in everything.. and then around highschool my peers caught up..
ALSO.. sometimes people who have gifted children IQ wise.. seem to fail to realise their children are emotionally/socially quite delayed or lack confidence and those types of skills.. which are also really important.
my sons school gives awards for doing well in class, being kind to friends, sports, being helpful in the community..
I was always taught that bragging of any kind only serves your own ego and I think thats sticks me.

At a glance from an outsider looking in, this ^^ would seem to be why people are hesitant about talking about their gifted children.. :-(

[Girl X]

can I just pop in and say something? dont hate on me..
I think its really sad if a school or family cant acknowledge academic acheivements.. yes.. Never noticed that before. My schools always gave awards for high acheivers of all sorts and had the accelerated classes.
however.. sorry.. but it seems like lately every second person thinks their two year old is gifted iykwim. how do people decide their child is gifted?
I dont doubt that some children are "ahead".. I was always ahead as a child in everything.. and then around highschool my peers caught up..
ALSO.. sometimes people who have gifted children IQ wise.. seem to fail to realise their children are emotionally/socially quite delayed or lack confidence and those types of skills.. which are also really important.
my sons school gives awards for doing well in class, being kind to friends, sports, being helpful in the community..
I was always taught that bragging of any kind only serves your own ego and I think thats sticks me.

I think that to be called gifted there are specific assessments that have to made. I don't think you can just decide it yourself.

I also think those scenarios you mention are true. BUT I don't think that was really the point of the thread. My understanding was that it was about parents of gifted children feeling that they can't tell anyone about their child's achievements, as people immediately sneer at them/ shoot them down. Whereas if those achievements were sporting ones (for example) then everyone would be cheering them on. It's the old thing of it not being 'cool' to be clever.

And I guess you could probably call it bragging if a parent wants to talk about something great their kid has done. However, don't we all do this? I'm not talking about oneupmanship - I just mean excitedly sharing something because you're proud of someone. I think it's sad if people can't do this because others are jealous/ critical/ mean spirited.

DD is only 2, so I'm definitely not announcing her as a gifted child. However, she has been ahead of her peers in a number of areas. She can read some words, she can spell a few, she talks in sentences, and she's had a huge vocabulary from just over 12mths on. And I do the worst thing ever. I'm so desperate to not be seen as one of "THOSE" mums that I not only don't mention it when she does something new (apart from to my mum and dad or DH), but when other people bring up how well she talks, or something like that, I play it down and then start talking about some problem I've had with her (which mostly is exaggerated/ not really accurate), just to make her sound normal, and to make the other person feel better.

Then I feel guilty for having let her down by doing that.

[bumMum]

At a glance from an outsider looking in, this ^^ would seem to be why people are hesitant about talking about their gifted children.. :-(

I totally agree. I think there is a definite difference between sharing and bragging.. and I do think some people can be mean spirited and jealous.. and yes.. unfortunately being clever is not as "cool" as it should be..
Perhaps these people who are a bit insensitive have also encountered too much competitiveness amongst parents though.
it certainly does exist in sports and bragging about your childs sporting abilities does grate on the nerves of other parents too... my dad was an absolute nightmare for this.. He took "pride" in his son to an extreme place.
Anyway.. didnt mean to derail. I think people should be able to share their excitement about their child being clever. I just think that some people do take sharing to the extreme and are blind to the fact that to others it can be irritating too..