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  1. #1
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    Default hitting

    22 month old DD has recently started hitting me.

    Im going to assume she's picked it up from pre-school as shes never seen anyone hit anyone at home, on TV or out and about (as far as i know).

    My question is what do I do about it?

    I been giving her 'time outs' but shes already had 3 this morning

    ive told her 'no, that hurts mummy, that makes me sad, thats not nice, please be a good girl good girls dont hit anyone EVER, dont ever hit mummy ever again, etc etc' but alas its falling on deaf ears.. or she starts smacking the chair, floor, table insted.

    how do/did you teach your LO's that hitting is not accecptble?

  2. #2
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    We used the thinking chair method and there were some days where it felt like all the girls did was sit on that damned chair, but it has always worked for us. Withdrawal of favourite toys works well. Lots of positive re-inforcement of gentle behaviours too
    Good luck! Be consistent and persistent

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    IT CAN happen even when kids have never seen it, don't blame yourself.

    we are still working through it.

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    DD has started hitting me too (she is almost 23mths). She only hits me though - usually when I am rocking her to sleep.... I think she likes hearing the sound a slap makes on my skin. I have had some success asking her to be gentle and rub her hand on my skin instead. I tell her we dont hit but then I show her an alternative. If she continues I put her down/rstep away from her.

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    If she needs to release emotions by hitting, give her a pillow or something to hit instead. She might need a physical release. Just take her to a bean bag/lounge/bed and tell her to hit the pillows or cushions. She can't hurt herself on those either. Good luck!

  6. #6
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    I think sometimes that we all forget that kids sometimes NEED to be shown what TO DO, rather than what NOT to do??

    We were taught at uni (special ed) that you cant expect a child to 'drop' a behaviour - you need to offer them a replacement behaviour (if that makes sense?)

    Yes you need to stop her hitting you, but with my kids (and my students at school) I get the hand that they hit me with ... state "NO.. we dont hit, hitting makes me sad (big sad face!) .... we are GENTLE (while using their hand to rub wherever they hit) we are GENTLE with our friends (more rubbing) gentle is nice" ... then I thank the child for being gentle.

    time out is hard depending on the child's age ... we only use it at school after a repeated line of hitting .. when verbal prompts etc aren't working.

    I hope that helps - I would also be having some chats to the people at daycare, stating that its become an issue at home, ask what strategies THEY implement, so you know what is going on there too

    good luck

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  8. #7
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    I admit, my go-to action with hitting is the same that I use for training puppies. I yelp! Or I pout my lip and pretend to cry. DS is a very caring little boy and only really hits to play (although occasionally it's because he's cranky). He doesn't like to see his mamma pout, so he instantly gives me a kiss and a cuddle to say sorry.
    It stops him for a little while, but as kids have a short term memory with that sort of thing a week later he might do it again. I just rinse and repeat. He doesn't do it anywhere near as much as he used to anymore so it just takes persistence .

    (Although I do acknowledge that my method doesn't work for every child).

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    I'm going to say here that the whole hitting and biting thing is developmental.

    It spikes anytime between 14-24months. Usually biting before hitting.

    I've always just said, "You must be gentle" and then redirected their hands to patting or cuddles. And if they hit again, I'd walk away or put them down... (then they'd cry and carry on) and I'd bend down again and say "You must be gentle" and redirect them to patting or cuddles again.

    I've never had the stage last very long... and we've been through it four times, and are currently in it with our 21month old.

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    My response is pretty much the same as others. I pout and cringe and say that hurt. Please don't hit, you must never hit, can you give me a hug and say sorry. DS is pretty sensitive and seemed to learn quick to not hit and bite, but I agree it's just a stage, a painful one, but she'll get through, just

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    Sorry hit send by accident, just keep up with it. She'll get there.


 

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