View Poll Results: Who do you tell about your gifted child's achievements?

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  • Immediate family only (childs parents/siblings)

    7 33.33%
  • Extended family only (childs grandparents/aunts/uncles)

    5 23.81%
  • Family & a few friends

    4 19.05%
  • Anyone who is in my childs life

    6 28.57%
  • Other

    3 14.29%
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  1. #1
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    Default Do you keep quiet about your gifted child?

    Do you keep quiet about your gifted child? Do you talk around your family, but not your friends?

    Most importantly how do you keep your childs self esteem high and yet not talk about their achievements?

    I know it was an issue for me at school. I got an academic scholarship at my school and yet never got publicly acknowledged for it. Top sportspeople got to get trophies/etc up the front of the school, but they didn't celebrate the students with academic potential. Their reason ... they didn't want us teased.

  2. #2
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    I don't think I have a 'gifted' child... however I do let others know that Julian put together a 100 piece puzzle, by himself, which he'd never seen before, without even a picture to guide him and it only took him about 7 minutes...

    He's 3.5yrs old

    And now I've just told all of you

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    Anyone really.

    I am proud of my daughter - people would boast about their kid if they came first in some sporting competition, and nobody would care. Somehow it's less socially acceptable to say "my kid is so smart and I'm so proud," but I don't care. She is, and I am.

    I post about how awesome she is on Facebook, and I'll talk about it to people who have never even met her (but who know me). I also tell family and friends.

    The ILs like to pretend it's because she's "one of hte older kids in her grade," because SIL's daughter (a month older, but in the grade above because of that) isn't doing as well academically. I'm not saying it to say, "my daughter is better," though... just my "I am proud of my girl." They feel like they have to talk down her achievements... meh. I still go on about it. I'm still proud.

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    I only talk about it to my dad and within our little family. I learned very early on to not say anything about DD's special talents. Sadly having a very bright child well beyond their peers is taboo to discuss. If your child is brilliant at sport, has beautiful eyes or is a great singer not an eyelid is bat when a proud parent discusses it. People say wow, isn't that cool! You might have a future Mariah Carey there. Mention your child at 7 is doing year 6 and 7 spelling and reading adults books and you are met with either the "ahhh huh " or "Your child isn't really gifted and you think your child is better than my child".... ahhh no, I didn't mean that at all

    So when people ask how she is going at school I smile and say she's doing well and that's it. I'm so proud of her yet I feel I can't really share it with anyone

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    I'm constantly telling people how smart my DS is, and how proud (and sometimes frustrated) I can be of him, but I think it's just first time mummy pride so people give me some slack. However, our childcare worker believes DS is advanced for his age, my family know this and a few friends (cos I'm proud) but one 'friend' in particular became quite rude about it, but she is like that with most things so I choose to ignore her!

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    I find it's easier to talk about with my teaching colleagues, especially as I have concerns about whether or not he's pushed enough.

    I am concerned about his being teased / bullied etc (as he has been) but he also has social difficulties as he has been accelerated a year.

    He is also fortunate that his 3 elder sisters were also quite bright (though they're not to his standard) and thus other kids and parents expect him to be academic.

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    Thanks for your thoughts. Keep them coming.

    I suppose the tall poppy syndrome is an Australian issue isn't it? And academic tall poppies are much more likely to be 'attacked'. I wonder how we can tackle it.

    I also suppose that as children get older and they get so much further ahead of their peers it's quite evident. Most people don't know if a 5 month old is doing things that a usual 7 month does. But most people will know that a 4 year old who is reading books confidently is clearly advanced ... of course they'll then jump to conclusions and think that we (as parents) have clearly pushed our child (when, with gifted children it's often the child who leads the way).

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    DS has just been accepted into a gifted program... We've always known he was (as did people that met him), but it's never been "official" like this.
    I am just so proud and ecstatic that it has finally been recognised and he is able to access such a brilliant program. However I have only told family and another mum who's child had also been selected. I'd love to shout it from the Facebook rooftops but I won't, I'd hate to think that people thought I thought my DS was in anyway 'better' than their child just because he's above average intelligence...
    Last edited by faroutbrusselsprout; 27-06-2012 at 12:17.

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    To all of you, scream it from the roof tops, not saying something continues the stigma around it

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  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by daysta112 View Post
    To all of you, scream it from the roof tops, not saying something continues the stigma around it
    Thanks daysta. You are right of course, but how to say it remains a challenge. For young gifted kids I find other parents (and teachers) automatically assume I've pushed my ds and it's all just in my imagination. I suppose people who didn't get 100% on tests throughout school naturally envy those that do get that 'magic' number. Ironically as someone who got lots of 100%'s, it's not really a great marker of skill or overall ability in my opinion ... there's a lot more to a person than numbers .


 

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