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  1. #1
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    Default Oh, just bite her back!

    No. I really don't want to.

    I gather that people believe it will teach them not to bite, because they think if the child understands that it hurts, they'll stop. And technically, if the child is old enough to understand, yes, perhaps it will work.

    But my daughter is 18 months old, and I am lead to understand she doesn't yet fathom that there is a universe outside herself.

    I have had so many people/friends tell me to bite her back this week.

    My arms have bruises all over, and when I said I hated the idea of hurting her, and potentially bruising her, my friend said 'look at *your* arms?!'.

    Anyway... What methods do you lovely hubbers use to discourage biting?

    She bit another girl in the playground the other day and I was mortified and just apologized and left. (It's no excuse, but it was unlike her, and the girl she bit had hit her in the face leading up to the bite).

    I was saying 'No! No biting.' and putting her down. It was not working, she was trying to get out of my arms when she bit, so it was getting her what she wanted. So the last 2 days I have shown her my bite, and told her 'ouch! Mummy is so sad. That really hurt!' to which she kisses my ouch and pats me, and hugs me. The biting has reduced a tad, but I'm still concerned about when/if (please no!) she bites a friend again.

  2. #2
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    Subscribing for interest.

    Ds1 never bit and ds2 is well and truelly teething and from day 1 I have scolded him when he has gone near flesh. It seems to have worked because he now doesn't attempt it.

    My best friends daughter was a terrible biter but she only bit at daycare, we think it was an attention seeking thing and she would do it if she wanted something (her speech is delayed) or she would do it if another child was annoying her. Daycare would remove her and put her in the corner which didnt help the situation, just made her feel excluded and left out. She has never bitten out of daycare!

  3. #3
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    My thinking is that If the parents bites the kids back is it really showing them not to do it? or is it showing them its OK to do because mum and dad do it to them?

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    Arusaamatus  (14-03-2012)

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    My dd was a terrible biter, she not only bit others but herself. It started about the same age as your bub. We tried everything from talking to putting nasty tasting stuff on us and her. She is 2 now and all I can say is she will grow out of it. I found that if she bit me if I put her down and turned my back on her that had the best effect but truth be told biting her back didn't work and nothing else did, my dd is very advanced for her age and I found that it was her frustration for not being able to communicate properly was her trigger. It will get better I promise

  6. #5
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    If she bites you scream as if you are in pain, it will shock her. And if you are home simply put her down after you scream and tell her no and walk away.
    Might take a few goes but it's what I did with my twins and they've never bitten since! They were roughly the same age...

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    GothChick  (14-03-2012)

  8. #6
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    I found my DD bit us a lot before she was able to talk. It was pure frustration and she grew out of it. I couldn't understand why anyone would suggest biting a child back to 'show them' it hurts. We would put her in time out until she had a chance to calm down. I do the same now she is going through a phase of hitting and scratching

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    Biting them back is a foolish! It's teaching them its okay to do because Mum does it too!

    DD went through the biting stage and it was a nightmare! I was sore and cranky and at my wits end! The only thing that helped was putting her down and ignoring her.

    A few times I put her in her cubby house (it was inside at the time) for a relax! I never closed the door, just put her in and told her he could come out when she was going to be nice.

    Biting was a game for DD she thought it was hilarious!!! So ignoring her was the best idea.

    Good luck!!

    I will add DD was an excellent communicator when she was biting.

  10. #8
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    DS 20 months has bitten me a few times and one time I did bite him back and he learned, has rarely bitten since. I explained that it hurts and showed him what ow pain meant. Though the other day at care he was bitten under the eye by another girl. It's swollen and bruised, poor tyke.

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    My boys have both bitten me (DS2 does it in a playful way). When DS1 used to bite me MIL would tell me how DP bit her once and she bit him back hard and he never did it again needless to say, biting back in my opinion is the wrong thing to do, as others have said it's just teaching them that if Mama can do it, so can they. Monkey see, monkey do.

    I eventually (many bruises on my arms later) got him to stop. I would pretend to cry and be very sad when he bit me, and he'd end up in time out if he didn't apologise. He knew it was wrong, he was about 18 months when he started it too. It just took persistence.

    When he would bite other children it was hard. I would cuddle the other child and make a fuss over them, i would then ask him to apologise (if he didn't, we'd leave and go home. If we were at home it'd be time out), and i would apologise to the childs Mama. It was embarrassing, but luckily i never had a horrible reaction from another parent.

    Good luck, it's such a tricky phase but it does pass with petsistence. Big hugs!
    Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub

  12. #10
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    That would be my mums soloution, it worked with her brother and mother but i saw my SIL do it to one of her twins who is a bad biter and it hasnt helped one bit.

    Aj has only bitten me once and it was more a playful thing that she just took a tad too far and i just said "ow, that really hurt!! would you like it if mummy bit you? no, im a good girl i dont bite my friends" and she seemed to get it.

    She got a terrible bite when she was 4 months old from a child at kindy, he basically chewed a chunk off her forehead and she got a bacterial infection, so i could never bite her.


 

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