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  1. #21
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    We haven't done god parents or anything like that but in all seriousness if something was to happen to my hubby and me my sister would get DS we have discussed that as a family. So she knows how important she is to us and DS.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovable View Post
    Off topic. I'm so sick of hearing Facebook posts from pregnant people. All they talk about is their belly, being pregnant etc! They can't post any status updates that aren't about their bellies! And I can't stand the comments that follow their announcements - the ones like "wow you're clever for falling pregnant so quick" or "wow, clever girl" !!

    I know! I'm jealous! Haha
    Haha I know I'm not jealous and all that talk still annoys me lol

  3. #23
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    You sound like such a lovely sister she is lucky to have someone like you so considerate of her feelings. I have had a lot of trouble trying for baby no 2 with m/c etc., but honestly if my sister were to fall pregnant with her 3rd I would be over the moon for her. I don't know what it is about sisters but I would truly be happy for her, other people not so much lol. My SIL and I started trying at the same time and when she concieved she got her husband to tell my husband which i was a bit annoiyed at, I felt like she saw me as some sort of monster who would blow up at her for being pregnant. I was happy for her but I had my private little cry. You say she's your best friend and I;m sure she loves you so just be honest and she will be happy for you. Good luck.

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    shelby27  (14-03-2012)

  5. #24
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    I'm in the exact same position as you, I just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and my sister has been trying to have a baby and doing IVF for 3 years now and it's starting to get her down. She knows that we're trying but it has only taken us 3 months to conceive and I'm feeling really guilty and dreading telling her. She's my sister so I know she'll be happy for us but I also know that it will upset her. I'm crossing my fingers that she will get pregnant before I tell her!

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    shelby27  (25-03-2012)

  7. #25
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    I have been on both sides and all I can say is the fact that you are aware it is a sensitive topic means that you will deal with it in the best way which will depend on whether your sus wants to talk about it or not. Personally my miscarriage was too soon when my sister fell pregnant and so we didn't talk about it. My sis did say that she felt very guilty which allowed me to assure her that I was delighted for her whilst sad for me. It was a brief convo but cleared the air so that there was nothing unsaid. Good luck xx

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  9. #26
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    i am also on the other side of things.

    my sister announced to me that she and her partner were going to start trying for a baby (huge suprise to me, had never said anything about trying before). then 2 weeks later she tells me she is pregnant.

    i was inconsolable for 2 days. she knew we had been trying for a while. i think during her pregnancy she would just forget though and it was all i heard about from her. it was made a hell of a lot harder by the fact that it was the first grandchild for the family, so it consumed everyone and it was all they talked about.

    my niece was born just before christmas, so it was all about her then too. kinda ruined it for me. i only feel like ive started bonding with her now and she's over 3 months old.

    there were many times i cried over the 9 months she was pregnant, but i tried to realise that how i felt wasn't her fault and not to hold it against her. and i do love my niece. just don't talk about it too much, not unless she asks, like pp said.

    you are very nice for being so considerate

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  11. #27
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    Im pregnant with our little 'Surprise' and my older sister had been talking about children for ages before I found out. I felt a bit bad telling her, i always thought she would make me an auntie before I'd be a mum. I think she was a little upset, I think she's been a little distant but she's still very supportive.

    You really can't help it if these things happen, I pretty much said "please don't be upset, I'm sorry if I've hurt you, I know you've wanted kids before I have even thought about them but I'm pregnant". I told her and my parents straight away but waited till 12weeks for everyone else. She deserves to be told first from you before anyone else can let it slip.

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    shelby27  (25-03-2012)

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    She probably will cry but she will also be so thrilled to be an aunt again at the same time. My guess that part of the reason for her being so upset is that she will also be upset and angry with herself for feeling the way she does.
    I suggest telling her sooner rather then later. Make her feel part of the "secret" feel included and special . It may help a little.
    This exactly. My sister fell pregnant with her DD2 while I was undergoing fertility treatment. I was absolutely gutted but at the same time so excited for her. I fell pregnant a month later. Naturally, being so close ourselves, we were both over the moon about having our babies together. I then had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. After this I did not want to hear about her pregnancy, birth plans, did not want to love the baby after birth and thought I would forever hate the poor innocent bub. All the while what I felt most strongly was anger towards myself for having those feelings about my sister and beautiful niece.

    My sister was so respectful of my feelings. Instead of just not talking about her unborn she would ask if I wanted to talk about it, thus giving me the option to shut the conversation down if it was too much on any given day.

    So, maybe instead of not talking about the purple elephant in the room, just check in to see how she is doing then share if she is up for it. On some level she will want to share in your pregnancy journey and this might be a respectful way to include her.

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    shelby27  (25-03-2012)

  15. #29
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    I know the feeling. I fall pregnant just by LOOKING at a penis (don't need to touch it lol), but my poor aunty has been trying for about 5 years and only has one child (which the dr said it was a miracle because of her age and weight). I always feel horribly guilty being pregnant around her. With my son it wasn't so bad because that's when she was pregnant with her daughter (at the same time). And because I'm so young (compared to her) shes making it seem like it's wrong to have kids at my age and that I should wait, which is something I do not want to do

  16. #30
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    I was in the same boat. My SIL's brother and his wife had been trying for about 5-6 years to get pregnant. They are part of our circle of friends so we see them heaps especially when my SIL got pregnant it was great for them cos they'd had lots of miscarriages but sad again for her brother and his wife. Then we got pregnant less than a year after we got married and I felt really guilty sometimes when I saw her and I was getting bigger. I felt more sorry for my SIL's brother as he soooo wants to have kids and he's getting older too. He's so good with the kids in our friends circle so it was sad to know it may not happen for them. Well a few months ago we found out their IVF attempt was successful and that she is now 24 weeks pregnant expecting a little boy, so we are all so happy for them. And I'm due 6-7 week after her so am excited to be sharing this time with her too.
    I really hope things work out for your sister, but yeah maybe keep baby talk to a minimum unless she brings it up.


 

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